Rise of the Defenders
by Just2Strangers
Summary: Xander Drake never considered himself to be particularly unlucky- until he was selected to lead a quest of epic proportions with his dream girl, a girl trapped in a dream, and a raving alcoholic. Their task: save their kind from the genocidal intent of giant, armored acid monsters with anger management issues. No pressure there. {Post original PJ} Finally complete!
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: This is Rick Riordan's brain child.**

**~O~O~O~**

**Prologue**

The main hall of Olympus was full of assembled immortals. Although impromptu meetings were nothing unusual, the idea that one would need to be called during such a peaceful era seemed unnecessary to many of those gathered.

Zeus cleared his throat. "Today, we have been called to council by Hermes." His bored gesture bid the lesser god to speak.

"Goddesses and gods, we have a very big problem on our hands. There is an army forming-" The others cut him off, whispering urgently to each other or laughing at the absurdity. _Why doesn't anyone ever believe me the first time?_ The underappreciated messenger sighed. "EVERYONE!" The room hushed. "It's made up of mechanic…er…well, I can't say I know what they are." Hermes took a deep breath and continued while the attention of the room was finally his, "And it seems to be moving toward Camp Half-Blood."

Aphrodite gasped, "But our children!"

"We can't just let them die," Poseidon asserted.

"We should crush them! If they're too much for our kids to handle, then no rules apply," growled Ares.

Athena stopped them all. "Hermes, how great are their chances for survival?"

Hermes shifted uncomfortably. "Well...There are about four hundred demigods and the army has...uh...thirty thousand and more being recruited and…um…built, I suppose. So...not great." The shocked room burst into a cacophony of angry noises.

"ORDER!" Zeus thundered. They quieted, fear plain in many of them. "Before you panic, there's been a prophecy." The room's mood changed drastically. A prophecy meant there was hope. "The Oracle herself has agreed to grace us with her presence, so please, be polite."

A relaxed middle-aged woman with tumbledown red hair stepped out in front of the giant gods. She took a deep breath, and green mist swirled around her, taking possession of her. An echoing, raspy voice resonated clearly through the room.

_"A dark storm on the horizon, a group set out in three__  
><em>_The last member of the party more than he claims to be__  
><em>_The journey wrought with danger, a brother in distress__  
><em>_Not with force but with a kiss he shall be made to confess__  
><em>_A group split apart by fang, sword, and lies__  
><em>_Listen for the mournful cries;__  
><em>_In night, love triumphs and the cursed one dies."_

**~O~O~O~**

**Hi, guys! We know that this story is going to be a bit unconventional due to the lack of PJ characters, so we just want to explain a couple of things. First, we're acting as though Percy Jackson and the rest died. (Why? Because in the books, no one is older than their teens unless they're a myth, and being a demigod doesn't exactly fade with childhood.) It's about ten years in the future, so there won't be any flying cars. Oh, and we're acting as though the second series never happened, because we haven't read it.**

**Please give it a chance! We have some awesome stuff planned. :}**

**One last thing! The summary has been rewritten along with the story. This was previously titled "Rise of the Defenders," but we thought that was boring and scrapped it for this lovely new title, because it made us laugh.**

** Forever Yours,**

** Rachel and Monica**


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter 1**

Revenge. That was the name of the game. Revenge. Though they had lost track of which one had started it all, the Athena and Ares cabins were locked in a continuous battle of pranks and mischief. And today, it was Athena's turn.

Xander knew it was serious. Georgia and Andrew Richards, the twin co-counselors of Athena, had arranged a war meeting the night before to discuss their counter attack. They had planned meticulously. Everything was in place. They'd had to form an alliance with Hermes cabin, but it would have been worth the look they would all get to see on their victims' faces.

Xander remembered his role fondly as he trudged up the hill to the mess hall. He and his half-brother Henry had been in charge of actually stealing the weapons for their preparation. It had been difficult, and they had nearly been caught. Keyword being "nearly."

As Xander took his seat at the table surrounded by his cabin mates and partners in crime, he could feel the anticipation. It shouldn't be much longer, he thought to himself. He took a look around the mess hall, searching for the victims.

"Do you see them?" Henry asked excitedly. He was young and bubbling with excitement.

"No," Xander murmured with the twang of a born and bred Southerner. "It must be holdin' 'em up."

Xander gazer around the pavilion. Although he had only been a regular (one of the kids who stayed at Camp year-round) for a few months, he already knew most if the campers. Demeter's kids began to file in followed by Apollo, some of whom waved at him. Those of Aphrodite's cabin came next, looking at him either with flirtatious glances or complete elitism. But even as the stragglers began to show, nobody from Ares cabin had arrived.

"Makes you wonder what they're tryin'a do." Xander laughed.

"No kidding," Andrew chuckled, "if they aren't even showing up."

"Oh, they'll show up," said a girl to Xander's left. "They have to."

Xander looked around again as people began to get food. His anticipation grew steadily.

To distract himself, he settled his gaze on a young girl he had never seen before. She looked to be about twelve years old and sat alone, apparently the only child of her godly parent. _She is definitely new…isn't she?_ Xander wondered. A flaming red braid was her only conspicuous trait, but it was enough to have grabbed his attention in the first place. Almost as if she felt his eyes, she lifted her eyes and stared back with a quizzical expression and a darkening blush. Some quality about her made her look…old, somehow. Xander averted his attention to his hands, despite feeling curious.

"Oh. My. Gods!" shrieked a girl from the Aphrodite table, interrupting his thoughts. The Athena cabin whirled around to come face to face with their handiwork.

A certain nonlethal venom mixed with nectar could create a highly adhesive substance- and they had soaked the Ares cabin's weapons and armor in it. Weapons stuck to campers at odd angles, some chain-linked from attempts to help each other. Each of them fidgeted uncomfortably as the pavilion roared with laughter.

"Athena!" A deep voice boomed out, causing each of Athena's kids to choke on their own laughter. Guy Crofter, the cabin leader, stormed forward. His left hand was stuck to a helmet and his right to a shield and two eleven-year-olds who really should have had fangs and claws to match their enraged faces. Crofter was tall and thick and possessed eyes that burned like his father's.

"Yes, Crofter?" Georgia answered calmly. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Don't you give me that!" Crofter growled, stepping right in front of where Xander had turned to face him. "This is unacceptable!"

"Says the guy who hid our entire library in the pegasi stalls." Xander retorted under his breath. Crofter heard and his attention shifted.

"You think this is funny?" Crofter hissed. "You think this is funny, you little smart mouthed hick?"

_Yeah,_ Xander thought, putting aside the insult. _It's pretty hilarious._

"Look here, Cowboy. In Capture the Flag tomorrow you all better watch your backs, because I intend to personally kill every last one of you."

Crofter leaned in toward Xander until he could see every scar, every ounce of glistening sweat on his ugly face and smell every whiff of the guy's last few meals. Someone needs a toothbrush.

"And I think…I think I'll have to start with you, Cowboy."

Crofter about-faced and led his cabin through the silenced crowd to their table. A moment of silence followed, quickly followed by nervous chatting.

"Don't sweat it, Xander, he says that to everyone," Georgia tried to assure him.

Xander wasn't so sure, though. A few weeks ago Evan Larson of Zeus's cabin picked a fight with Crofter and showed up the next day with a very broken leg. A few months before that was Thomas Hornbeck of Hephaestus. Before that, Lyle Cross of Hermes. The list went on. They hadn't looked good. Some of them still didn't.

"Well," Xander sighed, "at least tomorrow'll be interestin'." He looked back up toward the table where the strange girl sat. She seemed entirely preoccupied with her plate, but Xander noted that she appeared to be laughing quietly.

"HELLO, DEMIGODS!" A slurred, all-too-familiar voice rang out over the gathered diners. Everyone glared at the center of the pavilion, and more than a few let out groans of exasperation. They all knew the only person who would dare risking Mr. D's wrath…"Isn't the food great tonight? Yeah? Liiiittle bit? Tell you what, you're all lively tonight. And we all know that the only thing more lively than this crowd—SPIRITS!"…was Jefficus Willard, son of Dionysus himself. "Whaddaya say, folks? Need a little warming up from this chilly reception? I've got just-" he hiccupped, "-the goblet!" He chugged from one of the magical goblets, apparently asking for more… and more… and more…

"How drunk do ya reckon he'll be tomorrow durin' Capture the Flag?" Xander looked over at Henry, who was nudging him excitedly with a bony little elbow.

He could only shake his head in reply, because the head honcho himself had just used a cane to hook the drunken demigod by the neck and yank him offstage. The place roared with thunderous applause and laughter. Willard bowed and stumbled, rolling head over heels out the door. Mr. D rolled his eyes to the heavens and followed his son out.

With that, the meal was over. Xander started to stand and nearly jumped as warm breath tickled his ear. "Meet me at Hecate's cabin," she whispered, just barely audible enough to be heard. No one else noticed the red glint as she ducked away among the crowd, out of the firelight.

Xander raised an eyebrow in surprise. Curiosity overtook him, and he found himself running off toward Hecate's cabin.

**~O~O~O~**

**Catching on to our shiny new scheme yet? It won't take long, don't worry.**

** Thanks to everyone who's reviewed! Your compliments make our egos look fat. **

** Forever yours,**

** Monica and Rachel**


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter 2**

As the sun began to set over Camp Half-Blood, the light illuminated Hecate's magic-themed cabin in a way that made it glow from all angles, especially the breathtaking waning moon that hung over the door. Xander had never visited Hecate's cabin; he'd never had a reason to. Nobody had lived there for years.

Xander narrowed his eyes as he approached the door. He realized he didn't even know who it was he was going to see, let alone why.

"Ah, well," he mumbled, drawing his fist out of his pocket and giving the door three quick knocks. She opened the door a crack first to check his identity.

"Xander Drake, is it not?" The young girl flicked her wide eyes between his own and the ground. "Tomorrow." Big, icy blue orbs stared up at him expectantly as her small voice managed hesitantly, "Capture the Flag? You look like you need help."

He twitched involuntarily and rocked on his feet. "Ares talks a big game, but they ain't that strong. We reckon we can take 'em," he said through gritted teeth. _She's right, though. We're dead meat._

She regarded him critically, finally able to speak above a whisper. "You should know that you are a terrible liar."

Xander blushed. _I'm not _that_ bad._ "What can ya offer us? One little girl against fifteen angry warriors?"

The girl sighed, apparently disheartened. "I thought _you_ would understand. We aren't all what we seem, are we?" Her eyes flickered, and he was once again overcome by that strange sensation. "They have the Daughter of Hades on their side. Does not it make sense to have a mercenary of your own?"

She perplexed him. How she looked and the words she spoke didn't match up. "Right, then. We'll give ya freedom on the field, assumin' ya can get behind enemy lines."

"I will do my best." The girl smiled confidently, and it almost reached her eyes.

"Alright, then. An alliance it is." They shook hands. "Oh…and, uh, what's your name?" Xander kicked himself mentally for not asking sooner.

"Rose." Suddenly her warmth was replaced by a chillier air. She stepped into Hecate's cabin, but just as the door shut it was pulled open again. "Thank you," she said earnestly. The lock clicked behind her.

Xander headed back to his family, his mind still reeling. Girls, he thought. They were so difficult to figure out, even for a son of Athena, and half-blood girls seemed to be the most complicated of all.

"Speak of the devil," Xander whispered to the wind. His head turned as he watched the girl walk by him, ignoring him completely with an air of boredom.

Dani Kyle, daughter of Hades. It was true that when Xander had first come to Camp Half-Blood he had quickly developed a crush on Dani- the way she looked and fought was unlike any of the girls he had grown up around. Although it had become pretty obvious to him that she wasn't interested in him. Or anyone with a pulse, really. He had given up hope.

"Hey, Dani," Xander said quietly, not expecting her to hear or respond. But at the sound of her name she turned around and faced Xander with that expressionless stare.

They stood like that for a moment. He was unprepared to actually begin any sort of conversation. _Oh gods, what do I say?_

After a prolonged moment of awkward silence, Dani took over and initiated a conversation. "Are you the kid Crofter is planning to murder?"

Xander shrugged and looked down at his feet. "I s'pose. Why?"

Dani's stony face shadowed over as she spun on her heels. "Just wanted to know who I would be seeing in Asphodel."

Xander stood alone in the center of the cabin circle, considering the fact that the two most perplexing girls he had ever met could agree on one thing: he was sure to die.

**~O~O~O~**

**We know, we know, THE ACCENT. Yeah, you're welcome. ;)**

**~Monica and Rachel**


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter 3**

The celestial bronze sword swiped by Xander's line of vision as he took a practice jab at the air. The game had begun. He began to pace again, he and Henry in charge of close proximity defense.

The flag of Athena was placed on a tree branch six feet up in perfect view of everyone, but exceedingly difficult to reach. Henry waited up in the tree with the flag while Xander patrolled the trunk.

"You think Crofter will show up here?" Henry asked. Although Xander would never point it out he heard the quiver of nervousness in his young friend's voice.

"Prob'ly," he responded blankly, still pacing. He decided honesty seemed like the best idea. "After all, he _did_ promise to murder me." Xander laughed in an attempt to disguise his own fear.

He had had a hard time sleeping the night before. Caught between stress caused by an impending battle and confusion, Xander had spent the night thinking and worrying without coming to any conclusions.

"Xander, I saw something," Henry whispered down, "to your left."

Xander took a deep breath and turned, drawing his sword as he did. Let the fun begin.

Red hair. "Rose! Whatcha doin' here?"

"Crofter is about one hundred yards away to the east. He has a leg wound, but be cautious," she warned him reticently, staring at the flag.

Xander's jaw dropped slightly at Rose's comment. "_You_... ya took on Crofter?" he asked in total disbelief.

"Hey, now you might actually have a chance!" Henry mocked from his post on the tree.

Rose flashed a brief smile. "Surprise him. An injured buck fights more fiercely than an unsuspecting one." She turned and dissolved into the trees with practiced ease.

Xander turned back toward Henry, who called, "Well, go on, don't miss all of the fun!" With that, he sent his brother a grin and took off into the woods.

He raced in the direction Rose had given him, eager to find Crofter. He figured that once he got there he could assess the damage and then adjust his strategy to take Crofter out of the game. Xander moved silently around a tree trunk to where he figured Crofter would be lying, injured and immobile.

He was wrong.

"Wow. You really thought Crofter would still be here, didn't you? Not your best move. He's not the only one who can take you out of this game." The cool female voice came from across the small clearing. Dani leaned against an oak with one if her knives in her hands. She didn't even deign to look up. "Personally, I would run now…but if you think getting stabbed is a better idea, I certainly won't stand in your way." Her head snapped up and her eyes met his. A wolfish grin contorted her lovely face.

Xander took a step back. She took a step forward. He broke into a full-out sprint and she followed little more than step behind him. There was no need for silence now; this was a chase, and he was very worried about his chances of coming out unscathed. It was if they were just kids playing tag, except that she had knives and deadly accuracy. Although his intention had been to get back to Henry or to Andrew's brigade patrolling the side, Xander's inadequate sense of direction led him straight to the front line.

They both stopped short at the impossible sight in front of them.

Ares' defenses were burning.

**~O~O~O~**

**Okay, so anyone who's kept up with us, THANK YOU. Sorry that it's taken us so long to repost much. **

**Also, it gets better as it goes on (we promise!) but we had to introduce the characters first and the next chapter is awesome! …Don't eat us…**


	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter 4**

"What in Hades happened?" Xander exclaimed.

Athena's kids were laughing too hard to answer. "It was Willard!" Georgia answered between hysterical giggles. "We convinced him that they were Athena, so he went and poured wine all over everything. Gods, they didn't even try to stop him! Just stared while he sang show tunes and danced around, spilling it everywhere. Then he struck a match and just skipped away!" The whole team was sent back into a fit.

A younger kid called out, "One of them ran away fanning his pants!" Another round of hooting followed.

Suddenly, they noticed Dani. "Would you rather run to them through the flames or get knocked out and tied to a tree, daughter of Hades?" Andrew asked mockingly. "You could also try to fight, but you are slightly outnumbered."

Xander turned his head to where Dani stood. Every aspect of her body language displayed boredom. Her arms were crossed at her chest and her head tilted slightly to the side as she beheld her team trying desperately to put out the fire on the front line. When Andrew spoke, she turned her head slowly to face him. A shadow of dread encompassed the entire field.

"For someone so smart, you can be really stupid sometimes." Dani replied smoothly. She turned her head back toward the fire and sighed. Xander followed her lead and stopped his gaze on doom itself.

Creeping silently out of the fire, undisturbed by Dani's flailing teammates, were at the least half a hundred skeletal, undead soldiers. They marched out of the flames toward the Athena cabin, whose laughter had started to die down.

"You really want to keep talking about numbers, Andrew?" Dani asked quietly.

The soldiers came forward and drew their weapons. Athena's children took cautious steps back as they watched the soldiers advance.

"Why didn't we have a strategy meeting, again?" asked Georgia sarcastically.

"Shut up," Andrew replied, and then they were too busy to talk much at all.

_But Ares can't win. They're all there, puttin' out the fire. Except..._

As Xander turned around it hit him like a slap in the face. Crofter was racing back toward the boundary line carrying Athena's flag.

"Somebody stop Crofter!" Xander shouted over the flames and shouts of the Ares team on the other side of the boundary line river. But he realized that the rest of his team was busy attempting to fight off the skeletal warriors.

_I guess I'll hafta stop him myself, _Xander figured. He turned to chase Crofter through the woods.

"I don't think so," came the same cool voice from before, this time right in his ear.

Xander jabbed his arm and sword behind him, only to have it grabbed and tugged behind his back with a jolt of pain. Dani's knee dug into Xander's back as she pushed him chest first into a tree trunk, knocking the air out of his chest with a thud.

A twig snapped next to them. "Guys, guys, guys, guys." The sixteen-year-old fell against an oak tree and chuckled for a few moments. "Sweetie, whatever he did to you, it's just not worth killing him. You'd get kicked out of camp, and wouldn't that just be a delightful treat for all these beasties?"

He reached down, missed, paused, and attempted the action again. This time he grabbed Xander's cheeks and squished the younger boy's face, jerking his head back and forth. He took on the cuddly voice you use to address a baby. "Look at this face. Idn't he too cute to get all scratched up by da big, mean daughter of Hades? Idn't he? Aww, kutchee kutchee coo!" Willard fell backward, cackling. "Xander and Dani sitting in a tree, k-i-l-l-i-n-g...each other!" His melody was terribly out of tune, even if the lyrics were accurate enough.

Dani's jaw tightened as she watched Willard on the ground laughing at her. "You're cut off," she growled, thrusting one of her Stygian iron knives at him and pinning his shirt to the ground. The pressure on Xander's back increased as Willard spoke and he could feel his arm being pushed higher up his back. As Willard rolled drunkenly around on the ground, Xander tried to peer at where Crofter was with the flag. He was uncomfortably close to the boundary. Xander needed an opportunity- soon.

"Cut off? No way! Only the bartender has that authority!" A feverish light glazed over Willard's green eyes and he pulled the knife up, using it to slash at Dani with what appeared to be actual technique. "I…will not be…CUT OFF!"

Dani lost her temper. She let go of Xander and turned to face Willard. He really shouldn't have used her own knives against her, Xander winced. To do that was about the most horrendous breach of conduct anyone could make in a fight, other than stabbing someone in the back, and any self-respecting daughter of Hades would not take that sort of mockery well. "We'll see about that, you drunk pig." She flicked another knife from her belt and twirled it menacingly.

Xander saw this as the perfect opportunity took one cautious step away. When neither of them tried to stop him, he continued to walk away backwards. He went slowly at first, but gradually turned his gait into a run.

"Crofter, drop the flag." Rose's voice was soft but firm. They were close. Xander raced past two more trees before hiding behind a bush that gave him a perfect view of the burly boy's back. Crofter was standing with his hands raised, but still looked as though he would try to make an escape.

He needed a strategy. Rose seemed confident, but Xander had a hard time believing Crofter would go easy on her just because she was a little girl. No, he was sure he wouldn't.

_Think. Think._ Xander racked his brains; his mind worked at the speeds that could only be achieved by children of Athena. He analyzed every twitch both demigods made, scenarios buzzing through his head before he picked one and went with it, not having time to spare.

Xander's fist curled around a stick at his feet. He hurled it at a boulder roughly thirty feet away, which caused Crofter's head to twitch briefly in the direction of the noise. That gave Xander the split second he needed to roll out from behind the bush and smack the hilt of his sword into the back of Crofter's injured knee. The large boy staggered and fell to the ground.

Rose snatched the flag, nodded at Xander, and began running…but didn't take more than three steps before Crofter grabbed her ankle and raised her into the air. She gasped and kicked but couldn't pull her ankle free of his iron grip. "Xander!"

"Gotta save your girlfriend, Cowboy." Crofter sneered at Xander and picked up his battle ax. He dropped Rose- who landed on her hands and tumbled away- took on a battle stance, and tried to chop Xander's midsection. Athena's son narrowly avoided mutilation with a well-timed dodge. Unfortunately, Crofter anticipated the counter and followed with a powerful punch that landed on Xander's gut. The pain blinded him and forced him to his knees.

Xander was fighting valiantly to regain his feet when the huge boy leaned close and hissed into his ear, "Open your eyes, Cowboy. I like watching them realize they're dead." His cackle was distorted by deeply rooted insanity.

Still laughing madly, he swung his ax high like it was the heavyweight hammer at a carnival. Except there was no carnival bell to take the blow- it would crush Xander's head.

He heard Rose cry his name, heard a thud. Crofter's eyes widened and his limbs became slack. He fell over and lay disturbingly still, gripping his battle ax even as the light faded from his eyes. "What?" Her voice was hollow with shock, and then horror twisted her porcelain features. "Oh, gods, no. No. I did not even…It should have hit his shoulder…No, no, no!" She let out a strangled sob. "Xander, I am so sorry. So, so sorry. Oh, gods. I only wanted to save you. Oh, gods." She collapsed to her knees, tears streaming freely.

Xander scrambled away from Crofter. As he sat catching his breath, his eyes focused again and he realized the eeriness in Crofter's stillness, in Rose's whimpers. It took a moment or two for him to start screaming. "Chiron! Somebody get Chiron!"

Athena's son could see a few of his teammates through the trees turn in his direction, unable to see what was going on. "Now!" Xander shouted. Three of his half brothers disappeared to find the centaur; he stayed to help if there was anything that could be done.

Xander crawled over to his enemy and put his hand on Crofter's neck, trying to find any hint of a pulse. His gaze shot to Rose. In any other situation, he may have gone to her and tried to comfort her, but there were higher priorities.

"What happened?" He heard his own voice demand an answer. He needed to assess, he needed to plan. He needed to know if it was even worth it to try.

Rose stifled her sobs. "I shot him. Through the heart. He was going to kill you. I must have aimed too low, because I killed him. Another dead. Through the heart…" There were a few beats of silence. Then her voice came out, stilted and toneless. "Please call for Chiron. There is something wrong, so wrong…"

Xander shook his head, unable to grasp the idea that the boy who lay before him was gone. Even more unbelievable: the idea that his life had been ended at Rose's hand. She was so young. He stood up as if in a trance, walked over to the little girl, and crouched beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"It's okay," he tried to assure her, "it'll be okay." He couldn't bring himself to take his eyes off of Crofter's body, though, as if he were trapped in a state of morbid disbelief.

Chiron raced out from the trees, surrounded by various campers on both sides of the feud. They all stopped short, whispers and gasps filling the air, replacing all their previous hostility. Chiron's dark, wise eyes scoured the scene, landing on Rose and lingering there.

"Adams, Baranby, get Mr. Crofter to the Big House immediately."

The two boys walked forward stonily, their faces held in the direction of Xander and Rose. Their expressions were marked with confusion. They lifted Crofter's body and jogged back through the woods.

"Everyone, this match of Capture the Flag is over. Please return to camp. Immediately," Chiron demanded, keeping his voice level. As the campers slowly and silently filed out, Chiron approached the two sitting on the ground. "What happened?"

"He was on top of me. We were fightin' and well..." Xander answered, trailing off at the end. "I'm not real sure what happened." He rubbed his neck.

Chiron's demanding eyes softened as they shifted to Rose, expectantly waiting for her to speak.

She cleared her throat and spoke quietly. "Crofter was about to put that ax through Xander's head. I reacted instinctively and aimed for his shoulder, but the arrow hit his heart instead. Yet…Chiron, it was not my aim. I know it was not. I have been hunting for millennia, and a close shot such as that where the target is standing still is…it is too unlikely that I would miss it. But I suppose I did…how else did he die?" She put her head in her hands and breathed deeply. Then she looked straight at Xander. "Now would be a good time for you to leave. You do not need to hear the woes of an ancient past."

_Millennia? Ancient history? Who is this? _Xander thought. He turned his head to Rose and dropped his arm from around her. "No," he told her flatly. "I was the one who almost bit it, so I deserve to hear this." Xander's attention dashed to see Chiron's reaction to make sure he wouldn't have to argue with him, too.

She nodded in consent. "I…I ruined them all. Every single one I have ever cared for, ever loved, ever hated, even for a moment…" After a pause, Rose started up again; it sounded as though her own heart were broken. "And then…Artemis spoke to you of him, did she not, Chiron? Monsters that had been chasing us found him before his cancer could…Gods, he even thanked me, said it was better to have died quickly…And my sisters. Oh, my sisters; I have betrayed them. To love is the worst treachery a Hunter of Artemis can commit." Tears streamed down her face now as her wide blue eyes pierced Xander's soul. He ached for her, for the memories she spoke of, for the choices made in centuries past.

"There have been so many to die at my hand, Chiron. What is wrong with me? Why did this boy die today? Who will I take the life of tomorrow? Which god is playing this sick game? Help me," she pleaded, panicked.

Xander replaced his arm around Rose and cradled her head against his shoulder. He had been raised to comfort those in need, and the situation definitely applied. "It's okay," he whispered, unsure of better words. "We can figure it out. It ain't your fault. It's okay."

Chiron rested a hand on Rose's back comfortingly. "Xander is correct. Your circumstances are quite unusual. We'll figure something out. In the meantime, I suggest you head to the pavilion for dinner while Dionysus and I discuss how to continue from here." Chiron gave Xander a sympathetic smile and then slowly trotted away from the two.

Xander held Rose in the eerie silence of the forest for a moment longer before rising and gently helping her up. His mind had put two and two together- she was no longer a Hunter. She had been disgraced, exiled, and now she had killed a camper. _Rough first few days, to say the least._

"Come on," Xander said calmly. "Let's get goin'." _Although where we go from here, _Xander mused, _is somethin' I doubt even the gods know._

**~O~O~O~**_  
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**Demigod21, XxGiRlOnFiRexX, HannaBananaTwinny, and Cat of Flames, you guys deserve cookies. As soon as we finish building our Transmatter Ray, we'll get those to ya. **


	6. Chapter Five

**Chapter 5**

Xander could hear the voices from the pavilion all the way down the hill.

"I heard they beat him in the face with a rock. Those animals!"

"Are you kidding me? It was with his own ax!"

"Is he really dead?"

"No way!"

"Xander wouldn't do that."

"He was marked for death. I would have slaughtered the kid if it had been me."

"Who was that girl?"

"Manslaughter."

"Murder."

Xander took a deep breath and smiled at Rose encouragingly. In truth, he was scared to approach them all. Every time he closed his eyes, the image of Crofter's lifeless body burned on his eyelids.

Willard lay passed out in front of them, splayed across the cold stone steps. A bottle hung loosely from his hand. Xander shook his head and stepped around him. _Time to face the music._

No one spoke a word, but everyone stared at them. Some were at least discreet about it, for which Xander was thankful. He made his way to Athena's table, but his own siblings shunned him by taking up as much room as possible. Henry moved as if to join him, but Xander signaled a 'no.' Rose took his hand and led him to her own empty table. When they sat down, a hushed chatter started up again.

"What the heck!" A voice shouted out from the Ares table, silencing the pitiful amount of normal chit chat that existed. "They kill Crofter and we're just gonna let them sit there?" The resounding voices of the Ares table roared in agreement but were immediately counter-attacked by the Hephaestus table. Suddenly everyone not only had an opinion, but a loud one.

"Just ignore 'em," Xander told Rose, leaning over the table. "They'll all calm down when Chiron gets here."

Rose nodded solemnly and continued to stare down at the table. Xander beat down anyone who dared stare too long; the looks he and Rose received varied greatly between disgust and gratitude.

"Quiet down!" Dionysus's voice rang out from the back of the pavilion. The campers all sat down, quiet but roiling with their emotions. "Alexander Drake." Mr. D shouted, extending his arm and motioning with one finger for him to come forward. His face was a mask that showed only brief glimpses of his trademark giddy cruelty and annoyance.

Xander squeezed Rose's hand and stood up cautiously, walking past his peers toward the god. _Why me? I didn't do anythin'_.

"Chiron needs to see you. It's important." Mr. D told him, loud enough that the closest tables would be able to hear.

Xander swallowed hard and nodded his head. "Yessir." He walked out of the pavilion, convinced that it was the last time he would ever set foot there.

**~O~O~O~**

**The chapters get longer soon. Soon-ish. The best parts are yet to come. ^_^**

**~Monica and Rachel**


	7. Chapter Six

**Chapter 6**

_He's gonna to kill me. He's gonna throw me to the hellhounds,_ Xander decided as he reached the porch where the ancient centaur sat, disguised as a handicapped man. _He's thinkin' it was my fault. And maybe that's true,_ Xander considered.

"Hello, Xander. Are you doing all right?" Chiron asked, his hands folded neatly in his lap.

Xander laughed nervously. "Under the circumstances? No sir. No sir, not really."

Chiron half-smiled. "That's understandable, although I am sympathetic nevertheless. If it makes you feel better, you aren't here because you are in trouble."

His head snapped up and Xander raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "I'm not?" His stomach seemed to unknot itself and he breathed deeply in relief. "Why am I here, then?"

The centaur sighed. "That is unfortunately where more bad news comes to play. You have been selected by the gods and myself for a quest."

Xander blinked repeatedly in shock and ran is hand through his hair. "The gods want _me_ for a quest?" His eyes darted back and forth as if expecting someone to jump out and yell 'Gotcha!' No one did. "A quest for what? Why me?"

"Yes. You seemed like the obvious choice after having consulted with the Oracle myself." Xander felt grateful but inadequate and took to examining the wooden porch to hide it. "The quest itself though is far from enjoyable. A massive army consisting primarily of metal creatures is making its way toward Camp Half-Blood as we speak. Something- or someone- is sending it."

_Metal creatures? _Xander crossed his arms in front of his chest. "How massive, exactly?"

"Thousands in number and steadily increasing."

The uneasy feeling in Xander's stomach returned.

"The gods are counting on you to determine who is sending the army and put a stop to their plans. I can give you more details if you accept and receive the prophecy."

Xander remained quiet, playing it all out in his head. A scrawny demigod versus a powerful entity with a ferocious army? The odds didn't look good.

Yet…what other choice did he have but to say yes? The gods themselves had chosen him.

"I... I s'pose I accept."

Chiron smiled at Xander, squeezing his arm lightly. "The journey will be perilous, that much I can assure you. Are you quite sure?"

"Yeah. Yessir, I am," Xander answered, growing more confident.

"Then next you must consult Rachel about your prophecy. I wish you the best of luck."

Xander ascended the stairs leading to the attic of the Big House, noting that the door was slightly ajar. He rapped his knuckles lightly on the door and was met by a friendly, "Come in!"

Xander pushed the door open to reveal a cozy (but extremely cluttered) room. Shelves filled with art supplies lined the walls and small trinkets and artifacts were scattered around haphazardly. Easels were strewn about; some were hung up, but the others were tossed to the side absent-mindedly. In the far corner sat a futon that was comparatively untouched and neat.

In the center, painting on a large canvas, was a tall woman around the age of thirty. Her bright red hair was pulled into a chopstick bun and her clothes were smeared with brightly colored paint and clay.

"Ah, Xander!" the woman greeted him excitedly, green eyes sparkling. She wiped her hands on her oversized shirt, adding to its array of colors, and extended her hand. Xander shook it, awkwardly shifting his weight between his feet.

"Do you want a cookie?" she asked, motioning to a plate that had gone unnoticed among the mess.

"No thank you, ma'am," Xander answered, stuffing his hands into his jeans' pockets. He was afraid to leave the relatively clear patch of flooring as the Oracle hopped around, reorganizing her supplies.

"Interesting accent there, Xander," Rachel said pleasantly, "Louisiana?"

Xander's eyes skimmed over some of the completed works of art. Most were abstract and colorful but others seemed…different. His eyes froze on a small, dark painting depicting a man backed into a corner, scarred and bloody, sword pointed at an imposing black shadow. The image sent a chill up his back.

"No. Kilgore, Texas, actually." Xander replied. "Miss…uh-"

"Rachel."

"Miss Rachel. I, uh, I came here to hear a prophecy," he explained nervously.

Rachel stopped and faced him once again. "Well, of course you did! It is your quest after all. Silly me. You must be excited. Antsy, though, I bet. And here I am talking so much. Wasting your time. Gosh, it's like I just don't know when to-"

Xander cleared his throat discreetly and Rachel stopped.

"Right. Right. On with the prophecy." Rachel took a deep breath and opened her mouth, green smoke spilling out and taking shape as Xander's father and future step mother. Even in the smoke, they looked annoyed with him.

_"A dark storm on the horizon, a group set out in three__  
><em>_The last member of the party more than he claims to be."_ His father said in a raspy, old voice that was very unlike his actual tone.

_"The journey wrought with danger, a brother in distress.__  
><em>_Not with force but with a kiss he shall be made to confess."_ His step mother-to-be spoke in the same voice.

_"A group split apart by fang, sword, and lies__  
><em>_Listen for the mournful cries."_

_"In night, love triumphs and the cursed one dies."_ His father's girlfriend finished ominously before both figures evaporated.

Rachel shook her head and blinked a few times. "Oh good, you're alive! I always get so worried." Rachel Elizabeth Dare walked up to Xander and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, almost like a mother. "Good luck, sweetie. Judging by the look on your face, you'll probably need it."

**~O~O~O~**

**See? Not everyone from PJ is dead! ^.^ Granted, Rachel doesn't exactly do the dirty work.**

**~Monica and a slightly affronted Rachel**


	8. Chapter Seven

**Chapter 7**

Xander hung upside-down from a tree branch. When he was little he had discovered that being upside-down helped him think things through and he'd never had a greater need for that than today.

"You need to seek Echidna," the counselor advised him when he returned from seeing Rachel.

"Echidna?" Xander had asked. "You mean the mother of all monsters is leadin' this army?"

"She is the number one suspect," Chiron replied.

"Great," Xander had murmured.

He opened his eyes and looked around the camp from a new orientation. The other campers were milling about. Some were squeezing in practice after dinner and others were just chatting. Most of them didn't regard him with hostility- save Ares' kids. Mr. D had informed them on the circumstances of Crofter's death, so while the majority of the campers didn't look like they trusted Xander, he was pretty sure they didn't see him as a murderer. They _did_, however, see him as the guy who was spending his time hanging upside-down in a tree. He could only imagine how odd he looked.

Before he could even think about how he was going to stop Echidna and her army, Xander had to determine which two people he would ask to accompany him. Who would he ask to join him on a journey to a very likely demise? Who _could_ he ask?

The prophecy. Split apart. Brother in distress. Mournful cries. Cursed one dies. _It sure doesn't sound like a walk in the park._

"Gods help me," Xander laughed anxiously. He could feel all of the blood rushing to his head. He scanned the area to distract himself and saw a familiar ginger approaching. Xander gripped the branch, unhooked his legs, let go, and managed to land perfectly. The blood began circulating to the rest of his body, but the sudden change in direction made him feel dizzy. He ignored the nausea and jogged toward her.

"Rose," he called as he drew nearer, "are ya doin' okay?"

She responded by grabbing his hand and searching his face. "You are not in trouble, are you?"

_Define trouble,_ Xander thought. "No. No, I ain't in any trouble." He decided not to worry her. "And you? Are ya okay?"

"Liar. What did Chiron speak of?"

Xander looked away and ran his hand through his hair. "I'm not lyin'. It was nothin' huge. Just, uh...somethin' with...my dad. Yeah. Not a problem." Xander was lying through his teeth, hoping that Rose would drop it. He didn't want to have to tell her that on the same day she accidentally killed Crofter, he was leaving camp to face certain demise.

"Your father is unrelated to whatever went on in that cabin. Since I have not been called as well, it is your own burden. Now that you refuse to be honest, I can only assume that you are in danger. Please tell me, Xander," she finished in a quiet fervor.

He was a terrible liar; he always had been, and he probably always would be, but he had never been so logically called out on it. Xander considered trying to argue with her, but decided against it. She'd won. "Fine," Xander snapped, "I got a quest. Ya happy now? I got a quest!"

Xander hadn't really meant to get angry. Even though he would try to deny it, he was scared. So scared that letting it out made him unpleasant.

She softened. "Oh, no. What is going on out there? Have the Titans returned?"

He shrugged. "I dunno for sure what it is. They think Echidna's behind it, but..." he trailed off, thinking about how Chiron hadn't been one hundred percent sure. It would be up to Xander to find out, as if the army itself wasn't trouble enough. "There's an army of hundreds of metal creatures comin' here. I don't know who or how or why; I'm s'posed'ta figure it out and stop it."

"Listen, Xander." She waited until she had his full attention to continue. "You will survive it. You simply require a good team." She broke eye contact. "You already have yourself to do the thinking, but you lack brute strength- not to offend. So who can you think of that fits that bill?" She arched her eyebrow knowledgably. "She almost took down your entire team in Capture the Flag, brought you to your knees, etcetera, etcetera…"

Xander blinked once. How could he, a son of Athena, have been so stupid? His face broke into a wide smile. "You're a genius," he whispered, still in disbelief. Xander turned and began to sprint toward the armory, turning his head when he was a few feet away. "Come on!" he shouted.

He ran into the practice area, knowing that Dani often practiced there late in the evening when not many people were around. Sure enough, she was showing a young boy from Demeter's cabin the proper way to disarm someone. The boy looked less tired than Dani was annoyed.

"You really think that stance is going to work?" She was circling the boy, who had his sword drawn. She kicked out, knocking the boy over. She promptly threw her foot onto his chest in victory. "Keep working on it. Go. Get some sleep."

The boy jumped up eagerly and ran toward the exit. He slowed down considerably as his eyes passed over Xander and Rose, but he evidently decided that it was better to run faster.

"So, I have to ask," Dani began flatly as she packed up her weapons. "Are you always that bad at Capture the Flag, or was today just a special occasion? Because killing someone doesn't make up for how bad your team sucked out there." Rose sucked in a sharp breath, but his thoughts were limited to the incredible girl challenging him.

Xander stepped forward and took in her appearance. She was still as pretty as the first day he saw her, but she had fresh bruises and cuts from Capture the Flag earlier that only highlighted how dark she looked.

"Uh... no. I uh... I mean..." Xander flubbed in front of her.

Dani rolled her eyes. "Look, was there a reason you came here? Or do I need to just hurt you?"

"I got a quest," Xander blurted out, "and I want ya to join me."

Dani stopped talking. Her ordinarily stony expression turned to one of genuine curiosity and disbelief. "A quest?"

"Yeah. There's an army of metal creatures comin' here, lead by Echi-"

"They gave _you_ a quest?" Dani cut him off with a scoff. "Say no more. When do you leave?"

Xander stood there, dumbstruck. "Uh, tomorrow. Look, are ya sure ya want to come? It's gonna to be real dangerous." He wanted her to come, of course, but it felt she was jumping into things too soon. He wanted her to know the cons.

Dani's mouth bent into a wry grin as she sheathed her last knife and began to walk out. "Doesn't look like I have a choice. If I don't come, you'll be dead for sure." She patted Xander's cheek as she walked out. "And what fun are those odds?"

"That went smoothly," Rose commented as soon as Dani had left the premises. Her lilting voice threaded the air. "You have things to think about, so if you will excuse me…Good night, Xander."

"Wait," Xander called. "Would ya, um, like to come too?" he asked awkwardly.

Rose looked startled. "Me? You met me yesterday and I do not believe that killing someone is the best first impression I could have made."

"I agree," Xander replied, "but honestly, who else is gonna look out for me like that?" If Rose said he was being impulsive, he would refute the claim. Xander had thought about asking the redhead for a while, and it eventually seemed obvious. He grinned sheepishly and shrugged. "It's okay if ya say no."

Her expression changed from incredulous to wondering. She beamed. "Yes, I may as well tag along." She turned to leave but stopped in her tracks and spun around again. "Xander? Can we go by sea? I have always wanted to go on a journey on a ship like Jason's," she asked tentatively.

"Yeah, why not?" Xander decided with a laugh. "I'll ask Chiron." As the boy happily agreed to Rose's idea, he couldn't help but wonder if Dani was impressed by boats.

**~O~O~O~**

**Okay, so by now you have probably figured out our most important change- Rose's entire character. No worries, it'll get more obvious. I****t had to be done. I (Monica) came to the point of writing her derogatory letters…**

** ~Rachel and Monica**


	9. Chapter Eight

**Chapter 8**

Xander had never gotten to experience the typical dreams of typical teenagers. There were no pants-less public appearances or impossibly high falls for him. He either didn't have dreams, or they were... unpleasant.

No exceptions.

He was in a junkyard. Various objects jutted out from large piles that seemed even more dangerous in the early morning light. He couldn't help but follow behind three large people who in turn were following a scrawny man with extremely large earlobes.

"Yeah, so, this is pretty much where all the metal goes, you know. Just, like, around here," the scrawny man told the others between yawns. "What is it you need all this, like, uh, metal for?"

The three people were quite tall and stocky; each one standing alone would be menacing. The creature in the middle was a plump yet muscular woman with cropped ginger hair. She was flanked on either side by identical male body builders with long dreadlocks. The woman was the one who responded. "We're artists, Mr. Rattigan," she said in a voice like a chain smoker's. "It's for a sculpture."

"That's cool," Mr. Rattigan replied with no enthusiasm whatsoever. "Just, uh, come find me if you need any help."

The junk dealer began to walk away when the two body builders hoisted him up by the arms. They carried him over to the woman, completely ignoring his struggles.

Without a single word, the large woman extended her arm- but it wasn't an arm anymore. It had morphed into a steel blade that swiftly impaled the man .

The body builders threw Mr. Rattigan's body into one of the large stacks of junk and the woman began prying large sheets of metal out from the piles. "Act quickly," she commanded. "We shouldn't have to dispose of more witnesses."

The dreadlock guys rushed to her side and started yanking out gears, wire, and old sheets of metal from cars and machines. Most were dull, steel or iron, but some glowed bronze. Sheets of celestial bronze.

"Master wants fifty more by tonight." said the woman.

"Fifty?" One of the men shouted in disbelief.

"Yes," the woman answered, "the Master wants to be prepared for the group of heroes on their quest."

The man let out an enraged snarl that sounded like a car engine revving up. He pulled out another sheet of metal angrily. "Is the Master even sure they'll come to Cambridge?"

"Apparently," Said the other man. "It shouldn't make a difference, though. We'll be at Camp Half-Blood within twelve days at full strength. Nothing they do will matter by then."

"But they can't find our camp," the first man insisted. "The museum warehouse is too well-hidden, and we've got it so well guarded-"

The man was cut off by a forceful voice that seemed to emanate from the air itself. "There is a presence," the voice boomed. "Find it and execute it. Now!"

The three large creatures began to race around, tossing parts about in a desperate attempt to look for the intruder. Xander was trapped out in the open of his own dream as he searched for a place he could run or hide. It seemed as though the people couldn't see him, but the voice knew where he was- he could feel it.

Xander walked backwards carefully, trying to be quiet, but was stopped when two hands thrust down on his shoulders. They were cold, metal, and inescapable.

"End him! Now!" The booming voice yelled again.

The woman sprinted up to where Xander was being held, somehow able to see him with her cold gold eyes. Her hand morphed into a sword once again and it grew longer as she held it to Xander's neck. Her face changed into something monstrous.

Xander screamed as the sword pressed into his skin at a torturously slow rate. He couldn't move. He couldn't fight. His voice was even leaving him. He could barely hear himself when he jolted up from his dream, head spinning, lungs barely grasping the air as if through a straw. He was drenched in sweat and his heart nearly pounded out of his chest. Worse yet, when his fingers shakily touched his neck, they came away with drops of blood.

Xander laid his head back down with open eyes. _Who needs sleep anyway?_

__**~O~O~O~**

**That's right, Xander. Sleep is for squares! In fact, long-term insomnia is the third parent of the next chapter…**

**~Monica and Rachel**


	10. Chapter Nine

**Chapter 9**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, we'd better just get this out of the way. All references to other fandoms are written by us, but said fandoms are not our possessions. We merely hunch our emaciated, balding forms over the Precious…es…**

**~O~O~O~**

Chiron ran down the list, "There's a supply of ambrosia and nectar, a few extra weapons, and some beef jerky. In case anything goes wrong, the boater's manual is under the seat. There are twenty drachmas in a bag by the dining room. Do you have any questions?"

"No sir. I think I got it." Xander answered groggily. The night before had been fitful, to say the least. He'd been tired, but he'd refused to go back to sleep.

"Are you alright?" Chiron asked. Xander could see him peering at the cut on his neck. To avoid the issue, Xander turned and hoisted his backpack onto his shoulder.

"Yessir. I'm doin' fine," Xander replied, trying to sound more awake than he felt. "Thank ya for everythin'. I won't let ya down." He turned and climbed onto the small yacht Chiron had given him: _The Defender_.

All of Athena's cabin, as well as kids from an assortment of cabins, had come to see them off. Henry was jumping and screaming his goodbyes at the front while the rest waved and cheered them off.

Xander stepped toward the door to the inside of the yacht where Dani and Rose were standing. He attempted to stifle a yawn. "Ya ready?"

Rose nodded. Dani, however, crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side. "It's strange," she mused, "that you look even closer to death today. What happened to you?"

Xander rubbed the back of his neck, his hand passing over the cut. "I just...uh...had some trouble sleepin'."

"I'll say." Dani laughed. Xander rubbed his eyes and went to the bridge.

The campers below released the boat's docking ropes. "And…we're off!" He set the ship on a super special 'Follow the River' setting and returned to the two girls.

BOOM! CRASH! SMACK!

"What in Hades is all that?" Dani huffed. Rose had a knife in hand.

The source of the noise was a barrel. A cackling barrel, to be exact. Suddenly, its top popped off and out tumbled…

"Oh, good gods. It would be you, Willard," Dani remarked in blatant disgust.

"What a night! Did you know that pegasi are ticklish? Man, those guys are FUNNY. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with the Party Ponies. Something about Las Vegas. Or maybe it was Barcelona. Who cares? They all have drinking songs.

_Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable.__  
><em>_Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table. ..__  
><em>_David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.__  
><em>_And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.__  
><em>_There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach 'ya 'bout the raising of the wrist.__  
><em>_Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.__  
><em>_John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, after half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.__  
><em>_Plato, they say, could stick it away, half a crate of whiskey every day!__  
><em>_Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,__  
><em>_And Hobbes was fond of his Dram.__  
><em>_And René Descartes was a drunken fart:__  
><em>_"I drink, therefore I am."__  
><em>_Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;__  
><em>_A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed._

He fell over backwards with a hiccup. "Hey, why is the ground moving? What a hangover…" Willard jerked himself to his feet and stumbled over to the side of the ship, retching. "Anyone have some share-able ambrosia?"

Xander stood before the sight of Willard, unsure what to do. He seemed so... pathetic. He sighed, digging inside his backpack for the container.

"What are you doing?" Dani questioned, slapping Xander's hand away. "Don't you dare give him any of that! Throw him off the boat or something!"

But Xander began to think. "'The last member of the party is more than he claims to be,'" he mumbled to himself. It couldn't mean Willard... could it? A group of four instead of three? Could Willard actually be an asset? It seemed wrong, and yet it also seemed probable. But he wouldn't be able to get an actual confirmation on the meaning of the prophecy. He just had to decide.

Xander gently pushed past Dani and stepped closer to Willard, whose breath smelled strongly of alcohol. "Here," he said, handing over the container.

He licked his lips. "Some people prefer black coffee, but I say this stuff does the trick every time." His hand shook as he lifted a golden square to his mouth and swallowed it whole. "WOO! Better than shots!" He stood and brushed himself off. "Now, would any of you kids kindly tell me why we're on a boat without chaperones? Is this a get-together that may not be totally legal? Or is it New Year's already and I just blacked out through the past eight months?"

Athena's son sighed. "We're on a quest," he began. He swallowed hard, looking into Willard's eyes and praying he was right, "and now, so are you."

Xander's collar was yanked from behind and he quickly found himself mere millimeters away from Dani's face. Her eyes were those of a killer. "All right. I'm okay with your little boy scout act to help out the drunk, but I am definitely _not_ okay with you inviting him along. I'm putting my life on the line for you, and inviting him along is just asking for trouble. Do you really want more trouble, _Boy Scout_? Because you're already in pretty deep," she hissed at him, her grip on his shirt tight with fury.

Two small hands shoved them apart with surprising force. "Dani, calm down," Rose soothed. "Listen first, act later."

"Hang on, hold it! Who says I _want _to go on your silly little quest? Who says I want to be a pawn in the gods' petty wars? I'll be going now, if you don't mind, because _I_ value my life more than my pride." Willard ambled toward the side of the ship and started climbing over the side.

Xander jogged after Willard, ignoring Dani's glare.

He grabbed Willard's arm. "What are ya gonna to do, swim back to camp? Look, I don't really want this quest either, but we don't have a choice if we want to live. I'm pretty sure my prophecy was talking about you, and, well, that means I need ya to suck it up and help me save...um, everyone."

Willard sighed. "You can't save everyone, kid. Only yourself, if you're lucky." He paused and stared at nothing for a moment. "But you're right! I don't want to go for a swim in this water. It's been a long morning of near-sobriety, and it's about time I cure that." He pulled a metal canteen from his sleeve with a shaking hand and drew a long pull from it. He smacked his lips. "Ah, piss of the gods. Worse going down than coming up, that's the stuff."

Xander's frustration mounted as the boy drank in front of him, as he gave up on trying to save hundreds of lives. "Dani's right," he said angrily. "You really are disgusting." And with an impulsive shove, Willard fell off the side of the boat. Rose gasped. Dani laughed. Willard's head bobbed to the surface and spewed salty water.

"Xander," Rose reprimanded gently, "throwing someone over the side of the boat does not typically sway them to your cause."

Xander sighed. He could blame the quest, Crofter's death, or his life in general for the spontaneous action, but that didn't give him the right to take it out on another demigod- drunk or not. She was right. "Fine," he answered dejectedly, a bit embarrassed. Xander leaned over the side of the boat and extended an arm to Willard to pull him back up.

The sober drunk shook like a wet dog and stood, poised for battle. "Disgusting, am I?" He growled and charged.

Xander kneed him in the stomach, but Willard looked up at him and smiled toothily. "Gotcha," he said, and suddenly Xander was flipping through the air. He almost fell over the edge when a strong hand grabbed his ankle. "Kid, I'm not even mad about the insult. I've heard plenty of those before. What gets me is that you made me spill my last drink!" Willard gripped his shoulder, spun him right-side-up, and used a roundhouse kick to send him across the deck.

The next coherent moment Xander for which was present involved hanging upside-down from the yacht's flagpole with little stars swirling in his vision. Unfortunately, he was still aware of just how much his body ached. His head felt like it had been split in half and he found it painful to breathe. With all of the effort he could muster, Xander found what was keeping him in the air: his ankles were tied into the flag's rope work.

As he tried to lean up to untie them, pain shot through his chest. He quickly stopped trying to move, emitting a grunt of pain in the process. When he bit his lip to keep from crying out, he tasted the metallic tang of blood enter his mouth. Xander moved his hands to his back, expecting to find his backpack and sword, but felt only the flagpole. He was completely and utterly stuck.

He dangled there for a moment before the sounds of the others' voices began to reach him.

"Is he hurt?" Rose asked Willard.

"No worries. Most people can't feel a thing when they're unconscious. Not even black eyes," Willard said flippantly.

"A black eye!"

"It's nothing compared to the pain I'll be feeling if we don't get to shore soon. That son-of-a-god tossed my truest love into Poseidon's hands!"

Dani looked between the two bitterly and groaned. "Gods, chill out! This will be a learning experience for our dear Xander," she said in mock sweetness. "And Willard? I intend to laugh hysterically at your pain," she told him seriously.

"You don't want me on board, anyway. Why not just drop me off?"

Dani opened her mouth as if to berate Willard, but something more important claimed her short attention span. Her mouth closed and she began to shake. Laughter poured out of her as she stared at Xander. It wasn't even a cold, dark laugh. No, she was giggling like it was the most hilarious joke she'd ever heard.

"Come on, now, My Little Pony underwear isn't _that_ funny. Give the kid a break," Willard smirked.

Xander rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm sorry. Can somebody please get me down now?" he yelled.

Dani grinned mischievously as she climbed up the ropes, motioning for the others not to follow. She crouched when she reached Xander, looking at him with a mixture of awe and horror.

"Dang, Willard," she called down, "you really hit him hard." Dani smirked to hide her giggles and continued to stare at Xander, who glared back at her irately. A poke sent him swinging back and forth on the sea breeze.

"Really, Dani? Really?" Xander deadpanned.

Willard hooted, "Looks like this trip might be fun after all!"

**~O~O~O~**

**JOY JOY JOY JOY JOY JOY JOY. *tattoos Willard's face on arm* (Obsessed, much? -Rachel)**

** ~Monica**

**Gods, I love humiliating Xander. (Sadistic, much? -Monica)**

** ~Rachel**


	11. Chapter Ten

**Chapter 10**

Xander sat grumpily in the corner of the living room on the yacht, skimming one of his Ancient Greek books. His eyes continually darted around the room and rested on the others, who kept glancing at him when they thought he wouldn't notice. It had already been a day and a half of eerie silence. Rose didn't talk much, it seemed, and Willard had grown progressively worse as his withdrawal symptoms increased. Dani insisted on glancing at him furtively and smirking.

"Do you have somethin' to say?" Xander asked, irritated.

Dani shrugged. "No, I just think that your black eye is coming along nicely."

Xander groaned and shoved his nose back into his book, grumbling.

Rose tilted her head. "Storm," she whispered. Thunder rang out and the boat tumbled over a high wave.

"The gods were supposed to protect us on this trip, right?" Willard grumbled over the din. "Fat lot of good they are!"

Xander put his book down and grabbed his sword. "Somethin' ain't right. I'm gonna go check it out. Ya'll wanna join me?"

"Pass," Dani responded. Her voice was calm but her hands gripped her seat tightly. "I'm not a fan of big waves, and I don't think that one is going to be much help," she said, gesturing toward Willard.

The older boy rocked back and forth on the floor in the fetal position, in sync with the boat's movement. His expression was pained. "This…sucks…" he moaned.

"I do not want to say it, but he needs something to drink," Rose murmured, pity in her eyes. She blinked and returned her attention to Xander. "Yes, I can help."

The two walked up the stairs to the deck and were met by a terrible sight. Lightning flashed across a dark sky. Waves crashed into the side of the yacht and threw it back and forth. Xander gripped the doorframe and inspected the boat. Despite the battering ram of a storm, it seemed relatively unharmed.

_What the-? _A glimmer of metal hinted at the edge of Xander's vision.

"Rose," Xander screamed over the howling winds, "there's somethin' out there!"

That's when he saw it. Out from the cover of obscuring clouds emerged an enormous flying dragon. Its wings spread out as wide as the entire ship and its tail was lengthened by some large spikes protruding from it. As the creature came closer, Xander could see that the entire thing was compiled of assorted metals and gears bonded together by green smoke. Its maw was made up of a deadly assortment of sharp shards of metal and glass. Its eyes were beady and glowed gold. It landed on the boat's helm with a jolt that rocked the entire ship and knocked Xander and Rose off their feet.

"A scout," she sighed. "So, son of Athena, what is our battle strategy?"

"Poseidon must be trying to help us with the storm. Getting this thing in the water is going to be our best bet," Xander told Rose as he stood and drew his sword. "Get to higher ground so you can get a better shot. I'm going to see if I can find a weak spot. If we can't kill it, we need to get the others and jump overboard."

The mechanical dragon turned its head toward the two, emitted a terrible shriek, and at that moment Xander knew. He could see the weak spot.

The monster's gold eyes locked onto Xander, thrust its metallic head toward him, and gnashed its blood-stained teeth. "For your sake, I sure hope those little snacks you had weren't of the human sort." He dove to the side to avoid the monster's sharp jaws and jumped onto one of its legs. If he could just use the scales to climb onto its back...

The dragon was not fond of the boy hanging on its leg, so it turned in circles and bit at Xander in an effort to dislodge him. His hands nearly slipped off of the rain-soaked metal. He gritted his teeth and clung the scales so tightly that they dug into his skin. As he tried to move up the side of the monster, Xander almost didn't notice the dragon's spike rimmed tail whipping toward his face at an alarming speed. At the last moment, Xander realized that a very painful death was just feet from his face and with a literal leap of faith he jumped. He just barely grabbed onto the spikes protruding from the top of the monster's back.

Xander sat up and dug his heels into the machine's sides and managed to balance as the dragon thrashed madly. The dragon flapped its wings, levitated for a few moments, and slammed back down in a frenzy. It made Xander wish he had paid attention to the rodeos he'd been dragged to as a kid. _Maybe then I'd know what I'm doin'_. Xander ducked as the thing's mace of a tail came swinging back around again and almost impaled him.

By squinting through the thickening rain, Xander could just barely make out Rose's lithe figure near the top of the ship's ropes. She was shooting arrows with frightening accuracy toward the dragon's eyes.

"Get him to move his neck!" Xander screamed to overcome the bellowing of the dragon. Another jerk made him realize just how little time he had.

An arrow zoomed through Xander's line of sight; it caused the dragon to throw his head to the side. And there it was. When the dragon-like creature turned its neck, it revealed a gap in its scaly armor. Filled with hope, he drew his sword and plunged it into the chink.

At first, there was only the excruciating sound of metal grinding against metal, but then Xander felt the sword hit something different. Something soft. Something…biotic.

The monster began to shake; the dark green smoke that must have held it together had disappeared. With nothing to hold the thing together, it began to break into pieces and disintegrate. Any armor that remained intact crashed into the boat or sea.

Xander withdrew his sword from the chink and mused at what could have been so essential to the creature's makeup that it could cause it to fall apart.

"Get off the dragon, get off the dragon," Xander urged himself in a whisper. He could feel the neck, head, and body separating from each other. The beast let out a final, echoing shriek. Before he could jump off, the section of back that he sat on disconnected from the rest of the crumbling dragon. Gravity sent Xander hurtling toward the water at what would be a very unpleasant landing speed.

He hit the water feet-first. Bubbles from the falling debris obscured his vision. Thankfully, Poseidon's raging ocean stopped churning as soon as he hit the water. Xander fought his way up to the surface and emerged with burning lungs.

He'd come up just in time to see the last of the dragon tumble off of the boat, taking a chunk of the helm with it. Bits of the destroyed creature swirled toward a whirlpool far from Xander and the boat. He watched as the water tornado grew stronger and pulled the scraps of junk metal into the depths of the ocean.

A life preserver slapped the water in front of him. He held on with exhausted muscles as it tugged him back up onto the yacht. Rose dropped the rope she'd used to pull him aboard. "Shall we inform the others now, Captain?" At that moment, he knew she trusted him. He didn't know how, but he felt it in her gaze. It was a bit of a rush, and Xander wondered if Dani trusted him, too. Somehow, he doubted it.

"I think we ought to," he responded. Then he noticed that their yacht was slowly sinking. The beast had ripped half of it to bits, so he supposed it stood to reason. Still, it was so _new_. He sighed, "It doesn't look like the boat is going to last much longer. I'll get the life raft ready."

As Xander jogged to the side of the boat to prepare the escape, his mind wandered. It would only get harder. If Echidna had any kind of battle strategy, she would use the defeat to reinforce her army. The monsters would get swifter, stronger, and wholly more lethal. Xander's group of demigods couldn't afford to leave anything else to chance. _The war hasn't even begun and our boat already bit it. Great._

**~O~O~O~**_  
><em>

**We destroyed a boat. Bucket list item achieved.**

**~Rachel and Monica**


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter 11**

After they'd managed to drag Willard- who'd gotten to be a nervous wreck- into the lifeboat, row to shore, and become terribly lost, the group found themselves stuck by the coast. Night was only an hour or so away and they were stranded. So, they did the logical thing went to the one place that would always offer help to the weary traveler: a gas station.

The middle aged man behind the counter looked at the four teens with apprehension. His eyes lingered over Willard, who looked close to a mental breakdown. "Uh, can I help you?"

"Yeah," Xander walked up to the counter. He was slightly irritated from his travels so far and couldn't keep it out of his tone. "Where are we?"

The short, rotund man appeared even more perplexed after the question was asked. "Uh, Duxbury, Massachusetts."

"Duxbury," Dani repeated blankly from where she stood by the chips, "I think I know where we are now."

"You do?" He was surprised. "Where are we?"

Her eyes were shadowed by an impassive darkness for a moment. "Nowhere fun," Dani scoffed. "What I don't know, Cowboy, is where the heck we're actually _going_."

"Cambridge."

Dani asked critically, "Cambridge? Why do you think Echidna is in Cambridge?"

"I, uh…" Xander mumbled. He didn't want to seem odd because he had learned it in his dream.

"A man's dreams are the gateway to his soul," Rose murmured, shrugged, and headed to the food aisle. Xander's eyes widened. _What is she, a mind reader?_

Dani rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, speak in riddles." She had apparently dropped the subject, though, so Athena's son was grateful.

Xander returned his attention to the register. "Sir, we'd-" He groaned. Willard was at the counter, speaking smoothly to the dull-eyed clerk in a British accent.

"I'm in a real fix, you understand. There's a posh bar just down the street with better quality stock, but I thought I would grace your humble little rest stop with my purchases. Of course, if you aren't willing to lower the price a bit for a Queen's knight…" The short man stammered his apologies and waddled quickly about the store. He returned with arms full of alcohol.

"Which is your preference, sir?" It was almost creepy how eager he was to give a teenage boy alcohol.

Willard drummed his fingers and considered. "I'd like to sample a couple of those ales." He grabbed a can from a six-pack and downed it in half a minute. Then another, and another, and another… Xander watched the whole thing with a dropped jaw. "Good groundling. My apologies, I don't believe that this…_water_ is to my tastes." Willard's words had begun to slur after gods knew how many beer cans, though it was significantly less prominent than usual. "May I have the great honor of buying _this_ deep-country swill, or shall I leave you penniless in favor of your competition on the other block?" The clerk nodded emphatically and handed Willard bottle after bottle of Strawberry Hill, which the seventeen-year-old carefully tucked into his backpack until it was full to bursting.

"How are you gonna pay for all this?" Xander hissed under his breath.

"Watch and learn, my fine fellow." Athena's son decided then and there that Willard's grin was one of the scariest things he'd ever seen.

The drunkard filled a complimentary cloth sack with "swill" of a different kind. Then, for good measure, he tucked three wine bottles under his arm.

"Thank you for your business, sir. Please come again." Without slipping the cashier a single coin, Willard walked out of the store, humming.

The little man's eyes refocused and he bobbed his head at Xander. "What were you saying you needed?"

"A better teammate," Xander growled, rolling his eyes. He dug into his backpack and pulled out a small wad of wrinkled up cash. He threw down the meager amount onto the counter. "Get food," he called over his shoulder to the girls as he stormed out of the store.

Xander approached Willard, clearly irritated. "Really? A knight? In the middle of Duxbury?"

Willard overturned a bottle, shook it to make sure it was empty, pouted, and tossed it to the side. He popped the second cork. "It's a skill, mate. A game, really. If you think of it as a game, you're more sure you're less likely to lose something, right? As Nietzsche said- but what does a layman like you care what Nietzsche said? Anyway, great alcoholic, he was. Great man, I mean, great philoso- philo- ph- thinker guy dude person guy, him. Shoulda met Socrates. They'd've had a blast, the lovelies. There's a whole song about 'em, wanna hear it? No? One of those that's gotta wait till nighttime for revelry, eh?" He hooted and cackled in a slurred accent that was reminiscent of Xander's, nursing his bottle.

The fourteen-year-old leaned his head back, squeezing the bridge of his nose. _Of all of the half-bloods in the world, it had to be him._

"Look, Willard, ya can't just do…_that_ to people. Whatever _that _was. It ain't right. Not to mention ya shouldn't be drinking so much. You're, what, sixteen?" Xander bent over and counted at least seven bottles poking out of Willard's backpack and didn't even bother with whatever took space in the extra sack. "This will make you go blind!"

"Aw, you do care! Some of those are for later, Xanny. Xander Xan Xanny Xan. My soberishness from before isn't what you want, is it? No useless lump now, no no no. I'm a person again! We all deal with being- HICCUP- people, yeah? You treat your symptoms, but I have my _cure._ Works well enough- just got a few effects on the side side effects. This-" he held up his bottle- "is not an illness. Nooo plagues here. It's a- HICCUP- cure."

Because the outcome of Xander's last fight with Willard was still evident on his face, Xander determined that further argument wouldn't get him anywhere. Dani and Rose emerged from the building, their arms filled with provisions. Xander could only shoot them an exasperated look and gesture at Willard.

"Wow. That is some talented lying." Dani remarked as she surveyed the scene. "I'm actually kind of impressed."

"Yeah, he's an excellent con artist," Xander muttered sarcastically, "but he can't walk now. Not in this condition." They all ignored the "CAN TOO!" exclaimed in the background.

Dani shook her head. "We definitely don't want to walk. Cambridge is too far away. It would take too long and it's getting dark. What we really need is a..." Dani's voice trailed off as her eyes locked onto something to her right. When Xander followed her gaze he saw the object of her mischievous attentions. Parked right in front of the door was the only vehicle in the lot. "How gullible do you think that guy at the counter really is?" She asked slyly.

"No," Xander blurted. He could see what her plan was now. "No, no, no, no!"

"Aw, what's wrong, Cowboy?" Dani asked in a sugar-coated tone and pinched his cheek. "You didn't actually think lying and drinking were the worst someone could do, did you?"

**~O~O~O~**

**We're all caught up now! That means the fun is about to begin, because ladies and gents, you are coming to our favorite arc so far- The RV Chronicles! *rubs hands and cackles maniacally (… x2)***

**~Rachel and Monica**


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Chapter 12**

"If we're going to travel in this thing, can we at least buy some Lysol?" Dani gagged. "Scratch that- a lot of Lysol?" Rose wrinkled her nose and nodded her agreement.

The drunk sniffed multiple times and took a deep breath. "Ah, odeur de la malheureux sans-abri gros bill," Willard sighed contentedly.

"Rose, you're actually okay with this?" Xander exclaimed in disbelief. She grimaced apologetically.

"Come now, Sir Drunkard," Dani said in an exaggerated British accent. She grabbed Willard's arm and hoisted him up from the spot he'd claimed on the trashed floor, then made sure to give the fuming Xander a sly smile.

Their new personal transport came in the form of an RV that was well-equipped, roomy enough, and _very_ lived-in. The man from the gas station must have lived there in a depressed, disgusting state. They'd immediately thrown out most of the dishes because of mold buildup.

Willard, who'd persuaded the poor man to give up his home with powers only children of Dionysus possessed, had taken to decorating the place with little odds and ends he dug up from inside the grubby cashier's closet. "Spartans are good for war tactics, not for home furnishing magazine models," he warbled.

"It _could_ use curtains," Rose mused. The way she understood his ravings was beyond Athena's son.

Xander sat shotgun next to Dani, who tested the controls cluelessly. "Dang it," Dani whispered to herself; Xander felt awkward overhearing the personal criticism in her voice. With more bravado, she ordered Xander, "The controls are different; find me a manual!"

"Right," Xander replied, still angry about the felony they were committing. He dug through the junk that littered the entire floor of his seat. There were layers of half eaten Big Macs that had sprouted fur, and dozens of bank statements and unpaid bills that were disintegrating, but no manual to be found.

"Glove compartment." Dani drummed her fingers on the steering wheel nervously.

Xander threw open the glove compartment. It stunk of decay. He tossed its contents onto the floorboard and tried not to breathe. "For the love of Zeus," Xander gagged as he spotted the manual buried underneath the rotting corpse of a dead rat. He grabbed the book and slammed the compartment door.

"How do I move?" Dani snapped.

"Uh..." Xander squinted at the pages desperately. _Does that say reverse? Maybe._ "That one, I think." He pointed to a lever.

Dani pulled it and stepped on the gas. The vehicle lurched backward at a high speed before she could brake. "Turn left!" Xander shouted.

"I'm trying!" Dani growled. She floored the accelerator and brake in continuous succession. The vehicle jolted and spun wildly around the parking lot.

"Can ya actually drive?" Xander yelled over Willard's girlish screams. He couldn't help but grip his seatbelt as though it were his only chance at survival. _It prob'ly is!_

"Yes!" She retorted as her foot slammed down on the brake and nearly killed the engine. At some point, Dani gained moderate control and turned crazily onto the road. They raced away at least twenty miles faster than the speed limit.

"Oi, look! Little gas station man is doing jumping jacks! I salute your efforts toward fitness, sir!" Willard snapped to attention and saluted the now-purple cashier through the back windshield.

Rose murmured, "What an unfortunate man…" Then she took on a cooing tone, as though she were speaking to a baby. "Now, Willy, would you like to help Rosy by throwing all this trash out the window?"

"_Clean up, clean up, everybody cleeeaaan up!_" he sang in reply.

"That's littering," Xander accused under his breath.

"We already stole a vehicle, Boy Scout. Live a little!" Dani laughed and sent the vehicle in question careening even faster than before.

"We stole a car," Xander mumbled.

"Not true, Cowboy. This is an RV." Dani laughed.

"It doesn't matter! We took it! Illegally!"

Dani turned and fixed her cold eyes onto Xander. "Look, you need to stop being such a whiny boy goody-two-shoes and see the bigger picture. We're trying to save hundreds of lives, and if that means that we have to steal an RV every once in a while then you just need to face facts and deal-"

"Eyes on the road!" Xander interrupted. Dani fumbled with the wheel and removed the vehicle from the oncoming traffic. She tightened her grip and tensed up; clearly irritated, she refused to say more about the subject.

Xander unbuckled his only connection to life with shaky hands and walked cautiously to the seats around the table in the center of the RV. He put his head onto the tabletop after he pushed aside the more questionable substances, finally aware of how incredibly tired he was.

"Xander?" Rose was bent down to his eyelevel. "Would you like the bed?" _Yes, very much_, the rational part of his mind accepted graciously. He eyed the bare mattress and was glad that they had thrown the sheets out; they'd caused Xander to wonder if the conned man even knew what laundry was.

"No," he replied bluntly. "I can't sleep now." He sat up, propped his elbows up on the table, and rested his chin in hands. At her doubtful look, he made sure to keep his eyes wide and spoke in an alert tone. "See, I'm perfectly fine," he tried to convince her.

"Sleep is not a weakness. In point of fact, it is very often an asset." Something in her tone suggested understanding. He still couldn't look forward to sleep, but the logical part of his brain told him he needed it.

Xander tried to argue, but his words vocalized as a jumbled mess. He finally sighed in defeat. "Okay, look," he said quietly, "you're right and all, but I just don't think sleep is really the right thing for me." His mind flashed back to the nightmare. No way would that kind of experience energize him.

"If you do not intend to sleep, with what do you plan to fill the coming hours?" Rose asked. The effects of insomnia were no picnic, but nothing concerned him so much as avoiding the realm of dreams.

Xander shrugged. "Strategize. Research. I mean, what else am I gonna do? I need to assess the situation and determine the best possible plan by takin' into account our strengths and assets." Xander stood and paced the small area. "So what do we have to work with?"

It didn't immediately come to him. He didn't know. He didn't know much about any of the people he was going to entrust his life to. That was a problem.

"Change of plans," Xander declared. He sat back down and spoke to everyone in the van. "I think we need to talk about ourselves."

"You mean like…a sharing circle?" Rose asked incredulously.

"No, but...yeah. Look, we're going to be fightin' together, and we know nothin' 'bout each other. That's how people die." Xander defended his idea with the kind of loyalty only the most exhausted and irate of people can possess.

"First you can't steal an RV and now you want a sharing circle. How old _are_ you, Cowboy?" Dani muttered from her spot at the wheel. Xander shot her an annoyed glance and then looked between Rose and Willard.

Rose just shook her head and sank down against the wall. Willard huffed and balanced precariously on the edge of the mattress, obviously unhappy about having his super-duper-fun-bouncing-on-the-bed-time ended.

"Okay, well, we can start off easy. Um, where did you all grow up?" One brief look around the group showed that they weren't going to be first. "I guess I can start. I grew up in Kilgore, Texas."

"Yeah, there's a shock." Dani laughed.

Xander took a deep breath, letting the insult slide. "What 'bout you, Dani?" he asked calmly.

"Boston." She answered in an over-the-top accent. "Next."

Rose flashed a worried glance at Xander. "You would not be familiar with the area. It is very far away."

Xander raised his eyebrows. "Try me." He gazed expectantly back at Rose, now truly interested.

"Well…It is just a little province in Greece. Mycenae." The name dripped, thickly accented, from her lips. Yet, her eyes had darkened like a stormy night as though she wasn't pleased to say it.

Xander had no idea where in Greece the city was located, but the name sounded familiar. "Isn't that the place King Agamemnon of the Trojan War came from?" He was almost sure of it. But, because of the flash of fear that twisted Rose's expression for a nanosecond, he dropped it.

"And, uh, you, Willard?" he asked.

"MICKEY MOUSE!" The boy pumped both fists in the air, as though to praise his ability to unnecessarily produce gratuitous volume.

"Okay, then. Not sure if that actually means something or not, but okay."

"Florida?" Rose suggested quietly. Willard nodded and puffed up his chest proudly. _At least someone understands him._

Xander looked out the window at the starry sky. "Pull over for the night, Dani. I don't think you should drive in the dark," he said. _I value my life._

Dani swerved into a Wal-Mart parking lot and drove at a snail's pace until she found a spot that pleased her. Xander asked another question. "Um, family. What's your family like?"

There was absolute silence inside the vehicle. Xander could actually hear the crickets chirping. "Well, uh, I lived with my dad. He works in real estate. He's real into antiques and history, which I s'pose is what my mom liked about him. No siblings. Uh... my grandmother lives nearby and visits a lot. Makes good cookies. Yeah. Real good. I reckon that's all." He told the others blandly. _Except Cecelia_, he considered, but if he was avoiding sleep to keep from getting stressed out, then there was no good reason to bring up that woman. She made him more stressed than any nightmare could.

Xander shut his mouth and looked around at the others. Crickets still chirped, but now there was another noise to add to the hush of tense refusal. Willard had fallen asleep and snored loudly. A puddle of drool already covered one side of his face.

Xander nodded at Willard, disenchanted. "To be expected." He gestured to Rose. "Your turn."

"I left home early…and spent a few years with my sisters." She clenched her fists in her lap and kept her eyes downcast.

He moved on to Dani. She was picking over to the bags of food they'd bought at the gas station. When she saw Xander looking at her, she promptly averted her gaze.

"Mother. Half brother." She answered tensely.

"Oh, come on," Xander groaned. "These are basic questions. Can't you two be any more specific?"

"Momma was a hippie!" Willard popped upright and exclaimed joyously, only to fall over on his face again.

"Ordinarily I would doubt someone if they said that, but with Willard... it just fits." Dani declared as she unwrapped a pre-cooked Hot Pocket.

_No kidding_. "Look, I'm serious! Can't any of you elaborate? Dani, how old is your half-brother? And Rose, how many sisters? Willard...well, I don't know what else to ask you...Oh."

"We all have reasons for our actions." Rose's desperation made him wonder what she was trying to hide.

Xander shifted uncomfortably and tried to take on a more reassuring tone. "Look, I get that. But I don't know anything about you and I'm supposed to trust you all when we're fighting for our lives? I mean, at first glance you don't exactly seem like the most trustworthy of people." The words slipped from his mouth as though someone else had spoken them. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that," Xander tried to cover.

"No, no. It's fine, Cowboy. Why don't you elaborate on how untrustworthy we are?" Dani retorted acidly with shrewd eyes.

Xander sensed the oncoming conflict. He stood up and raised his eyebrows. "Okay, fine. He's a drunk, she killed someone," he stated, pointing to Willard and then Rose in turn, "and _you _couldn't be a decent person to save your life."

Dani stormed over to Xander and put her face mere inches in front of his. "If you think we're such terrible people, why the heck did you pick us for your stupid quest?" she exclaimed.

"Obviously because of your charming personality," Xander replied sarcastically.

"I ought to make your eyes match, Cowboy. You would make a great raccoon."

"Go ahead! It couldn't make me look any worse than the dead people you hang out with."

"Maybe you can join them!"

"Try it, I-"

"ENOUGH! Gods, you two are worse than Achilles in a blood rage!" Rose had a small hand planted firmly on each of them, pushing them apart. Her uncharacteristically loud outburst shocked him, but not quite as much as his own actions.

Xander felt his cheeks start to burn. _What am I _doing_?_ His eyes shifted awkwardly away from Dani to the ground.

"Achilles? How the heck do you know what Achilles was like?" Dani asked apprehensively. "Unless...My gods. You're a Hunter." Dani stared at Rose for a moment as if the truth would appear on her face. Rose slapped a hand over her mouth and burned a deep red. "Achilles? Really? Did you know about this?" She asked, turning back toward Xander accusingly.

"Um...kinda." Xander answered in a small voice.

"Unbelievable. How old _are_ you?" Dani questioned as she whipped her head back around to Rose.

The petite ginger sighed and sank back down against the wall. "Do you really need to know?" At Dani's glare, she buried her face in her hands. "Three thousand one hundred and eighty years old, approximately. It is hard to remember."

Dani sucked in her breath and crossed her arms over her chest. After a moment of pained silence she rolled her eyes and stomped over to the door of the RV. "I need some air. This place smells worse than the Underworld." With one last menacing glare directed at Xander, Dani walked out and slammed the door behind her.

Xander exhaled a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and motioned to Rose apologetically. "Look, Rose," he began, ashamed. "What I said, I, um, well, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean it." He grimaced as he looked at the girl, sure that she was unhappy with him.

"It does not matter." Her voice was quiet, as per usual, but now it had a rough edge to it. Rose paused; she must have seen the disbelief in his eyes. "It hurts, but I should have known. Still, I thought that…perhaps…" She laughed self-deprecatingly and looked up at him with sorrowful blue eyes. He found he couldn't meet them.

Xander's heart sank to his stomach, creating an uncomfortable, sick feeling. He sighed and trudged through the door of the RV. "I'm still sorry," he mumbled on his way out, not sure if Rose even cared enough to listen to him. _Prob'ly not._

The night air was unusually chilly. Xander crouched down on the small step by the door and watched the Wal-Mart shoppers rush around the parking lot before it occurred to him that someone was beside him. As if she had appeared straight out of thin air, Dani was beside him, lazily flicking a cigarette lighter on and off.

"It has occurred to me that threatening to kill you may have offended you. So, for that, I guess I'm sorry," Dani told him with an air of boredom.

A small smirk flashed on Xander's face. "It's alright. I was a much bigger jerk. So, I'm sorry."

Dani nodded. "Yeah, you were. Nevertheless, I accept your apology." She looked down at Xander and raised an eyebrow. "You really do look terrible."

He shrugged, "Whaddaya expect? Rose hates me and I'm an idiot."

Dani rolled her eyes again and pursed her lips. "She doesn't hate you. That girl doesn't have a spiteful bone in her body. As for your being an idiot... well, I won't argue with you there." She gave a short laugh before looking right at Xander, less angry then before. "You really do need sleep. I mean that. You act like me when you're tired."

"Look, I agree, but ya don't-"

"Demigod nightmares?" Dani asked. "By the look on your face, I'm assuming that's a yes. Chill out, they happen to everyone."

Xander was taken aback. "You get them?"

Dani nodded as if it was no big deal. "Yeah. Just deal with them. You can't avoid sleep forever."

Xander nodded, knowing that he couldn't, even if he wanted to. "Do _you _hate me?" He asked quietly, still feeling ill over the things he had said.

Dani scoffed. "Only if you keep trying to get involved in my personal life."

Xander grinned at her. She was actually pretty when she wasn't trying to kill anybody. Scratch that. She was always pretty, especially when she was trying to kill him. With a final flip of her lighter, Dani stepped behind Xander and opened the door.

"Now, listen to the three thousand year old chick and get some sleep. Otherwise, I will probably have to kill you, and then I would have to deal with your ghost bothering me." With that, she stepped into the RV and left Xander alone outside.

He breathed deeply, slumped against the van, and closed his eyes. _Sleep, huh…?_

**~O~O~O~**

**You're still reading? Gee, you guys really ought to get standards- or get ready for some eye-searing, brain-melting AWESOME, because the Daleks are coming- wait, what? That just slipped out...We meant to say the super-duper, extra fantastic, creatively named Metalliks! Tune in…er…sometime?**

**Best wishes!**

** ~Rachel and Monica**


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter 13**

A door cracked sharply on the back of his head was definitely not the best way Xander had ever been woken up, but if he were perfectly honest, it also didn't rank among the worst.

"What the heck?" he exclaimed, turning and rubbing the back of his head.

"Look, when I told you to get some sleep, I kind of figured you would come inside. I didn't actually think you would fall asleep on the porch of a beat up RV." Dani responded.

"For the record, you never specified," Xander said gruffly as he stood up and brushed himself off.

"I thought that a son of Athena would be wise enough to know what I meant. I obviously failed to consider your thick-headedness, Cowboy." She pushed him playfully. "Get inside before I decide to drive off without you!" With that, she promptly slammed the door in his face.

Xander groaned and pulled the door open. It still stunk, but the Lysol had managed to make the air breathable. _May as well make an entrance_, he thought. Upon taking his first step back into the vehicle, he began to speak.

"Okay. First off, I'm sorry. Second, we need to get goin', 'cause thirdly- and I only say this 'cause I believe in bein' a realist- the army is massive, powerful, and movin' fast. We need to be quicker'an 'em. So...any questions?"

"Gee, and I thought I was negative." Dani muttered.

"Wait a minute," Xander asked, confused. "Where's Rose?"

Dani smirked. "She went out to go scout the area. I told her that all she's going to find are crazy Wal-Mart bargain shoppers and Bostonians, but she didn't listen to me. Must be a Hunter thing."

"Oh gods," Xander moaned. "Is she still mad at me?"

"Well, because I believe in being a realist," Dani began mockingly, "I'm going to assume that's a 'yes'. You were a real jerk. Although on her way out she didn't intentionally hit you with the door, so I guess you have that going for you."

Xander nodded. "Wonderful. Does this mean I actually need to start celebrating if someone doesn't want to cause me physical harm?"

"Probably wouldn't be a bad idea."

He sighed. Xander didn't know what else he could do or say to prove to Rose that he was genuinely sorry. He hoped it would come to him or that Rose would be able to forgive him, but the sick feeling knotted in his stomach told him that it was a long shot.

"At least _he_ doesn't want to hurt me right now." Xander said, indicating toward Willard, who was sprawled wildly on the mattress.

"He's asleep. That doesn't count." Dani responded blandly. She popped a piece of beef jerky into her mouth and shifted the bag toward Xander as a peace offering.

"Thanks," he responded, taking a piece. "So whaddaya think she'll do when she gets back?"

Dani pursed her lips and lowered her eyebrows. "Not sure, exactly. But, lucky for me, it doesn't look like I have to guess. I get to watch." Sure enough, a familiar head of red hair bobbed by the window. Xander swallowed hard. "Good luck, Cowboy." Dani elbowed Xander in the side before she pushed him out of the booth onto his feet.

"We should get a dog. Or a cat," Rose announced. She blinked owlishly at them.

Dani grinned faintly. "Gee, why don't we just stop at Pets Mart and get one? Never mind the impending destruction of Camp Half-Blood," she said sarcastically. Rose giggled. It was odd- Xander had to wonder how she had become so cheerful- or so buddy-buddy with Dani, for that matter.

Dani's eyes flicked to meet Xander's for a brief second, and she inclined her head toward Rose. He got the message. "Look, Rose, I feel bad about last night. I'm sorry." Xander glanced at Dani and took the look of disapproval she gave him into account. "_Real_ sorry." The addition lightened Dani's expression.

Rose shook her head woefully. "There is only one way you can possibly hope to make up for such regrettable conduct. You have to buy me a pet." She broke character with another giggle, leaving Xander dumbfounded, and continued more seriously. "Truly, Xander, I do not blame you. You both had every right to react the way you did; my age is not an easy concept to wrap one's mind around." Her features softened as she was overcome by memory. "It does not feel like it has been that long, though. A Hunter is caught in a different kind of time flow."

"Thirty-two hundred years seems like it would feel pretty long," Dani said.

Rose blushed. "I apologize. It is difficult to explain."

A loud grunt came from the corner of the room. "...Thirty-two hundred? As in, three thousand and two hundred? YEARS? Gods, I need a drink," Willard grumbled.

"Really? Never would have guessed it." Dani rolled her eyes.

"A pet, huh?" Xander asked Rose. His experiences with pets had ended in one of two ways: death or the "runaway" sob story- the poorly disguised term his dad used when he got rid of the animals to make his fiancé happy. The goldfish, the puppy, the bunny, the turtle, and his most beloved hedgehog had all vanished from his childhood, leaving Xander a bit turned off to the idea of pets. All they ever did was leave him. "I'll see what I can do," he told her, "but we really need to get goin'." He stared at Dani intently.

"What?" She snapped back at him, puzzled.

"Well, you can drive, can't ya?" Xander asked with a grin.

"Yes!" Dani shouted defensively, red-faced.

Willard, who had finally ingested enough alcohol to 'become a person,' suggested cheerily, "Oi, why don't you let the only licensed driver on this quest take the wheel?"

Xander shifted his weight awkwardly on his feet as he spoke. "Well, it's just, um, that you're, well…uh, you're-"

"It's because you're drunk," Dani interjected.

"Yeah, that." Xander finished meekly.

"How did you get a license?" Rose paled in disbelief from her spot on the cushioned bench-and-table set.

"So, what? You mean I can't do anything because I'm drunk? Like fighting, right? I kicked your butt earlier, kid, so don't talk down to me like that. Besides, I'm definitely a better driver than chicky here. Less jerking; wouldn't want to make myself nauseous," he said dryly.

Both demigods glowed scarlet. Dani adopted a menacing expression and Xander winced faintly at the memory with a hand brought unconsciously to his black eye. "Fine," he answered while walking toward the front of the RV. "You can drive. But don't drink anymore while ya do it. I don't want ya outta commission when we reach the museum," Xander told Willard on his way to shotgun. Every bit of goddess-given wisdom inside of him told Xander that he was making a mistake. _It can't be worse than Dani drivin', can it?_

Willard drank the remaining contents of his fourth bottle and then slid into his place at the wheel. He revved the engine and shouted, "LET'S RIDE!" They exited the parking lot with a swoop that didn't do much to prove Willard's point. He perpetually held his foot to the gas pedal, yet had the luck to make it through every light unscathed and- most surprisingly- almost legally. No cops stopped them, even though they always had to be at least twenty miles above the speed limit. _Children of Dionysus, eh?_

About fifteen minutes into the ride, Rose noted with a wink, "He actually is better than you, Dani. We haven't gotten whiplash yet."

The brunette girl didn't have a witty comment for once. Instead, she allowed her expression to twist maliciously and aimed a dark glare at the chipped table.

"_Hitting a nerve,_" Xander coughed, smirking. He returned his attention to Willard as the older guy wove through traffic flawlessly. It was crazy and scary and awesome. "You actually are a pretty good driver," Xander remarked in shock. It took all of his willpower not to look at the speedometer and prove himself wrong.

"Yeah, and I actually know how to use a turn signal," Willard twittered. "As long as I'm not sober, we'll be fine!"

Xander couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, just don't run into any cops. I don't think they would buy that you're better at things when you're drunk."

Willard then decided it was the perfect time to teach them his favorite drinking song. "Repeat after me: _Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable…"_

**~O~O~O~**

**Hey, guys! Guess what? The Great Escapade of Artifact-y Museum-y Destruction-o-BLAM is coming your way, and it will change your view of the Beatles forever...and ever...and ever...and EVER...and ever...**

**~Monica and Rachel**


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Chapter 14**

"Right there," Xander pointed to a spot on the road nearby Harvard's Museum of Natural History. The RV stopped without ejecting them from their seats, which was a nice change. Their vehicle's peeling paint seemed out of place compared to the university's professional air. "My gods. We're actually at Harvard," Xander breathed as he stared out the window in awe.

"Don't get too excited," Dani remarked from the table. "This place sucks, and I can only guess that it's worse now that there are monsters inside it." She had taken to tossing her lighter into the air and catching it again; her feet were, as always, propped on the table.

"Aw, come on!" Xander argued, "If this place didn't have a bloodthirsty army inside, it'd be fantastic!" He had dreamed about the Ivy League college for years. Its rumored intellect consistently intrigued him, and if he could focus on that, he felt he would be less afraid of the terrifying creatures beyond those walls.

Willard reached for another bottle. He gulped a few times before he paused to take a deep breath and cough. "WOO!" He thumped his chest like an ape and let rip a Tarzan battle cry.

Rose shook her head at his over-the-top antics and slung her quiver over her back. She opted to carry the matching silver bow. Her long red hair fell down her back in a braid. She flashed a Cheshire cat's grin, apparently happy to be on the hunt again.

Dani pocketed the lighter and pulled on an abused, worn out denim jacket, but the inside and pockets were lined with an assortment of daggers. She swung her feet to the floor. "So what's the plan, Cowboy?"

Xander grabbed his sword and opened the RV door. "Go in, get to the storage archives-that's where the army supposedly is- find Echidna, and try not to kick the bucket. The goal is to avoid alertin' the minions 'til we can eliminate Echidna. I reckon that they could be useless without her, so it'd be best not to waste our energy on em. We hafta focus on stealth." He stepped out of the RV and gathered with the others on the sidewalk.

"For the record," he continued, flicking his gaze between Dani and Willard, "that means ya don't fight anythin' that doesn't attack ya first."

"Do we have blueprints?"

Xander sighed. "I don't know where we would get 'em. They don't just have blueprints out on display for anyone to grab." His expression asked her if she had a better idea than winging it.

The former Hunter of Artemis grimaced. "If your mother possessed a grave, she would roll in it."

"Don't bring my mother into this, Rose," Xander huffed. Having a mother who was actually the goddess of wisdom had never been easy in situations without an easy answer. Everyone always expected him to come up with a solution immediately, but he was his own worst critic. It was frustrating when he couldn't think under pressure. He felt as though he owed Athena something that he couldn't ever deliver.

Xander visualized what his godly parent might say._ She would tell ya that answers come to those who seek 'em._ And then it came to him.

"Ya'll know what?" Xander locked onto his target. "I know just the way to learn where we're going."

He ran back into the RV and reemerged with a backpack in hand. "Willard, thank the gods you're a drunk," Xander laughed.

•••

It was simple. An exhausted college kid walked into the museum for his early morning shift; a boy with several bottles of alcohol had a proposition. They got along swimmingly. The student drew map on a napkin and received the bottled downfall of a high GPA.

Xander returned to the group victoriously and tossed Willard the empty backpack. "I got a map," he announced, holding up the napkin.

"That's a napkin. And it looks like it's been sneezed on," Dani commented in disgust.

"Better than dyin'," Xander replied.

Willard groused, "You pawned off my wine." Luckily, he'd kept a separate stash hidden in the RV, so he had enough to get him by for a while.

"Again," Xander answered, "it's better than dyin'."

"I can't say I agree," Willard growled.

Xander unfolded the napkin to reveal the whole map and led them to the front door of the museum. "'Sides, he actually wanted more. I had to talk him out of it. So, technically, you _could_ say thank ya." He spoke knowing full well that a 'thank you' from Willard would not be forthcoming. Xander had to admit he had taken some pleasure in getting rid of the alcohol and enjoyed rubbing it in.

"Okay, so the storage archives start in this giant back room and extend down to a basement. My guess is that most of the army is in the basement and that Echidna would prob'ly be in this security room over here." Xander pointed to a small square on the map. "That guy said nobody uses it anymore, so it seems like a logical place to hide out."

Dani leaned her head over Xander's shoulder. Their faces nearly touched. "That's almost in the very middle of the basement. How the heck do you plan to get us past all of the soldiers guarding it?"

"Um," Xander cleared his throat and inched away from Dani. His face had a scarlet hue. "Well, he said if ya go 'round this way," he pointed to a hallway on the main floor, "and then take the back stairs to the boiler room, and then travel this way, you avoid the basement and get right to the side room. So if we do that, hopefully we only have to get past a few of 'em."

Rose winced. "Your contact could have been under Echidna's employment." Her soft words were grave.

"I can't believe you gave my stuff to some monster's minion!" Willard whined.

Xander gritted his teeth. "I didn't give your stuff to a minion. He wasn't workin' with 'em. For one, he was too human in movement and mannerisms to be a monster or a machine. He also didn't give me the wrong information." Xander held the napkin-map up once more as they stepped into the museum. "See," he tried to explain by pointing, "the structure of the buildin' matches the map. Architecturally, it makes sense that the basement would be laid out like this. And of course, I was basically alone with him for, what, five minutes? If he was a bad guy, he could have at least tried to kill me once." Xander grinned as he looked between Rose and Willard. "He was perfectly average."

"Oh, goodie. You're risking our lives based on your judgment of some kid who traded a napkin for three bottles of Strawberry Hill. How reassuring," Dani said sarcastically.

Xander ignored her and caught the attention of a tall, lanky, and bearded man who rushed around the corner of a rock display at the group's entrance. His bushy eyebrows were furrowed angrily, but his mouth seemed to be upturned in an uncomfortably permanent smile. "Tickets?" He demanded, his crooked yellow teeth showing.

"How much's it?"

"Twenty-four dollars for all of you."

There was a pause as Xander started to fish the money from his wallet, but an elbow to the ribs cured his honest notions.

Willard pushed past Xander and grabbed the man's hand to shake it enthusiastically. "Ringo! Beatles Ringo! Ringo from the Beatles! This is so...I mean, wow! Wow! Gosh golly!" His breathless tone completely distracted the doorkeeper.

"Uh...um...I'm not..I don't even look like…"

The demigod was already shaking him and talking at a million miles per hour. "Dude, why did you trick the world like that? All those adoring fans! The world needed your music! Needs your music! You have the ability to change the world and you've allowed this place to plaster some ridiculous expression on your face? I never took you for a history man, but what's your favorite exhibit? Something walrus-y, right? I KNEW IT!"

"What? Willard what the-" Dani yanked Xander sharply away from the worker. _Oh! A distraction!_

"Let's go. He'll catch up," Dani whispered, so they jogged further into the museum.

"But we didn't pay," Xander hissed, looking back over his shoulder nervously.

"Really? You're going to make a scene over twenty bucks?" The three got behind a display of ancient bones and peered through the skeletons to watch for Willard. "Anyone who comes here for fun could use a little excitement," Dani snorted derisively.

No more than five minutes later, a screaming figure hurtled around the corner. "RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

**~O~O~O~**

**It's 5:53 in the morning. Or so. We cannot think coherently. Yet we still know the word coherently. That's good, right? Also, when did we become 'we' as in one person but with a 'we'? Are we royal or something? Okay, brain goo oozing all over this. GOOD NIGHT. **

** ~Rachel and Monica**


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**Chapter 15**

"Good gods," Dani muttered.

A dozen giant metal lizards scurried after Willard, who was making "Pew! Pew!" noises as he raced past. Somehow, Rose understood this and swiftly fired two arrows at one of the creatures' eyes. It shuddered and stumbled but kept coming. At that point, the trio ran.

The corridors twisted and turned incomprehensibly and Xander couldn't keep a map in his head. They were lost, but that wouldn't matter if the lizards caught up with them. One of the monsters flicked its long, forked tongue and- "It _melted a wall!_" Xander yelled.

Willard called back, "It melted _Ringo!_"

Xander glanced briefly at the creatures behind him. What he saw encouraged him to go faster. They were about five feet tall (nearly his own height), were built with long, nimble bodies, and sported an acid-coated tongue. The lizards' eyes were the same eerie gold as the other monster's had been, but these were larger and sent chills down Xander's spine.

"Where do we go?" Dani shouted as the group turned another corner at maximum speed.

"Uh," Xander panted as he searched wildly for an exit. "Stairs! To the left!"

They race up the stairs to find yet another long corridor. "Where in Hades are the doors in this place?" Willard growled in frustration.

"We need to kill them," Rose said in a calm tone. It didn't quite suit Xander's current panic, but at least it pulled him into a process of strategic thought. The ex-Hunter hadn't even broken a sweat yet, and her loping gait made running at high speeds look almost easy. She pulled a few yards ahead and prepared an arrow. "Open its jaw!"

Before Xander could even completely unsheathe his sword, Dani was charging a lizard head-on with twin knives in her hand. Within the moment the creature whipped its acid-laced tongue at her, Dani reacted much like a baseball player: she slid under its stumpy legs and dragged her blades over the metallic underside, slicing an X across its midsection. The sound of scraping metal was nothing compared to the thing's furious roar.

Rose stopped and fired the arrow straight into the thing's throat. It started to steam and shudder. "Get out of there, Dani!" The other monsters had stopped to regard their brother, but not with curiosity or worry. They were collecting data.

Dani slid out, jumped to her feet, and began to retreat from the dying creature. She narrowly avoided another venomous tongue by leaping at Xander and toppling him over in her endeavor to escape disintegration. They sprang apart quickly, but the boy's face burned red. "Get back," she commanded from her place in front of him. The lizard started convulsing.

"You know how in movies there are always the stupid people who stay and watch the obvious happen and then they all die because they didn't just run?" Willard said. "That's about to be us!" He spun on his heel and sped off with Rose on his heels.

"Agreed." Dani followed closely behind Willard.

Xander began to move, but not in time. The lizard exploded. Large chunks of metal rained down around him and, despite how fast Xander tried to run, a scrap still knocked him in the back of the head.

His vision suddenly darkened around the edges, so Xander stopped and keeled over in pain. He felt like he might vomit. "Keep runnin', keep runnin'," he breathed, barely able to see his allies turn at the end of the hallway. He pushed himself to his feet and moved as fast as he could with spots in his vision and legs made of dead weight. He reached a door and stumbled inside. Hopefully the lizards hadn't seen him go in.

A door slammed on the opposite side of the room. Without giving it much thought, Xander darted behind a display and crouched down.

"Pathetic! Twelve Metalliks and they _still_ escaped," boomed a familiar voice that sparked Xander's memory. The woman from his dream. He automatically held his breath as he strained to hear.

"The Master expected us to handle things. The Master trusted us enough to leave. We are a disappointment."

_The Master left? Echidna ain't even here?_ Xander realized, scarcely able to comprehend the thought. Everything they'd just gone through had been pointless. Ringo's death hadn't even had a purpose. _Whadda we do now?_

"At least they are misguided, as the Master said they would be."

"Who will tell the Master?"

"I will," said the female. "It was my responsibility. Read me the meeting coordinates." She closed her eyes and waited.

One of the men's eyes glazed over and he repeated a cadence of numbers twice. The woman opened her eyes and nodded. Xander, whose head had finally started working properly again, thanked his mother for being brilliant. He was able to remember the string of numbers, and they would lead them to Echidna—if he could get out safely.

Xander considered his odds. Eleven functioning lizards, a woman with sword hands, four giant bodybuilders, and a giant two-headed dog with the tail of a serpent- _the Orthus_- sitting behind them were in this room and searching in the hallway just outside. _I'm in a fix. Not much choice, though,_ Xander decided. His eyes never left the monsters as he began to crabwalk backwards towards the hallway. He made it a significant distance without being noticed, much to his surprise. Xander was beginning to think that he might actually make it to the corridor when his hand crunched down on a Cheeto, of all things. _The Orthus must like junk food._

Xander felt his heart practically stop. He waited with wide-eyes, anxiously anticipating the moment they would turn and see him.

They didn't. The Orthus, on the other hand, did. Its two heads pointed Xander immediately and growled viciously. Foam dripped from each gnashing jaw.

"Dangit." He scrambled to his feet and sprinted out of the room, past three unprepared lizards, and down the corridor.

"Kill him this time!" The woman ordered. Her voice mixed with the terrifying noises of the Orthus and lizards that now followed in hot pursuit of demigod flesh.

The end of the hallway broke off into two directions. He darted left and remembered seconds too late that Dani, Rose, and Willard had turned right. "Dang it," he repeated. There was no way he could turn around with the monsters right behind him. He had to continue on the wrong path.

But there was still hope. A staircase that extended to the ground floor was illuminated by excessive lighting. Xander toppled informative podiums as he raced toward it in an attempt to slow down the monsters. It was a feeble attempt, though; the lizards simply crawled up the wall and came after him via the ceiling.

Xander jumped over the banister of the staircase to the first-floor platform with a thud. He was running out of energy. _Find an exit. The others'll catch up. Just find an exit!_'

He flung himself through the first door he spotted and locked it behind him. He allowed himself a moment to steady his breathing as his eyes adjusted to the dark room. _Well, if I ain't outside, _Xander wondered, _then where am I?_

The boy squinted his eyes as blocky figures came into focus. "No way," he exhaled. The space was filled with hundreds of Metalliks. They ranged from humanoid to beastly to just plain deformed. Each one stood eerily still as if none of them had been activated. Xander reached a hand out tentatively and poked one of the things in front of him. It appeared to be a bronze Cyclops, and it looked extremely hard to kill.

A bubbling noise alerted him and he turned to see the lizard's venom disintegrating the door. By the time the hole had grown large enough for them to enter, Xander had drawn his weapon and was able to strike a blow at the first lizard the moment it tried to enter. He stabbed between its eyes and hurtled through the gap in the wall before it had a chance to retaliate.

Xander dodged the other Metalliks and sprinted around another corner. To his surprise, he crashed into something head-on and fell to the ground. "Willard!"

**~O~O~O~**

**Poor Ringo. His life was so short. Hope you enjoyed it! Constructive criticism is always welcome. **

** ~Monica and Rachel**


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**Chapter 16**

"Wooooaaaaaah, there, horsey!" The taller boy pulled Xander to his feet. "What's your rush? Got some giant metal reptiles chasing after you? Great! So do I! Let's play leapfrog!" The older boy took off in the direction Xander had been heading. They hadn't gotten far when three Metalliks rounded a bend just ahead. Willard sprinted and use his hands to push off one of their heads. He somersaulted through the air and twisted at the finish to stick the landing with jazz hands. "Your turn!"

Had the situation not been so bleak, Xander would have laughed at Willard's display of gymnastic skill. However, it appeared as though the lizard was not a fan of leapfrog. The three Metalliks switched their attention between the two boys as though they couldn't determine which one to fight first.

"Leapfrog, huh? Fun," Xander grumbled sarcastically. He charged at the monsters, pushed himself onto one of the creature's backs, and swung his legs over. One of the other two Metalliks unhinged its jaw. Xander used momentum to bash his feet into the lizard's face, which certainly didn't cheer it up. The demigod rolled off the Metallik's back and barely managed to stay on his feet.

"Please tell me ya know where the exit is," Xander yelled as he began to run again.

Willard cackled, "Go with the flow, kid!" One last turn and they'd come full circle to the lobby. A disgusting odor filled the air, and Xander had to hold down his stomach when he saw an unrecognizably burnt, melted body.

They didn't bother to shut the building's main doors behind them. "Go go GO!" Willard shouted. The RV started to move and they just managed to grab onto the back when more Metalliks poured from the museum. Their transport jerked back and forth as Dani drove at what must have been ninety miles per hour.

Xander's definition of fun had never involved clinging to the back of a vehicle while it zoomed through traffic, although he'd admit that it was better than being chased on foot by oversized, acidic lizards.

When Dani had finally pulled over on the side of the road by a college grocery store, Xander and Willard tottered on jelly legs into the RV without complaint.

"What happened to you?" Dani had asked, exasperated.

He'd shrugged as he rifled through his backpack. "Lizard army, hit my head, got lost. Ya know, the entertainin' sorta thing."

"He means, 'YEEEEE-HAW! Let's go again!'" Willard whooped.

Rose murmured, "As long as you are safe now…I wish we had found Echidna, though."

"We did," Xander announced triumphantly. He found what he was looking for in his backpack: a sharpie. Xander uncapped it with his teeth and tore a piece of paper from the back of one of his books. He hurriedly wrote the coordinates down on the page. "Echidna wasn't even there. But," he held up the paper, "she is _here._"

Dani's eyebrows rose. "Great. Where is that?" she asked sarcastically.

"No idea." Xander was frustrated that the solution evaded him.

"If only there were some sort of device that could find a place based on its coordinates and guide you there," Rose wondered seriously. "Could you make one, Xander?"

Xander laughed, "That's called a GPS, Rose. They're kinda popular." He addressed Dani, "We should see if we can find a Radio Shack or somethin'. An average GPS unit for a car is 'bout two hundred dollars, which wouldn't leave us with money for everythin' else. Maybe if we bought one on sale, we could plan a budget-"

"Shut up," Dani cut him off with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Do you seriously have to be such an aggravating _goodie-two-shoes_? There are easier ways to get things, you know."

Xander blinked once. "Stealin' is wrong," he told her righteously.

"Fine. We can get lost trying to find a place to buy a GPS and then spend all of our money there, if that's what you want. _Or_ you could do what it takes to save the world. Your choice."

The moral decision was difficult. It didn't seem very heroic to steal everything they needed, even if it was for good reason. Xander eventually came to the conclusion that fighting it every time was never going to end well. He bowed his head in surrender.

"Thought so," Dani got out of her seat. "You have a problem with a little dishonesty?" She directed her question toward Rose.

"Willard is the only one with any kind of problem here," she replied softly, pitying their conversation's new subject, who had already finished off his last bottle. "He is too tolerant."

"I CAN FIND IT. LEMME FIND IT." Willard put a hand on Xander's face and began patting and tugging at it, humming meditatively as he did so.

Xander attempted to back away, awkwardly trying to pry Willard away from his face. "Um...I..." he stammered.

"Come on, Willard," Dani grabbed the drunk boy's collar and tugged him away. "One of these mall-goers is bound to have a GPS." She lead the way to the door and made sure to shoot a smug, snarky grin at Xander before she exited.

"At least he's good for morale," Rose said brightly.

"I reckon that's one way to put it," Xander rubbed his face tiredly. In the past forty-eight hours, Willard had had far too much contact with it.

"Um...Xander..." Rose spoke almost inaudibly, eyes downcast.

"Yeah?" He decided to grab some lunch to distract himself from Dani and Willard's criminal activities. He tossed the huntress some jerky.

"Your actions...I wish to say…You were heroic."

_Heroic? _Xander certainly hadn't felt very heroic; he'd gotten lost and then realized that the objective of their risky mission hadn't even been there. "Uh, thanks, Rose. You were too," he replied, unsure of the reaction he was supposed to have. "The way you found the weak spot was real impressive." He fought the urge to watch what Dani and Willard were doing. The very thought that he was allowing them to steal made him fidget.

Rose's shoulders slumped for a moment before she raised her chin and smiled thinly. "Thank you."

There were a few quiet moments wherein only the RV's broken clock could be heard ticking. Suddenly, the ginger popped out of her seat and shuffled through her backpack. She withdrew a sketchpad and pencil and started to scratch on the page.

The change in Rose's actions drew Xander's attention. He found himself peering over to see that she was sketching the monsters they'd previously encountered. "Wow," he breathed, impressed. "That's just what the first Metallik looked like."

"Metallik?"

"That's what the…er…Echidna's servants called them. Back at the warehouse."

Rose nodded. "We need to classify these things and their weaknesses as we meet them. We can help Camp Half-Blood prepare, just in case..." She lapsed back into a deep state of concentration.

"Yeah... just in case." The grim thought of failure took over his thoughts. Camp Half-Blood could show Echidna some kind of rodeo, but it was becoming increasingly obvious that the Metalliks could, too. He thought of the innocent mortal from his dream and the man they'd nicknamed 'Ringo.' They'd been killed so easily. Xander imagined campers, even young ones like Henry, battling the Metalliks. What future could that lead to? Their miniscule chances were depressing.

"That's real good, by the way." He mentally blocked those pesky, nagging assurances of impending doom.

She blinked the bangs out of her eyes and beamed, blushing modestly. "Thank you, but I have had three thousand years of practice."

Xander leaned against the back of the couch to watch. "I reckon so." _Even if I were _ten_ thousand years old, I would still be drawing at an average level. Rose is just naturally gifted_. He couldn't help but feel a sense of awe as she made swift, precise strokes across the page. The final images conveyed the cold, mechanical aspect of the monsters as well as their predatory nature.

The door to the RV burst open as Dani and Willard returned victoriously.

"I KARATE CHOPPED A WINDOW!"

**~O~O~O~**

**Willard, did it ever occur to you that jabbing an unprotected hand with great force at a glass object may not be the best idea in the whole wide world?**

Willard: It was shiiiiiiiiinyyyyy.

**Oh, okay. **_**That**_** explains what would otherwise be considered an act of masochism.**

Willard: Make sense, massages do.

**We just…We don't even know what to say to you anymore.**

Willard: Neither does the superstoremarketplace lady.

**Wait, what?**

Willard: Xander wears two good shoes on two left feet!

**Alrighty, then…You heard it, folks! Tune in at some eventual point to see Xander wearing shoes!**

Willard: …Or not…

**Oh, gods, why are you smiling like that? ...Willard? Willard?**


	18. Chapter Seventeen

**Chapter 17**

Willard brandished a bloodied hand. Shards of glass stuck out of it haphazardly.

"For the record, I told him not to," Dani explained with mild irritation, "but you can see how that went. We'd better go; I think someone saw us." Dani tossed the stolen GPS into Xander's hands. "You're smart, so hook it up."

Xander flipped the GPS around in his hand- it was nice. Much nicer than one he could have bought. Dani strapped into the driver's seat.

"You're drivin'?" Xander tried to conceal his concern.

Dani glowered at him. "Willard has glass sticking out of his hand, Rose didn't even know what a GPS was, let alone a stick shift, and you... I have little faith in your abilities behind a wheel, Cowboy. On a horse, maybe it would be different..." She turned the keys in the ignition and pulled out of the lot.

Xander groaned. He asked Rose, "Is his hand okay?" Willard lay on the mattress, and Rose had laid out a small first aid station. A clean bowl already contained a couple of glass spikes and a clean dishtowel had become a makeshift glove.

Rose's tone was grim. "It is good that he is intoxicated. We need medical supplies."

"Ya know what's bad about the drugstore?" Willard slurred. "They don't sell chocolate. I like chocolate. Can we get chocolate at the drugstore?" His voice trailed off and his eyelids fell until he'd passed out.

"How exactly are we going to get alcohol?" Dani narrowly avoided a collision as she changed lanes. "Willard is the only one who even looks close to being of age, and even he had to use some kind of persuasive power. There's no way they'll give us alcohol, and if we steal anything else I think Cowboy here is going to have an aneurysm."

Xander tinkered with the GPS. "Well, we have to figure somethin' out. We can't just go to a hospital- we're in a_ stolen_ RV. And Willard ain't much use to us sober, I gotta say."

"Then this will be interesting," Dani laughed coldly. Minutes later, she parked on a curb next to a Walgreens. "What do we need?"

She paused to yank another piece of glass from the boy's arm. "Tweezers, stitches, rubbing alcohol, medicines, anything useful. bandages- not band-aids, please- and maybe some chocolate…" Her lips twitched upward.

"Gotcha. Let's do this," Dani exited the vehicle with self-assured gusto. Xander checked Willard one last time before he followed. It looked painful, so much so that Xander actually agreed that getting alcohol wouldn't be the worst idea, even if he didn't like it.

Xander jogged to catch up with Dani as they entered through the automatic doors. "Okay, you get the medical stuff, I'll grab the vodka, deal?" she decided.

"Deal," he agreed and walked as casually as he could toward the pharmacy. He stocked up on everything from bandage wraps to pain pills and then hauled it all to the check-out counter and threw it down. The female cashier was dumbstruck, so he flashed her an awkward smile.

"Um... get into an accident?" the woman asked with a small laugh.

"No ma'am, my friend did," Xander replied simply.

"Mmmhmm," the cashier, whose name tag read either Mikie or Kimie (he couldn't tell because of his dyslexia), answered. She took him in with a disgusted expression. It occurred to Xander that he was covered in rubble and blood residue, but he was in too much of hurry to care.

As the woman read the price, Dani arrived. Her hands were full of a variety of spirits. "I'll be with you in a minute, miss... Is t-that _a-a-alcohol_?" Mikie-Kimie stammered.

"Yes, it is," Dani replied confidently and leaned on Xander, who felt sick.

"You have to be twenty-one," the cashier decreed, finally in control of herself again.

Dani laughed grimly. "No, you just have to be desperate." She flicked her lighter and blew on the flame. A dark blade grew from it- her lighter had morphed into a knife before Xander's eyes. He couldn't be sure what the cashier saw through the Mist, but it certainly alarmed her. "Now, I'm going to leave with this alcohol and these supplies and you won't say a word, or I will make you feel so much pain that even a hospital couldn't save you." She angled her the dagger's tip toward the woman, who nodded nervously. "Good choice."

Her gaze turned to Xander. "Grab the stuff," Dani instructed. All the while she kept her eyes on the cashier and didn't break her stance. Xander collected the goods with violently shaking hands. He was a criminal.

"If you call the cops, I will be back, and I will be angry. If you try anything, you might not live to regret it. You do not want to mess with me," Dani deadpanned. The whole performance gave Xander the chills. "Oh, and I'll also take these chocolates. Thank you for your service; we'll be sure to fill out a card." She grabbed the entire box of packages of Hershey's kisses from the rack next to the counter and elbowed Xander in the side. It was the signal to leave. They walked backwards out the sliding door as they left, just in case Mikie-Kimie decided that shouting would be a good idea. Xander could only try and apologize with his eyes as they escaped.

"That wasn't so hard," Dani said. She put her knife away and grabbed a basket of bottles from Xander as they traveled back to the RV.

"I think I'm going to throw up," Xander whispered.

"You are not. Come on," Dani opened the door to the RV with gusto. "We really need to get out of here now," she announced.

"Thank you," Rose said as Xander showed her the grocery bags. "Please hand me a water bottle and another clean bowl. I need sterilize the wounds."

That really made Xander sick. He turned away and grabbed a water bottle from one of the Wal-Mart bags and then searched for a bowl. He found one on the floor with a questionable green substance inside. He wiped it with his shirt before he handed it to Rose. "It isn't gonna to be pretty when he wakes up, is it?"

"Not at all." She methodically removed the rest of the glass until she seemed pleased with the result. Willard's hand draped over the new bowl, and she poured water over it. Xander held Willard down at her request and she poured the entirety of the bottle's contents over his cuts.

"GODS, WOMAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?" Willard cried out and arched his spine. "I need out, let me out, get me out, I NEED OUT!" His heart wrenching pleas were harder to listen to than Sarah McLachlan's In the Arms of an Angel.

Rose smoothed the boy's hair from his face. "Shhh, calm down," she soothed.

"I'm dying! You're killing me! Why does it still hurt? It shouldn't hurt anymore. Nothing can hurt anymore." He babbled incoherently. Horror was written plainly across his features. Dilated olive eyes stared straight ahead into nothing. Sweat had broken out on his brow.

"Here, drink." She made eye contact with Xander and glanced pointedly at the liquor.

Willard calmed down considerably when he saw the bottles, though his breathing was still shallow from terror. His voice was still slurred, and that made sense- drunkenness remains through unconsciousness, after all- but the sheer amount the boy could hold was unsettling. "AHA! There's my key. My one true love, how I have missed you! When did you lot start supporting me in my endeavors, eh?"

Xander laughed anxiously, "Um, I dunno if we said anything 'bout supportin' it, but you were in a lot of pain, so we made an exception. Now Dani and I have criminal records."

Dani faintly commented from behind the wheel, "Already had one."

Xander ignored her. "If news that I aided in a Walgreens hold-up gets back to Texas, my dad's gonna slaughter me, so that stuff better be worth it," he told Willard lightly, indicating toward the assorted bottles of alcohol. He joked with the injured boy, but in truth his actions weighed heavily and he couldn't help but feel as though he was betraying every moral he'd started with on the quest.

Willard growled as Rose stitched up a cut. "What, ambrosia and nectar aren't good enough these days? We have to resort to barbarianism? I AM FLESH, NOT FABRIC. Away, seamstress, away!"

Rose rolled her eyes and put a square of ambrosia in his mouth to shut him up. "Greek methods only do so much. We have to help them along."

Xander returned to the front of the RV where Dani had taken to speeding down the streets again. Thankfully, most of them were deserted at three a.m. on a Saturday.

She messed with the dials of the radio until she finally settled on a grainy news report.

"**Keep a look out for two criminal teenagers. The female is estimated to be five feet, four inches, aged sixteen, and has dark hair with red and blue streaks. The male is estimated to be five feet, five inches, aged fifteen, and has blonde hair. Both are of lean build and wear orange shirts that read "Camp Half-Blood." They robbed a Walgreens cashier at gunpoint just hours ago and escaped with approximately three hundred dollars in supplies."**

"You've gotta be kiddin' me. That fast?" Xander exclaimed.

"That fast," Dani repeated grimly. "On the bright side, they don't know our names or that we're in an RV. At least, they don't know right now."

Xander slumped into the seat and fiddled the GPS unit again. "That's great. Monsters are fine, but we can't really fight the cops."

"Says who?"

"Says common sense. Says _morality_," Xander groaned.

Dani snorted. "And we all know that _morality_ is my middle name." Athena's son made a face at her.

Eventually, he managed to get the GPS to turn on and show the main menu screen. He raised his gaze to copy the coordinates when he saw her. An elderly woman stood still in the center of the road.

"Hit the brakes!" he panicked. Dani slammed the break and swerved crazily. Willard screamed a little too shrilly for his age. Xander was jerked to the side. His face smacked the window, which allowed him a great view of the RV clipping the woman and sending her sprawling. They almost flipped over, but Dani miraculously managed to retain control and looped back around.

The vehicle came to a halt by the side of the road. Dani was in complete shock. She breathed rapidly and clenched the wheel with white knuckles. When he'd swallowed hard an collected himself, Xander looked to Rose and Willard. "You two alright?"

"Yes." Rose's voice was almost a squeak. "What did we hit?"

**~O~O~O~**

**Cat of Flames, we believe that Dani would react badly to that notion. It isn't impossible, but there are...obstacles. You see, Willard completely disgusts her, as do so many other things. In fact, w****e have to wonder if Dani woke up this morning and said to herself, "You know what? I think I'm going to go run over some little old ladies today."**

**Yeah. She probably did.**

** ~Rachel and Mon-**

Dani: Oh, no, you two aren't getting away with that! You threw that granny in the street so I would hit her, didn't you?

**.**

**.**

**.**

Dani: _Didn't you?_

…**Mayyybe…**

Dani: Sadistic 90's TV show namesakes.


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**Chapter 18**

Xander peered out the window. Dani's would-be road kill lay sprawled in the middle of the street. "A senior citizen," he moaned. "What happened?" Dani just shook her head, dumbfounded.

"I- I don't know... I mean... she just kind of... she was just... there," Dani stammered. Her eyebrows knit together and she gestured emphatically, unable to explain herself in words.

"You just didn't see her?" Xander tried to hide the disbelief in his voice. The woman _had_ been in the middle of the road, after all.

"No, I would have seen her... She was just..." Dani leaned her head back against the seat head and closed her eyes. "I would have seen her, Xander," she said forcefully.

"It's okay." He patted her on the shoulder. He didn't quite believe her since her driving rap sheet was a mile- scratch that- _thousands of miles_ long, but he could see she bordered on being distraught. "I'm going to check on her."

"Be careful." Dani spoke distractedly as she squinted at the woman.

"Don't worry, grandmas love me," Xander let a corny smile spread across his face. She laughed. He had spent far too many long summer days with his paternal grandmother and her friends, so he felt perfectly comfortable with them. He had never hit them with an RV, though.

He shrugged on a jacket on his way out on the off chance she had heard their descriptions before going for a midday walk across the road. Xander hurried to the center of the street and knelt down beside the woman, who seemed out of it. "Ma'am, are you alright?" he asked, concerned.

"Oh, hello, dear. Yes, yes, I'm just fine. Is it Tuesday?" Her voice was thick with the warble of old age. She had pudgy cheeks, snowy hair like duck fluff pinned atop her head with little bedazzled red bows, and wore a red Christmas sweater and high-waist jeans. Makeup was caked onto her heavily lined face, which only served to further emphasize her age. Her hands shook as she collected her scattered groceries.

"Let me get that for ya," Xander offered. He crouched down and gathered the items into canvas World Mart bags. He tried to suppress his fear at the woman's ability to function- it was a Saturday. "I'm real sorry 'bout what happened, ma'am. My friend...uh...she ain't the best driver." Xander stood up and proceeded to gently help the elderly woman to her feet. She vaguely reminded him of his own grandmother, if less likely to use a shotgun and bear a deep grudge against squirrels.

"Do ya live far from here?" He feared that the woman wouldn't remember. She was wearing a Christmas sweater in early spring, after all.

"Not to worry, sweetie, not to worry." With obvious effort, she managed to right her overturned walker and pull herself to her feet. "I just need to hurry on home. My little Miss Mittens misses her mummy."

Xander nodded. _A cat lady. 'Course._ She was a typical sweet woman and they hit her with an RV. "I mean, do ya need help getting' home?" He was genuinely nervous now. What if she wandered around for hours and died because she had lost her senses?

"Don't trouble yourself, dear." Her grocery bags were finally secure, so she started to inch away. Before she'd gotten a yard, she fell over. "Oopsy daisy! I suppose if it isn't too much, would you mind helping me get home? Miss Mittens will be wanting her Tuesday pie soon."

Xander quickly rushed to help the woman up again and steadied her. "'Course! It's not any kinda problem," he insisted. "Just let me get my friends." He jogged back to the RV and gave a quick rap to the door before he opened it himself. "We hafta help her," he declared.

"My arm is all band-aided!" Willard cheered. "Does she need to be band-aided too?"

"I don't know…" Xander's brow furrowed. "But we _did_ hit her with an RV, and she seemed sorta delusional, so I told her that we'd help her get home."

"Wait a minute," Dani blurted. She sported an over-sized T-shirt with a large flaming skull that had to have been designed for the sole purpose of scaring small children. "So she just asks you out of the blue to take her home, and you agreed? Are you insane?"

"No," Xander answered forcefully, "I offered. But we- _you_, specifically- nearly ran her over. The least we can do is take her home. It's polite."

"Oh, yes, being polite is always my number one concern," she snapped back. The words dripped with irritated sarcasm. "Tell me, Cowboy, what's this old lady's name?"

Xander averted his eyes. "I... uh... well, I didn't catch her name," he mumbled.

"Dearies? Do you prefer pecan pie or peach pie? I also have apples. Oh, but maybe chocolate is more suited to you sweet little cherubs," the old lady tittered from just outside the door.

After shooting a charming smile at the woman, Xander turned back to the group and smiled broadly. "She's makin' pie," he sing-songed persuasively. He focused intently on the one person who was sure to go for this plan- Willard.

"Did you say…PIE?" Willard's eyes glittered feverishly. "We have to go, come on, let's go please can we go I bet it's delicious and great pleasepleasepleasepleaseplea sepleasepleasepleasepleasepl easepleasepleeeeeeeaaaaase!"

Rose cocked her head. Xander noted the small smile on her lips. "Is it not modern etiquette to escort someone home when you have clipped them with a speeding vehicle?"

"I believe it is," Xander answered smoothly. With a smug grin he held up three fingers and touched them to his forehead in salute, then motioned for the three to come outside. Rose guided Willard by the elbow and Dani followed last. Her arms were crossed at her chest and her jaw was locked. "Ladies first," Xander told her, holding the door of the RV open.

"I don't like this woman, Boy Scout," she spat as she stepped out.

"You proved that already," Xander grumbled. In reply Dani gave him a hard shove to the chest, which was promptly followed by a mocking salute. He thought she even stuck her tongue out. He sighed. _Cooperation is a foreign concept to that girl._

He cordially made the introductions. "Ma'am, these are my friends Rose, Dani, and Willard, and my name is Xander."

"I'm Granny Lamb, but you can call me Granny! Or Gran Gran. Or just Gran, whatever suits you. What lovely names," the old woman gushed. "And what precious faces to go with them!" Her frail, wrinkly arms shot up and she pinched both of Xander's cheeks with a tut-tut. "You cutie pies need some more meat on those bones! You're growing, after all. How's about I make you all some delicious lunch and a scrumdiliumpious pie for dessert, hmm?" This kind of long-winded grandmotherly talk went on and on as they walked. Xander was relieved when they finally reached a house that reminded him of Candy Land.

"Wow," Xander managed. It was almost like looking at a dollhouse of sorts. Its base was a light pink, and tons of other bright and pastel colors decorated the place so that it resembled a gingerbread house, if he looked closely. Its quaint appearance was quite out of place amongst the traditional homes in the Boston suburb.

"You've got to be kidding me. Lawn gnomes? Really? This woman is channeling Medusa," Dani mumbled crankily, just loud enough for Xander to hear. Willard snickered.

"Come in, children, come in!" Granny Lamb beckoned. She hobbled through the doorway and waited until they'd all stepped inside to lock it behind them. The heavy click resonated through the cozy front hall. "There have been some burglaries lately," Granny Lamb informed them with a sweet smile.

"I'm going to puke," Dani gagged. The room was colored a vibrant shade of pink- Pepto-Bismol had vomited there, really. The tan furniture glowed cozily by the light of the fireplace. Antique dolls modeled next to an old rocking horse in the far corner, which stood directly beside a Victorian loveseat that was covered in a thin layer of dust. The walls were lined with mahogany shelves accented with lace and covered end to end with cat pictures and figurines. An entire wall was devoted to pictures of children.

"Uh... Beautiful home, ma'am." Xander mustered as much cheer as he could. The room was far too stuffy and small for his taste. He didn't like it. He could feel himself growing antsy and he feared Granny Lamb would consider it rude. Desperate for any kind of distraction, he strode over to the wall of photographs and skimmed them. "Nice pictures."

Granny Lamb clacked her dentures together. "Those are my grandchildren. I come from a big family, you see, and they're so sweet." She left the room, presumably to go to the kitchens. "Make yourselves at home, my sweets!"

"Really big family," Xander murmured to himself, tracing a few faces absently with his thumb. The kids ranged in age and ethnicity. Some didn't look even remotely related. _Extended_, Xander figured.

He watched Dani wander around out of the corner of his eye. She acted as though she was thinking about how best to burn the house down. She tapped the rocking horse on the nose. A fuzzy black and white kitten leapt out from behind it and rubbed itself against Rose's leg.

"Cute," said Xander as he bent down to pet the animal. It avoided him entirely and instead preferred to dart around Willard's feet.

"Meow!" The drunk pawed at the kitten.

Heavenly smells already wafted into the living room. "We oughta go see her," Xander decided. He headed down the hallway- which, as it turned out, was not the one Granny Lamb had followed. The walls were a sunny yellow color, lined with older photographs of children in black and white that sat atop more shelves. Gradually, they transitioned into paintings and drawings.

"Hey, did you get lost? This way!" Dani yelled from the end of the hall. Her voice broke Xander's reverie. He blushed and caught up with them in the kitchen.

"Who wants some strudel to snack on? I had some left over from yesterday's breakfast, but I always make more than I can eat." Granny Lamb motioned to a pastel blue table with matching chairs and a lacy white tablecloth. "Please, eat. It isn't very much, but I can hear your poor tummies rumbling! Lunch will be ready soon, and I promise that it will taste better than my leftovers."

Xander eagerly tucked in because the smell was absolutely amazing. Dani, however, leaned against the counter away from the table. "I'm on a diet," she said coldly.

"Oh, come on." Xander twisted in his seat to face her. "Just eat some." She shook her head and watched Granny Lamb through squinted eyes.

Rose accepted a meager portion and widened her eyes in disbelief.

"Pahtee in mah mouf!" Willard delightedly agreed through a mouthful of strudel.

"What do you put in this?" Xander asked enthusiastically before he stuffed his mouth with another piece of heaven.

"That's Granny's secret recipe," the old lady whispered playfully. "Come on, hon, won't you have some? You're hurting an old woman's pride."

"I'll pass."

"Will you at least drink some lemonade, darling? Such a sweet face deserves a sweet drink! What kind of host would I be if you didn't accept?"

Dani growled, "I don't know you, lady, and I don't trust strangers."

Granny Lamb giggled. "Why would you say such shameful things? I'm simply trying to make you some lunch." Her bubbling laughter turned into an eerie cackle that sent chills up Xander's spine. She licked her lips slowly. "Such sweet children. I think you'd all taste delectable in a nice shepherd's pie. Don't you agree?"She suddenly lapsed into silence and stared off into the distance for a moment. A terrifying expression distorted her features. She clawed at her eyes…and both of them _fell out of her skull._

After a few deep breaths, she tutted and stooped to pick them up and pop them back in, muttering curses at the god of the skies.

"Oh, gods. I should have realized." Rose paled (which was a serious accomplishment) and shot a fiery glare at the old woman. A different attitude took hold of her, and Xander was reminded again of the Hunter she once was. "Lamia, how was your vacation? Last time we spoke you were looking rather…_holey_."

She was answered with a delighted hoot. "A Huntress of the Moon? Ooh, and your sisters have left you. What luck! ZEUS! HERA! Watch, watch as I take my revenge upon the gods!"

**~O~O~O~**

**Cat of Flames, quests do indeed change things. *hypnotic voice* All will be clear in time.**

Dani: You sound ridiculous.

**Hush, you're ruining the effect!**

_Xander: I'd like to ask something. How can you two justify making some poor little old lady into a cannibalistic psychopath?_

**It's a legitimate legend, but mostly because, well…Evil grannies are our favorite kind of grannies!**

Dani: Sweeney Todd would be proud of this one.

_Xander: Yeah, I've been wondering…What exactly was in that strudel?_

**Um. Uh. Er. What's with all the questions, Xander? Don't you trust us?**

_Xander: About as far as I can throw you._

Dani: I think you just insulted yourself.

_Xander: I- They- It's- Just- *throws up arms* DID YOU MAKE US EAT HUMAN MEAT?_

***check wrists* Wow, look at the time! Right, well, we'd better get on with the show! Heheh. Heh…Heh…**

** ~Rachel and Monica**

**P.S. "Honorary Willard," thanks for the constructive criticism! As far as the fourth wall goes: Rachel doesn't usually write these disclaimers (even though she greatly approves of them), so they're just add-ins. The fourth wall is our best friend. We love hugging the fourth wall, but we would never even **_**dream**_** of crossing that line. Not in our actual story… exceptmaybeonceinthefar-offfutureifyoureallypayatten tionnotthatitmattersrightnow oranything. The fourth wall has boundaries, ya know. The fourth wall really loves us, much like Starfish used to- though we've recently heard that STARFISH REALLY LOVES YOU.**


	20. Chapter Nineteen

**Chapter 19**

"Aw, heck," Xander breathed.

"What kind of granny eats kids?" Dani growled as she drew a knife from her belt. She hurled it at Lamia with trained accuracy, but Lamia reacted like a viper. The old woman caught the knife between two fingers just inches from her face.

Dani's eyes widened. "That's never happened before," she said, all bravado dissipated. She knocked over the dining table with a well-placed kick. "Come on!" She grabbed Xander by the hood when he didn't move fast enough and dragged him into the hallway.

"It is too late. This place is her domain." Rose pulled a dagger from her belt. It was more like a small gladius than like Dani's throwing knives, and she wielded it with as much skill as you'd expect a three thousand-year-old demigod to possess. "How many, Lamia? Hundreds? Thousands?"

Lamia grinned to show fang-like canines. "Sweetheart, you won't live long enough to care." Instead of returning Rose's attacks, the old woman lashed out with talons and cut into Xander's arm.

It sent him to the ground, but the drug kept the pain at bay for the moment.

The ex-Hunter's nostrils flared in fury. "Send Hades my regards."

Dani bristled. "Hey-"

The two lunged and clashed in midair. Blood sprayed across the floor as they landed, but it was impossible to tell who it belonged to.

Willard chose that moment to swallow the last bite of drugged pastry, hop up, and flutter out of the room as though he were a fairy.

Dani launched herself into the mix with her lighter-knife in hand and took a quick swipe at Lamia on her way to Rose, who had been dealt a nasty gash on her leg. She grabbed the smaller girl and pulled her away. "Get revenge later; right now, we need to _get out_," Dani commanded.

Rose stumbled, so she reached for Xander's arm to support herself. "Why are there four of you...?" The southerner felt her tight grip on his shoulder. Dani supported both of them enough that they were able to limp down the long hallway faster than the she-demon they heard scuttling just behind them.

"For the love of Hades! Where the heck did Willard go?" Dani exclaimed in a fit of exasperation. With a grunt of effort, she set the two delicately on the couch. "I am not about to be killed by some old lady in a Christmas sweater," she declared. Xander thought he felt his heart skip a beat, but that could just have been the effects of the drug. Maybe.

The woman completely transformed. Her torso was still that of an elderly woman, razor sharp teeth filled her mouth, and her legs intertwined and elongated into a scaly green mass. Her skin was wrinkled and reptilian, her eyes glazed with hunger and bloodlust. Dani somersaulted to the side to avoid Lamia's swipe. The girl leapt over the serpentine tail and managed to sink her blade briefly into the monster's shoulder. The demon shrieked in rage.

Xander watched the daughter of Hades struggle to regain her breath. He blinked a few times to regain control of his mind. _I am not fallin'. I'm sittin' on a couch. Definitely not fallin'. _"How... how... how do we kill her?" He stammered to Rose. Even if he knew, Xander wasn't sure he could do anything- the world was still tilting and fuzzy. _But I have to try._

Rose had her head in her hands. "Thalia killed her last time. I...I think she's just like any other demon...But the poison is worse…" She slumped against Xander's shoulder.

"Poison...worse...worse... Rose? Rose? Rose!" Xander shook the girl desperately. She was out. He eased her to the other side of the plush couch and stood.

For the first time, Xander began to see how dangerous the situation was. Dani was still down. Rose was unconscious. Willard was...who cared at this point? That left him. Alone. Lamia was obviously thinking the same thing. The monstress raised a claw and licked the blood from it with terrible slowness. His gut twisted. She charged. "Sorry, Rose." Just as her talons clipped his cheek, Xander wrapped his arms around Rose and threw their bodies back with enough force to knock the entire sofa over. The tumble disoriented him further.

"Bad idea," he moaned. He could actually see stars circling his head. Lamia chopped the couch in half.

"The tassste of young love is ssso sssweet. I wonder which will be more tender, you or the girl?" Granny Lamb rubbed her scaly hands together greedily as her gaze flicked between the three teens.

Xander didn't want to give her the opportunity to find out. He racked his brain for something, anything, to come to mind. No plans. No tactics. Nothing. He was giving up against his will. He couldn't move a muscle. They were all going to die because he'd failed.

He vainly hoped for the possibility that their deaths would be painless, but he was kidding himself. Dani wasn't even drugged. The she-demon would almost certainly skin them alive. It would hurt, and he didn't figure "Granny Lamb" would care. In a last effort for dignity, Xander opened his eyes to face his final foe.

The sight wasn't what he expected.

The blood-stained tip of a Stygian iron blade poked out of Lamia's chest. Its exhausted wielder drove it deeper with a grunt.

Lamia wailed mournfully and exploded into ash. Xander leapt to his feet, suddenly totally alert, and Rose joined him with an arrow strung on her bow. It took him a few seconds to realize that the demon was dead.

As though it were a scene in a movie, Dani blew on the knife after the kill and returned it to its cigarette lighter form. She smiled knowledgably at Xander and pushed her hair out of her face. Pride glimmered in her eyes. "I told you you'd be dead without me."

Xander could think of very few points in his life where he had been so happy to see someone. He was admittedly embarrassed at that thought, but he grinned back gratefully.

"You okay?" She locked her dark eyes onto his. Genuine concern shone through them.

The boy felt his cheeks grow warmer because of her unusual attentions. He barely stuttered an intelligible answer. "Uh... yeah... Yeah, I'm doin'... I reckon I'm alright."

"I think you're lying to me, but that's alright," Dani laughed. "Ya know why? Because I was right. I was right and you, Mr. Genius Son of Athena, Mr. Boy Scout, _you_ were wrong."

He sighed. She was gloating and it sucked. Xander hated being wrong with a passion. He so often relied on being undeniably right, but here he'd handed his group to a child-eating freak show on a silver platter.

Dani punched Xander's shoulder and winked, as if she were trying to share some of her endless confidence. He blushed and nodded in reply. "Thank ya for savin' us."

"Thank you, Dani," Rose met the eyes of the other girl as she re-braided her red hair, but the look they shared was odd. Not grateful, but somewhat friendly even as their postures exhibited defiance. A challenge? _Girls. _Xander dismissed the train of thought.

The brunette shrugged offhandedly and hoisted herself onto the nearby windowsill. "So what was with that chick, anyway?" She shifted her attention between Xander and Rose.

The ancient Hunter looked at her hands. "Lamia's legend is a sad one. Once upon a time, a beautiful queen fell in love with a certain god of the skies-"

"Figures," Dani snorted.

"-and bore children. Whether they were Zeus's or her king's, who knows? In any case, Hera grew jealous and stole them away. When Lamia cried out to the goddess in despair, Hera cursed her. Every time the queen closed her eyes, she would see horrible images of her children suffering, dying. Zeus, out of love and pity, bestowed upon her the ability to remove her eyes to ease her pain when the visions became unbearable. Lamia vowed revenge against the gods and ate other women's children in spite. Gradually, all that evil distorted her and transformed her into a demon."

"Cannibalism works wonders," Dani muttered, shaking her head.

"So that fulfills part of the prophecy." They looked to him in question. "_In night, love triumphs and the cursed one dies._" Xander skimmed the walls again. The pictures must have been her shrine to vengeance. It left him very relieved that _that_ monster was in the Underworld, at least for a while.

Dani shook her head skeptically. "But it isn't nighttime, and there was no _love_ to be spoken of. That witch deserved to die."

Xander thought for a moment. "Well, Rose and I were basically unconscious, so maybe that's what it meant by night. And maybe it meant the love you showed when you protected us. As, um, friends. Comrades in arms, ya know?"

Dani averted her eyes. "Yeah, that's probably it. Prophecies are screwy."

There was an awkward pause.

"So," Dani finally cleared her throat and spoke up. "How did the drug wear off so fast?

"It is a powdered version of her venom. It would have killed us within the hour, but all traces of it vanish with her corpse." Who knew Rose could sound exactly like a talking encyclopedia?

"I mean, you were...eh...kind of pathetic a minute ago." Dani had adopted that peculiar expression again.

Rose averted her eyes sheepishly. "My apologies. I have never used anything but medicinal herbs before, so I am more susceptible to high doses of poison than you might be. I am also a bit smaller than Xander or Willard." As she explained, Lamia's orphaned kitten had crawled stealthily into her lap.

Xander chuckled. "Hey, looks like ya got a free cat." The former Hunter looked down and smiled fondly.

Clanging and banging startled them all. Willard wobbled out of the kitchen, balancing deep dishes of Granny Lamb's cooking in his arms and on his head. "What?" he asked of their disbelieving expressions. "No meat here! I checked." He whipped a magnifying glass of unknown origin to his eye.

"Yeah, probably because she was planning to put US in them. She set us up from the beginning when she magically zapped into the middle of the road. I should have run her over when I had the chance," Dani lamented.

"How could ya have justified that? Ya didn't know she was a mon-" Xander stopped, suddenly aware of the blood dripping down his arm. Since the numbing effect of the poison was gone, the damage he'd sustained actually stung.

Lamia had sliced three jagged cuts into his upper arm. Xander carefully took off his stained jacket and applied pressure on the wound with his free hand. He spoke through gritted teeth, "We should prob'ly get outta here. This place gives me the willies."

Dani admonished, "For the love of Hades, Xander, I knew you were lying to me."

**~O~O~O~**

**Monica: Rachel, I think it's time we gave the reader's a sneak peak of the next chapter.**

**Rachel: Are you sure? Something so incredibly **_**serious**_** and **_**plot heavy**_** might chase them off.**

_Rose: You two are terrifying._

Dani: Rose, show some backbone! Don't let them know how much they scare you or they'll do it again!

_Xander: …They enjoy our suffering…_

**Monica: Come on, guys, you're exaggerating.**

**Rachel: Dani, you enjoyed it!**

Dani: Until…Until…Oh, gods, my eyes!

_Xander: *patting trembling Rose on the back* I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to! They made me!_

**Us: Willard, any comments on this?**

Willard: GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FU-U-UN!

**Expect Chapter 20 SOON in theatres near you!**

*Willard's jazz hands*


	21. Chapter Twenty

**Chapter 20**

**We feel like now is a good time to give you all an explanation. Yes, we are aware that real alcoholics do not act this way. It is a parody of the drunken state, so please don't take offense. So now the truth is revealed: **

**Willard is a Sokka drunk.**

**~O~O~O~**

On account of their injuries, the drunk drove.

Before they'd even stepped inside their beat-up joyride, though, Willard had clapped. "I decorated!"

"Er, wha-" Xander had cocked his head.

"Come see, come see!" He'd skipped out to their renovated vehicle. _Renovated vehicle…RV..._ Xander had chuckled inwardly. …_I must have lost a mite too much blood._

A "Home Sweet Home" sign hung crookedly on the door. They trudged inside, dead on their feet. Willard had been busy while they fought for their lives. The carpet was bleached, which was a spectacular- if smelly- change from before. Some of the chemical had splashed onto the furniture, but at least the mysterious stains were much fainter.

Lime green curtains with smiling sunflower print were duct-taped to the walls above the windows. _No curtain rods, I guess,_ Xander mused wryly. He could see Dani clicking her lighter beside him; her plans for the cheery fabric were practically written on her face. The table now had an ill-fitting table cloth that made it look more like what it was and less like a dog's chew toy. There was a new sky blue bedspread and fresh sheets. Pillows were strewn all over the place.

"Bathroom is pretty, too!" Willard had announced happily. The medicine cabinet was stocked.

Xander had noted that bottles were stashed in odd places around the RV.

"Wow," Rose praised. The sixteen-year-old beamed at her.

"Oh yes, it looks just like the lovely home of the cannibalistic demon who tried to kill us. Fond, fond memories," Dani grumbled in aggravation. Judging by her sour expression, she held a grudge towards Willard for ditching them in the fight.

Xander was sort of fuzzy throughout the tour, his arm continuing to bleed out and his mind unfocused. There was no fight from him when Rose insisted on cleaning the wound, but at the first chance he got Xander grabbed the GPS and coordinates. _Better see where we're actually goin'._

"Please be still," Rose said softly. Xander's arm moved away from Rose yet again as he continued to tinker with the GPS, making the process of cleaning the cut aggravatingly difficult. "Please?"

"Sorry," Xander responded absentmindedly as he continued to punch in numbers. "I just think it'd be smart if we knew where we were gonna find Echidna. That way we'd know if Willard is even drivin' in the right- Ah! Ahhh!" The boy's mind was immediately jolted out of its gadget-induced haze as Rose poured rubbing alcohol over his wound. "That hurts, ya know! You could at least warn a person," he grumbled through gritted teeth.

"It is easier this way," she murmured as she readied her stitching supplies. "Xander, what are you doing to that…'G-P-S'?"

"Tryin' to find where we're s'posed to be headin'," he explained. "I put in the coordinates, but it was unresponsive 'cause of some deviation in the screen recognition system. So I had to reset the system settin's, but that put it in a cold start and it started to lose its wireless signal so now I'm restorin' it to a different wireless network with a stronger signal so we don't have to wait for satellite in order for it to recall the almanac and ephemeris data for the TTFF so once it gathers the information it can process the coordinates and actually give the right route to get there." Rose blinked dazedly at the increasingly rushed monologue when Xander finally took a breath.

He glanced over at Rose and smirked. "You have no idea what I'm talkin' 'bout, do ya?" he asked, remembering that a few hours ago she hadn't even known what a GPS was.

She tugged the needle a little harder than necessary and he felt a flare of pain in his arm. It had been neatly sutured while he'd talked.

"X-Man! I got meds FO YOU." Willard instantly leaned back on his heel and gestured with what was apparently meant to be 'gangsta' emphasis. He handed a thermos to Xander. "Drink up, slurp slurp."

Rose took on a worried expression. "Willard, if you are not driving…who is?"

Willard stared down at his feet bashfully. "The kitty."

The ex-Hunter's eyes practically bulged out of her head as she deciphered Willard's coded speech. "…We are on a highway, you locked the wheel, and you put the cat on the pedal to keep our speed. Is that what you are saying?" Xander smacked his forehead.

The drunk hummed euphorically. "I'm a doctor, too! Look, medicine!"

Xander noted that the concoction he'd been given smelled vaguely of strawberries and nectar, so it seemed safe enough. "If I drink it, will you go back to the wheel?"

Willard nodded vigorously. Xander gulped down half of the thermos's contents and gagged at its sickly sweet flavor and the way it burned on the way down. It almost seemed to have a powdery texture. The drunk grinned and skipped back to the driver's seat.

"Remind me again why we let him drive?" Dani grumbled.

"Because you can't and shouldn't." Xander wretched when he gulped down another mouthful; the stuff tasted foul, but he could feel the pain in his arm start to alleviate. With a sigh he took another sip. "The cat did a better job than you."

Dani abruptly changed the subject. "So. Texas. Life not mattering. Boredom that led to scary knowledge about GP systems."

Xander shuddered and set the foul medicine down beside him. "Yeah, Texas. Not much to say, really. I'm best with computers," he responded casually.

"I heard you ran away." Dani interjected bluntly from her spot at the table.

"How'd ya know 'bout that?" the Southerner demanded with arched eyebrows as his face grew warmer.

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Small camp. Lots of gossip. What, did you actually think Henry kept all of your secrets to himself?"

Rose asked concernedly, "Why did you run away? Who is Henry?"

"Henry," Xander began crossly, choosing the easy question first, "is the kid who was up in that tree durin' Capture the Flag. He's my half-brother, and he'll be officially _dead_ when I see him again. As for the other thing... it really doesn't matter."

"I think you're wrong, Cowboy." Dani slipped into an exaggerated southern accent. "After all, we need to be able to trust each other if we're on this quest together, and to do that we need to know _all about_ each other's pasts." She grinned slyly. "I mean, you're not exactly the type to run away, so something must have happened."

"Nothin' happened," Xander gritted his teeth.

"Liar. What happened?"

The boy turned to face away from Dani with the hope that Rose would take his side.

Her eyes sparkled. "It is only fair, after you forced a lady to reveal her age." She was laughing at him, he knew it.

_Oh, joy._

"But... It's... I... You..." he stopped. He knew when he had lost an argument. He groaned and fidgeted. "There was a... difference of opinion between my dad and I."

"Over what?" Dani pressed.

"His uh... girlfriend," Xander muttered. Cecelia. The very thought of her made him cringe.

"What about her?" Dani was unusually curious.

"She was usin' him." Xander looked toward the ground. "He didn't believe me and it got uglier from there, I reckon." He grabbed Willard's medicine and poured more of the foul liquid down his throat. It still burned, but it didn't taste quite as bad.

Rose knitted her eyebrows together. "How…convoluted."

A faint smile formed on Xander's face as he lowered the thermos from his lips; the taste was starting to become tolerable as the burning in the back of his throat subsided. "Well, ya see, Cecelia's a bit of a gold digger. She don't really care 'bout my dad at all. All she wants is enough money and stability for her and her boyfriend to get hitched."

"You mean your dad?" Dani asked slowly.

Laughter erupted out of Xander. "Gods, no! No. No, I mean Joseph a'course! What a reg'lar gentleman he is. Walked in on him and Cecelia together in the livin' room one day after school. He threatened to skin me alive and feed me to the armadillas' if'n I ever told my pa." Another gulp from the thermos elicited chuckles and a hiccup.

"That's… um-"

"It don't bother me none," Xander blurted out to cut off any of the others' concerns. "I didn't reckon he'd do much ta me. Cecelia had a different way a doin' things, though. She lied and cheated 'til she'd turned my own father 'gainst me. Made it so as he wouldn' listen ta anythin' I said, 'specially if it hap'ned ta be 'gainst his sweet, perfect angel." Concluding his statement with a snicker, Xander's gradual slump to the floor was undone as he popped up, leaning in closer to Rose and Dani. "'N my dad believed her. He believed her. Can y'all believe that?"

Xander took another sip of medicine and rose to his feet, dismissing the lightheaded feeling that greeted him. "_I_ couldn't believe it. Do y'all know what it's like ta have yer dad hate everythin' about ya? Let me tell ya- it sucks. SUCKS. I went'n left before she could stick me in the pig sty."

"Xander, are you alri-"

"But tha' don't matter!" Xander laughed. His words came out fuzzy. Probably Cecelia's fault. One last swallow finished off the thermos, which he tossed over his shoulder. Was that the sound of something breaking? Nah. Couldn't be. "It don't matter at all, cuz I'm'a gonna save everyone! EVERYONE!" One step forward turned gravity against him. _Stupid foot. Feet. _After another brief spell of laughter, Xander pulled himself up again, wrapping his arms around the girls' shoulders and grinning cheekily at them.

"What happened to him?" the daughter of Hades asked in astonishment.

"Psssh! Nothin's wrong with me! I'm fine!" The boy leaned over and pecked her on the cheek to prove it. "There, see?" Her face was turning red. Like… like a strawberry. Strawberries. That seemed important somehow, but Xander didn't want to think about that. He didn't think about much. Just how there were dolphins on the ceiling. _Typical._

Willard parked for the night and joined them. "Yeah, he's fine. I didn't do anything! He arrested his own development. Don't send me to jail! I'm a good guy! See? See? I have a utility belt and everything!" The drunk pointed to his own belt, which was remarkably bare of any sort of utility.

"A utility belt? Why, I reckon the kitty has one too!" Xander clapped. There was a sudden reunion between the floor and his face. He rolled across the floor until the unfortunate cat was within his grasp and then lunged at it, hugging it in his arms. The kitty was his friend. A friend with a utility belt who knew how to do the tango and would battle the zebras for him. _Goshdarnit, zebras!_

Willard stroked his nonexistent mustache. "Kitty needs a theme song!" He started singing a random, poorly orchestrated tune. Xander quickly joined in with what might have been an attempt at harmony.

"Is this what happens to people when they get…um…What's the word?"

"High?" Dani said wryly.

"Yes! When they go up!" Rose clapped triumphantly.

Dani smacked her hand to her forehead. "No, but Xander and Willard…well..." She gestured to them.

"How do you think they got this way?" Understanding dawned on both their faces.

"Willard," they mouthed to each other.

"The thermos," Rose exhaled in disbelief.

"…He spiked the nectar."

"With what?"

"Probably L-"

"DANI," Xander interrupted the conversation. "Your hair…it's like hay. But it's dark. And streaky. Like a skateboard." Athena's son made a fish face. The girls couldn't understand if he was trying to look attractive- which it most certainly was not- or had become distracted and had made his new goal in life to become a fish.

"Definitely that, then," Dani said dryly.

Rose cocked her head, confused at Dani's utter lack of concern. "Is that dangerous?"

"Probably."

"We should help him," Rose suggested hopefully.

Dani guffawed, "As if. When else are we going to see Goody Two Shoes over here in this sort of compromising situation?"

Xander's head perked up from his conversation with the cat. "Are ya talkin' 'bout me? Or are the zebras? They suck. I hope it's _you_ talkin' about me, b- b- beau-tee-ful. I love you. The cat wants my pants. Do ya want my pants? I would be sig… signif… I would give 'em to ya! But not the kitty. HE CAN'T HAVE 'EM!"

"They wouldn't even fit him!" he explained intelligently. "Those bottles were pretty, but this isn't. This is boring. This is booooooooring! Worse than zebras! Worse than Joe the Hobo!"

"Who is Joe? What is a 'hobo?'" Rose queried.

"Joe, Joe, Joe the Hobo! My friend Joe. After Mommy, I found Joe. We lived by a giant BOX! A fun box. _Fun box, fun box, small and square and dark. Fun box, fun box, check out these cool fun locks!_" He ended the short song with jazz hands. "Big green metal box. Yucky food. Fun toys. Spinny wheels and shiny bells. Pretty bottles…Joe drank lots of pretty bottles…" His eyes darkened and glazed over as he curled his knees to his chest. "Joe, why would you give a kid a bottle? Why, Old Joe? Why? Drinking buddies forever, right?" Willard wondered pitifully at the curtains. "Momma had enough colors. Enough already. I know she saw the sun. The sun always wants you to dance. Dance on the sidewalk, Mommy, not the street! NO, THE CARS!" He collapsed, sobbing.

Dani and Rose exchanged a disbelieving glance. Rose knelt beside him and soothed, "Hush, hush, Willard. Joe is gone."

Willard's haunted eyes widened. He shook his head vigorously. "No, no, no, no, not after the monsters came. Not after the monster, no no nonononono. No more Joe. No Joe, no Joe, no Joe." He repeated the chant with empty eyes.

"Will-Willard?" Xander hiccupped, concerned. "Willard, them zebras're tryin' ta eat ya. YALL'RE MEAN!" He stood up once again and stumbled over to the older boy. Leaning over so that their eyes met and using Willard's shoulders for balance he began to smile. "Willard, I ain't gonna let them there zebras eat ya, so ya don' hafta cry. Here!" Xander let go, falling to the floor yet again.

"What is he… Oh, for the love of Hades…" Dani groaned.

"Take my pants! Now the kitty can't have 'em and ya'll can be safer'an an armadilla in a foxhole!" Xander exclaimed as he tossed his jeans in Willard's face.

Willard grinned through his tears and put the pants over his head. "Thanks, X-Man. Your superpower must be Pants Giving. Hey, a holiday! Pantsgiving! Here, take mine!"

"That's okay, he doesn't need them!" Dani screeched, turning away from the boys. "Rose, please remind me to tell my brother never to get high around me."

Rose was pale as a sheet. She'd hardly ever been around the male gender and now they shamelessly- albeit drunkenly- undressed in front of her.

Willard held the kitty by the hilt and tapped it to both of Xander's shoulders. "You are officially inducted into the Brotherhood of Pantsgiving. What is our first order of business?"

"Pants!" Xander shouted the organization's motto with gusto, tying the drunk's jeans around his neck like a cape. "I AM X-MAN! Come on, Willard, we hafta save the city!" He jumped to his feet triumphantly, but gravity promptly brought him down to ground level once more.

"YEAH! Rock and roll, Pants Man!"

"You too, Super Pants!"

They shouted together: "PANTS TWINS UNITE!"

"You know what we need? We need Pantsmen."

"MINIONS!" Xander squealed. "Enlist the giraffes! And the kitty! If we join forces, the zebras will bow to our will! They will pay for what they have done to Pants-kind!"

What Rose and Dani heard was, "MINIONS 'RAFFES KIT THE JOIN WILL PAY PANTS." Willard responded to Xander's racket in kind.

"That's it," Dani declared. "The party's over."

"On three," Rose said from behind the boys.

Willard quoted, "Thou shalt count not to one, not to two, not to four, but the number thou shalt count to shalt be-"

"THREE!" Dani shouted, exasperated.

Xander's world stopped spinning as it faded around him.

"You're gonna have one heck of a morning, Cowboy."

**~O~O~O~**

**Rose: … o.o**

**Us: W-**

**Dani: Talk to either of us and the Grim Reaper himself won't be able to count how many knives are sticking out of your chest.**


	22. Chapter TwentyOne

**Chapter 21**

When Xander woke up, he didn't immediately open his eyes. He lay there and evaluated how he felt. He felt sore just about everywhere and his head, good gods, his head felt like it was going to split open. _What happ-_

_Bathroom. _His eyes popped open. _**Bathroom!**_ Xander practically fell out of the bed in his mad dash to reach the bathroom, his stomach lurching in agony. He keeled over the bathroom trash can, unable to even get to the toilet before the illness crashed into him harder than an eighteen wheeler. With a groan, Xander kicked the door closed and began to cradle the trash can as he proceeded to throw up again and again…and again.

With a final wretch he pulled himself up with the side of the sink. His throat was on fire, and the taste in his mouth was as sickening as his step-mother's cooking. When he glimpsed in the mirror he nearly fell backwards. It wasn't pleasant.

To say the least, his fading black eye (courtesy of Willard) was suddenly not the most pressing issue. His face was pale and drenched in sweat. His eyes were bloodshot, dark circles underneath. He ran a shaky hand through hair that stood straight up…on the right side of his head. After taking into account the excessive drool on the side of his cheek and the pair of unfamiliar jeans around his neck, he turned his head away from the mirror in disgust. _What the heck happened to me?_

The boy stumbled out of the bathroom, rubbing his head.

Rose sat at the table, sipping coffee from a chipped mug. "Happy Pantsgiving," she greeted nonchalantly.

"Wh… what… I…" Xander stuttered. He finally decided that one particular question was more pressing than any other. "Rose…where are my pants?"

She cracked up. "Rose? Come on, Rose. Seriously, where are they?!" The RV swerved; the table rocked violently to the side and her coffee flew through the air. Instead of spilling, it grew hazy and colorful.

A rainbow formed before Xander. "Hel- Oh. Oh, my."

Xander swallowed hard. "Uh… hi… Mom…"

Rose laughed harder.

"Xander…" Her motherly tone panicked him as she stretched out the word, ordering explanation.

He stammered for words, his eyes darting around, hoping _something_ would help him make sense of things. "Um… giraffes?"

A balled up pair of jeans hit his head at a high speed. It was so hard to not fall sideways. "Xander! Put on your pants!" Willard shouted, unnecessarily loud. Xander winced. Dani catcalled from the driver's seat.

"Well… uh… ya see… I would love to explain what happened, but I…I reckon I…don't know…" he responded sheepishly.

"Figure it out in the next ten seconds," she threatened in a cold tone only mothers can manage.

"Ten…Nine…Eight…" Dani murmured, smirking.

"Okay! Okay! Um…" Xander closed his eyes and began to backtrack. _Alright, there was Lamia, then we came back to the RV, then Rose fixed my arm, then… then…we celebrated Pantsgiving! ...Ugh! That don't make no sen-I mean, that doesn't make any sense! _"Well. There was a… um… a hobo named Joe. And a flyin' cat. And a zebra. And we were superheroes. And… I don't really…" He ran a hand across his face and groaned. He felt like being sick again. "Um… sorry, ma'am."

Athena looked him in the eye. "Xander, everyone you know will die in five days. Until then, they trust you with their lives." There was a heavy pause as she took in his appearance again. She sighed and rubbed her temple. "Maybe they shouldn't." The rainbow faded. Silence reigned.

Nobody moved, least of all Xander. The half-bloods were used to their worlds rushing by in blurs of action, yet it seemed as though, for once, everything stopped.

The daughter of Hades fidgeted first and cleared her throat. "Hey… are you okay?" She glanced at the boy in the center of the RV nervously and swallowed.

"What?" Xander's head turned to her, his reaction time seriously delayed. "Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Fine. We should… um…"

"Plan?" Dani offered up weakly.

"Yeah. Yeah, plan." Xander rubbed his eyes then slid into the seat opposite from Rose at the table. "Plan. We need a plan. Uh… well…Where're we goin'?"

"New Orleans," Rose informed him.

Xander nodded slowly and reached under the table for his backpack. He popped two squares of ambrosia quickly into his mouth, the effects mimicking that of an effective medication. "New Orleans, huh? Do we know what buildin'?"

"Le Pavillon Hotel."

"Fancy," Xander remarked wryly. He swallowed the last of the ambrosia then adjusted his position so that his head lay over the side of the seat upside-down. Letting the blood rush to his head, he shut his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, his mind starting to return to its typical speed. After several moments Xander opened one eye and grinned up at Rose. "Got it. Now, will someone please explain what happened last night?"

Dani and Rose glanced sideways at each other…and busted out laughing.

"Guys? Umm, guys?"

**~O~O~O~**

**Rachel: Harsh, Athena, harsh.**

**Dani: *slow clap* She has my vote for Mom of the Year.**

**Rose: Wait until you meet Hecate.**

**Dani: What's she again? Goddess of Hogwarts or something?**

**Rose: Magic, yes, and Crossroads. **

**Dani: Hey, Rose, what are your powers, anyway? You haven't used them yet.**

**Rose: Think about it.**

**Monica: Um…Did your mother even give you powers?**

**Rose: She granted me an aptitude for brewing potions, which in the modern context means that I make a great cup of tea.**


	23. Chapter TwentyTwo

**Chapter 22**

**Er…Remember what we said about references a while back? If you recognize it, it's not ours.**

"Was that necessary?" The soot-smudged redhead coughed and clutched at her heart.

Dani's leather jacket was in shreds. She cursed colorfully under her breath.

Xander fared no better- his hair was singed and one shoe was missing. He couldn't speak, but he felt his eyes ought to be casting laser beams at the drunk who was, unsurprisingly, very drunk.

Willard grinned wolfishly. "Wasn't it?"

They groaned as another _**BOOM!**_rang out over the apocalyptic warfare ensuing around them.

**A few hours earlier**

"How many and where?" Xander asked Rose as she exited the hotel doors.

"There are two humanoid Metallik bellhops in the lobby and five Metallik wolves in the dining room."

Xander nodded, relieved both that Rose hadn't been caught on her brief scouting and that they now knew what they were up against. "Alright, that's fine. You said she's in the Presidential Suite? That's going to be near the top. Okay. We can't go in together, that would be obvious. Hmm… Here's what we're going to do: Willard, you go in first and create some kind of distraction to get the Metalliks off our tail. The rest of us will get there undetected and we can get to the top without a hitch. If you manage to lose the Metalliks, Willard, meet up with us. Got it? Any questions?"

Willard dolefully swished the contents of his bottle around. "I might need to make a quick stop. Mother Theresa over there made a dent in my supply." He made a face. "I haven't blacked out in days. _DAYS._"

Rose blew her bangs out of her eyes. "Because of _Mother Theresa_, you have a hand to drink that demon's bile with." Her too-sugary tone was almost scary.

"SHHH. Hilly has feelings, ya know. She tastes like strawberries, doesn't she? Doesn't she?" Willard crooned, stroking the bottle of Strawberry Hill.

"You are not going to 'make a quick stop', do you hear me? After Echidna's dead you can raid the hotel's overpriced and pretentious bar, but if I see a single Metallik coming after me, it will be your head!" Dani growled, emphasizing her point with a forceful jab at Willard's chest. Her expression lightened to a mischievous grin as she pulled her leather jacket onto her shoulders and drew her lighter. "I got your back, Cowboy. Let's kill some stuff." With her point made, the daughter of Hades strolled through the hotel's doors and took position.

Xander checked the number of pedestrians in the lobby. He counted a young couple that was checking in, a trio of business men, and an elderly man asleep on a loveseat. _Hopefully they won't get caught in the crossfire._ "Willard. Thirty seconds." Willard picked lint off his shirt in response. "Go!"

Willard straightened his black Armani jacket (which may or may not have been lifted from a distracted businessman's suitcase), brushed off his sleeves, set back his shoulders, and looked for all the world like a dignified man of the upper _upper_ class. Xander almost felt confident in his teammate's ability to pull off a worthy distraction.

He pushed both of the double doors wide open, stood there until enough eyes had turned to him, and promptly screamed at the top of his lungs. He sprinted circles around the lobby, flailing. In seconds, his pin wheeling form had disappeared around the corner that led to the dining room. The shocked staff finally started moving.

The son of Athena blinked only once before moving. "It works. Let's go," he called over his shoulder to Rose. Sure, it wasn't exactly typical, but a distraction was a distraction, and it seemed to work. The lobby was devoid of bloodthirsty metal creatures thanks to Willard, so the only potential halting forces in the room were the gawking, shocked guests…and the vicious hellhounds emerging from behind the front desk.

"Rose! You never mentioned any hellhounds!" Dani shouted as the two sprinted through the open doors of the elevator.

"They're like pets to you, right? Daughter of Hades and all that jazz? So it'll be fine!" Xander rationalized.

That didn't do much to keep the black hounds from snapping at them just as the elevator doors smacked shut.

"Yes, Cowboy. Did I ever mention that my neighbors are also zombies and I invite the Furies over for slumber parties? Of _course_ every single hellhound loves me," Dani exclaimed cheerily. Then she dropped the sarcastic façade. "There are exceptions to every rule," she said seriously.

"This could be a problem, then," Xander interjected grimly. "Not only could it be bad for Willard, but if there are any on the floor it could ruin our element of surprise goin' in."

"Then we kill them. Simple," Dani answered.

"Simple?" Xander repeated blankly.

"Okay, maybe not _simple_, but not impossible. Hopefully."

The elevator bell rang a final time as they reached the top story and the doors slid open to reveal an empty floor with ornate double doors at the end. "Rose, get the door open. Dani, you and I will cover her."

"Wait, I'm going to do the obvious thing? Gee, thanks for enlightening me, Cowboy. I was going to get a snack or something, but thanks to your constant restatement of a plan we went over five times already, I know what to do! Thanks _so_ much," the daughter of Hades commented grouchily.

Rose giggled. When he glowered at her, the ginger widened her eyes and hurried to the door. Seconds later, she waved them over. "Ready." She nocked her bow.

"That was fast." Dani arched a brow.

"Hecate is my mother; locks click for me."

Dani deadpanned, "Was that supposed to be a pun?"

Rose blushed. "No…"

"Great," Xander said quickly, drawing his sword, "now we just need to… not screw up," he finished weakly with a look towards Dani.

"Better. Pretty negative, but better," she laughed, securing a dagger in each hand.

The three pushed open the doors of the suite carefully, taking each step slow. The rooms were intricately decorated with antiques and each piece of furniture looked as though it cost a fortune. "Do you know what room she's in?" Xander whispered to Rose.

"Doesn't matter," Dani interrupted, "I found the monster." She pointed the tip of her knife outwards to a tiny, fuzzy figure curled in the corner of the sitting room that raised its head and growled at the intruders.

"Er…Room service?" Xander attempted hopefully, locking his eyes on the Chihuahua. Apparently the mistress hadn't ordered a turkey dinner, because it began to morph into a thing of nightmares. The chimera possessed the head of a lion, the tail of a serpent, and was in serious need of a breath mint. With his scientist's heart, Xander felt honored to be near it, but his awe would have to be put aside. It had to die.

There was no luxurious moment of quiet before the storm set upon them. Instantly the Chimera leapt forward. Its great maw opened to showcase an imposing array of very sharp teeth. While Xander and Rose dove to either side, Dani remained directly in the creature's path. Before the monster could blink, two blades had been plunged deep into its eye sockets. The wounded creature's roar shook the room. Blinded, the Chimera batted its claws wildly and managed to slam Dani into a wall.

The next seconds were crucial. If it calmed down, it would be able to rely on its serpentine tail's faculties to gauge their whereabouts, a problem that needed to be taken care of.

Xander rolled across the smoothly tiled floor and brandished his sword. Rose had already drawn the snake's attention, so with a swift chop the creature became totally blind.

Problem solved.

"Fire!" Dani's shouted warning was almost a whisper against the Chimera's howls as it set everything in its path aflame.

New problem.

"Find Echidna!" Rose called to Xander.

It made sense. The Mother of All Monsters wouldn't want to stick around while her lavish penthouse was destroyed.

The flames that were spreading quickly across the expensively furnished room made Xander aware that it wasn't the time to be cautious or respectful.So, three solid kicks later, a hole had formed in the mahogany double doors that would lead him to the master bedroom.

"You found it neccccessssary to break the door? How…uncouth. The lasssst hero I sssslayed had much more classsss," hissed the large woman dressed in denim. A forked tongue slipped between her teeth.

"You're the one who locked it," Xander shrugged and drew his sword. Instead of charging, he circled the monstress.

She eyed him warily for a moment, pondering her next move. "What have you done to my ssssweet pet?"

"I think he'll be a _sight_ more timid."

She let off a feral yowl and lunged. Her reflexes were quicker than any he had faced before, and her eyes burned with a deadly vengeance. Without a pause, she thrust out a scaly fist and barely missed Xander, who was unsettled by the way he could hear the air as it passed his ear. He gritted his teeth and twisted across the room. "Look, it's over. Call off the army."

"The army?" The monster's following guffaws chilled the burning room. "By the bloody pits of Tartarussss, you think I'm in charge!"

"Well," Xander stammered, lowering his blade an inch. Doubts clouded his mind. Chiron hadn't been entirely sure. The Metalliks were extremely tech heavy, which wasn't exactly Echidna's pattern; mothers held matters of blood in high standing. The museum guards had practically given Echidna's location to him.

_It ain't her._

The mother of all monsters sneered at Xander, her tongue snaking between her lips hungrily. "Aww, poor child. It issss not fun being wrong, issss it?" Another punch shot toward him, which jolted Xander out of his thoughts and into a smoldering vanity.

"I was…wrong." His voice sounded small and far away. _How was I wrong? What do I do now?_

_Duckin' would be a good start._ Echidna's fist pulverized the plush furniture he'd managed to hide behind to a pile of rubble and fluff. A new wave of flames danced across the walls.

"Pathetic little heroessss." A reptilian claw gripped the back of Xander's shirt and yanked him off the floor and tossed him effortlessly against a wall. "It's almosssst ssssad, that you alwayssss fail."

Xander fought to regain his footing in vain as Echidna wrapped scaly hands around his throat and squeezed, cutting off his airways. "How do you feel, knowing everyone issss going to die… becausssse of you?"

Any oxygen he breathed would be tainted by smoke. That was how he tried to console himself, anyway, as he struggled weakly against her iron grip. Xander could feel the fight draining from his body as his windpipe was crushed by those boulder-like hands.

Then, through rapidly narrowing tunnel vision, he saw his final chance. He used the last bit of strength in his possession to kick the humanoid reptilian's chest. She fell, winded, to the burning ground.

Despite the smoke in his starved lungs, he picked up his blade and staggered to the monster. She looked up at him in panic. "Time for a vacation," he muttered, and stabbed her through the heart.

"Back to my Master," she wheezed just as she collapsed into dust.

Suddenly, an explosion drew his attention to the window. Metalliks fought each other and attacked Echidna's dracanae guards. _What the-?_

He jumped through a line of fire to the foyer, hastily beating a small flame from his sleeve and another from the back pocket of his jeans. "Did ya'll kill- Oh." A large dust bunny dominated the center of the room.

Dani and Rose gaped. "Seriously, Xander? Power Puff Girls? Where do you even find this stuff?" Dani asked incredulously, pointing at his pants.

He looked where the fire had been and clenched his jaw. "Cecilia hated me, okay?" In a poor attempt to change to subject, he asked, "Did ya'll see the courtyard?"

Rose nodded, dumbstruck. Dani looked bemused. For a moment, they stood there, pondering. Finally it dawned on them, as the obvious answer so often did.

"Willard."

They ran.

Willard was singing his favorite drinking song and riding one of the large canine Metalliks with a bottle of fine wine in one hand and a bottle of scotch in the other when the trio found him.

"Isn't it great? I love fire. I love Spot." He patted the remarkably spotless robotic wolf on the shoulder as though it were a dear friend. His childlike smile almost kept Xander at bay. Almost.

"Do ya have any idea what ya've done here?! What're ya ridin'?" The thought of the billions of dollars in damages Willard had undoubtedly caused pained him.

The drunk tipped a little to the side. "Yup! More big crashes coming, Pantsy. HEIGH-HO, SPOT!" He kicked the Metallik's sides and it miraculously obeyed. The others sighed and followed at a jog…until they heard the beep.

"Er…Willard?"

"Giddy up!"

"Is that a bomb?"

"It's a pipe bomb!" he replied cheerily.

Their job became a sprint as they desperately kept up with Willard's loping hound on the way out of the once-beautiful structure.

They almost made it when the blast hit.

Xander's landing was anything but soft. He grimaced and checked to make sure his friends had made it through with their limbs intact.

"Was that necessary?"

**~O~O~O~**

**R & M: Well. That was…er…**

**Dani: That was **_**awesome.**_

**Rose: I beg to differ…**

**Dani: What? I'm a sucker for explosions.**

**Rose: What happened to all of the people left inside the hotel?**

**Dani: Wait, there were people in there? Willard, did you commit mass murder?**

**Willard: …Boom?**


	24. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Chapter 23**

Dani stood, hands on hips, in front of their mangled joy ride. "Well, that's shot to Tartarus."

"I can ride Spot!" Willard piped up helpfully.

"Willard…How'd ya manage…er…what ya managed?" Xander couldn't find words to adequately express the events of the past few hours. "I mean…ya reprogrammed the Metalliks, right? But how?"

"I pushed _buttons!_" Willard squealed.

Dani snorted, "Hear that, Cowboy? All that genius you claim to have stored inside your big head, and a button-pushing psychopath beats you."

Xander fumed. The comment beat his ego firmly into the ground. "Okay, fine. Whatever. Buttons," he grumbled sourly. "But what 'bout them pipe bombs? How in Hades did ya learn'ta make 'em?"

Willard's eyes glazed over and he whispered, as though it were a great secret, "Old Joe was a hobo of many talents."

"Well, did one of them happen to be auto repair?" Dani scoffed rhetorically as she circled the wrecked scrap metal. "Because we officially have no vehicle to get back to camp now." She froze suddenly, turning her head around and focusing her gaze directly on Xander. "We are going back to camp now, aren't we?"

Xander's stomach dropped as he realized he had yet to admit he had been wrong. His subconscious attempt to gulp was met with pain in his scorched throat. "Well… ya see," he murmured under his breath, "there is a chance…a small one…Okay, a very likely chance...that, uh, I mighta been…I was…well, that I was wrong." His eyes passed nervously around the others, a sheepish grimace planted on his face.

Dani raised an eyebrow in confusion. "You were what?"

"Wrong."

"Say that again," she goaded.

Xander shouted irritably, "I was wrong! Okay? It happens!"

While Dani wandered off, cackling like a fool, Willard created a song out of the situation. Rose furrowed her brow. "So who do we go after? She must have told you." At his silence, she tried again. "A location, maybe?" She smoothed a thumb over her right eyebrow in vexation. "A hint?"

"No…nothin'." Xander answered miserably. But something nagged at him…a factor he wasn't seeing…a missing piece. "All she said was somethin' 'bout everybody dyin' and then..." Xander's voice trailed off as the answer seemed to hit him square in the face. "Oh, gods."

"You know," she murmured.

Xander sat down on a piece of debris and rubbed his temples. "Lemme put it this way, Rose: this time, I hope I'm wrong."

She kneeled down by his side, concerned. Her words were softly spoken, but they reassured him a little. "No matter who it is, we can stop them. You would not have been sent on this quest if the gods did not believe you to be capable, Xander."

If he had looked over at that precise moment, he might have seen her blush.

Xander's eyes were aimed nervously at his feet, however, and his hands shook. "Yeah. Sure. Thanks," he answered, brushing the compliment off distractedly. "But somehow, I really don't think we can stop the god of death." He looked up and met Rose's wide eyes with a hollow expression. "Ya heard me. It's Hades. And I thought this mission was a death wish before."

She grabbed his hand between her own. "Xander, you will not die." Conviction bolstered her statement, but it fell on deaf ears. She seemed to realize it, because she elbowed him in the ribs to snap him out of it. Those frosty blue eyes pierced him. "You. Will. Not. Die."

Though he had many, Xander's arguments never left his head. Instead, he merely sighed in defeat, shooting a half smile at the girl who always managed to know the right thing to say. "Thanks," he whispered. "You're really... well... I mean... anyway," he flubbed, realizing that he did not know the right things to say. "Just... thanks. That means a lot." Xander grinned at the girl, trying to convey how much her support really meant to him while taking in the ash smudging her face.

"You've, uh," Xander's hand lifted, trying to indicate which spots were dirt covered before giving up with a laugh. "Never mind. You look fine."

Her lip quirked upward. "You do too." She released his hand and muffled a giggle with her own. Her laugh was cut off, though, when Dani started emphatically beating the remains of their ruined RV.

"You should speak with her. She will understand." Xander glanced over. Something about her demeanor bothered him, but he couldn't put his finger on it and forgot the flash of intuition when she stood and brushed herself off. Rose flashed him a wry grin. "Or not…It was nice knowing you, Xander. Maybe Willard will be able to save the world, hm?"

"It wouldn't be the most shockin' thing he's done. I'm sure of that," Xander added seriously, rising to his feet.

Talking to Dani. Under the current circumstances, Xander felt it would be as scary as fighting her father. When he approached her, she was finishing off another piece of the RV, breaking a large chunk of burned material in half. She wasn't just destroying debris without a purpose, though. Xander recognized a plan when he saw one- she was looking for something.

"Whatcha lookin' for?" he asked quietly.

"Doesn't matter. I probably won't find it," she replied sourly, tossing a charred piece of cardboard behind her.

_Just spit it out._ "Look, Dani… I think… um… I think… I think it's Hades."  
>The daughter of said god dropped another piece of rubble from her hands and turned, her dark eyes staring into Xander's. "What?" she asked softly.<p>

"The leader of the army… I'm… I'm pretty sure it's Ha-"

"Why?" Dani demanded before Xander could even finish. She was moving closer to him, but she didn't look murderous. Just perplexed.

"Echidna was in New Orleans, a city featurin' cemeteries and ghost sightins'. Then there were the hellhounds. And she said she was goin' back to her master as she died which means he would be in the Underworld, and-" Xander froze. Dani's hand now rested on his shoulder and her face had moved mere inches away from his.

"Xander," she began calmly, "you are the smartest guy I know." He could feel his cheeks growing warm and red, his feet shifting his weight around anxiously. By reflex he began to look away only to have her cup his face with a gentle hand, forcing him to look her in the eye. "That said: you are wrong." She patted his cheek with a smile then turned, sauntering away from the scene.

He stood immobile for a moment before her absence hit him, then ran after her to make up for it. "Well… even if I am wrong… maybe he could lead us to whoever it really is," Xander offered up hopefully. After all, being wrong about Echidna lead him to Hades.

Dani's poker-face shattered revealing an expression of pure disbelief. "First you think my father is a bloodthirsty maniac and now you think he's helpful? Do you even know who Hades is?" she laughed incredulously.

"Yeah, I do. He's a lead, like it or not," Xander replied with a shrug. "I'm not too thrilled about it either."

"So, what is your plan, exactly?" Dani's words rose in volume and she flung her hands into the air. "You just want to waltz down to the Underworld and accuse my dad of genocide? Do you really think that's going to go over well?"

"No, but-"

"No! Just no! That wouldn't go over well at all! Because, if you're right, he would kill you. If you're wrong, he would still kill you for saying it. And if he doesn't kill you, something else in the Underworld would kill you!"

Xander couldn't help but smirk at the stark differences between the two girls who accompanied him on this quest. "Look," he replied gently, "this ain't news to me. I could die- I get it. But the quest was to stop the army from killin' all of us. If we don't try and do what we can, then every one of us is gonna be a stuck pig in the end- you and I included. Would you prefer that?"

"Yes."

"Huh?"

Looking at Dani in that instant was like stepping into another dimension. For the briefest moment, she was not herself, but a girl broken apart by fear. Yet, as soon as the moment came, it passed, leaving in its place someone so furious, Xander could feel his stomach knot. She stomped up to him, a cold chill following as she did.

"Yes, Xander, I WOULD prefer that. I would prefer that, because, believe it or not, I don't want to have to watch my father MURDER YOU!" Her hand flew through the air, impacting with a hard slap on the same cheek she had touched so tenderly minutes before. After taking a final, pained look at Xander, she left, leaving the scene of the wreckage in haste.

Deciding to let her cool off, Xander returned to Rose dejectedly, rubbing the side of his face. "Yeah," he murmured, "she understood _real_ well."

When Xander returned in miserable defeat, Rose pushed herself to her feet and glided over to the frustrated Dani. He only heard bits of their conversation.

For a while, Rose stood at her shoulder silently. He wondered if Dani even knew she was there, but a few minutes of pensive quiet later, the girl in black had shouted, "Who does he think he is? That son-of-a-god can't just go around accusing people's parents of intended massacres!"

Rose's ever-soft voice was chopped up by the wind. "He only meant…went about it…calm, Dani." He swore he also heard something that sounded suspiciously like, "Males are insufficiently equipped with common sense," but it could have just as easily been, "Pass the clam chowder," so he ignored it.

Dani laughed. "As long as he doesn't do the talking, we might live through it."

"…inclined to agree….father…kinder to his own…"

Xander groaned and gave up on listening in. He had screwed up pretty badly, but now they were laughing about it. It just didn't make sense to him.

In any case, Dani agreed to go to the Underworld to talk to her father on the condition that he kept his mouth shut. He vocally agreed, Dani growled, and Rose sighed, rubbing her temple.

**~O~O~O~**

**Willard: I made a song. It's puuuurdy.**

**Rose: How very…nice, Willard.**

**Willard: Wanna liiiiiisten?**

**Dani: Good gods, no.**

**Willard: Once I lived in a dumpster,**

**And the bottle was my only friend,**

**But big Hobo Joe said,**

"**Sonny, you gotta get cash to fly."**

**So I took a box of fireworks-**

**Dani: If you keep singing, I will shove one of Spot's paws down your throat.**

**Willard: …**

**Rose: Is it healthy to stifle his creativity?**

**Dani: He isn't five years old, Rose...**

**Rose: Forgive me. It is difficult to tell.**

**Xander: …Am I really the only one wonderin' how those fireworks were used?**


	25. Chapter Twenty-Four

**Chapter 24**

Willard's head hung in the open air as he panted noisily and howled at the moon.

They had not stolen a car. They had left any RV's untouched. There were no yachts to speak of in their possession. All of those things were 'too boring,' as Dani so eloquently put it.

No, they had stolen _motorcycles_. From a biker gang. A biker gang that happened to be named "Fist of El Diablo," because what speaks giant teddy bear than a bunch of guys with more scars than brain cells?

So now Xander rode atop a- it pained him to say- hot pink motorcycle…with a side car. It had belonged to "Deadly Deb" and her sidekick "Brutal Brutus." By the time he'd gotten over his aversion to stealing and was desperate to leave, Dani had already claimed the black one and Rose had mounted the red one. Willard had declared that Spot was tired so he had to have somewhere to sit, and no one quite trusted him on the accident-prone vehicles.

It seemed that being publicly humiliated was just Xander's lot in life.

The hours on the road passed by quickly, much to the groups' surprise. In what seemed to be only a few moments- perhaps due to the laziness of some sort of metaphysical beings- and a few catcalls directed Xander's way later, they had arrived. They found themselves in front of an unsuspecting building in L.A. in the dead of night.

"DOA Recordin' Studios?" Xander remarked. He was ecstatic to finally dismount from the embarrassing vehicle.

"Yep," Dani answered, pulling up to the curb with astonishing finesse. She had agreed to talk to Xander again after he was harassed by some guys leaving a bar in Arizona, who found the pink bike very amusing. He could still hear them complaining loudly about how tired they were of the "bar scene" and attempting to hit on him before they realized through their drunken hazes that he was, in fact, a teenage boy.

"We're going in through the front door." Dani's voice drew him out of his nightmarish reverie.

Willard commanded Spot to sit and stay. According to Dani, he was too big to fit on the boat.

"Will Charon let us through?" Rose asked, concerned.

Dani shrugged offhandedly, approaching the glass double doors. "It's the safest entrance there is if I'm going to smuggle you in. Besides, that guy loves me." She tossed the group a confident grin and threw the door open. "Hey, Charon!" she shouted warmly. The attention of everyone inside shifted to them at once.

"So much for bein' subtle," Xander mumbled.

"I know what I'm doing. Just stay behind me and don't talk to anyone," Dani hissed back, sauntering toward the imposing man behind the podium, wearing an incredibly expensive-looking Italian suit.

"Just when I thought my job couldn't get any worse, the Underworld brat herself shows up," Charon growled, his fury apparent even behind his reflective sunglasses.

_So much for Charon lovin' her._

Dani crossed her arms over her chest and groaned. "What? Don't tell me you're still angry." From the man's expression, it was clear that he was still very angry about whatever it was. "Come on! That was five years ago. I was ten!"

Charon muttered something that sounded suspiciously like a wish for Dani's death to arrive before she talked him to his own demise.

"What was that?" she snarled.

With teeth clenched and a tight jaw, Charon answered her. "Just tell me why you're here, Miss Kyle." He spat his words as though they were venomous.

Dani turned and indicated the other three living people in the room. "We need to get to the Underworld."

"You're joking," Charon laughed coldly. "You know better than most that living mortals aren't allowed in the Underworld."

"I'm allowed," she retorted.

"But _they_ aren't."

"Look, we're on a quest. There's a huge metal army coming and if we don't get down there-"

"It's going to destroy all of the godlings. Yeah. I'm aware." Charon nodded. "It's already starting to happen. I'm sure you are aware, Danaë."

The daughter of Hades paled. Her eyes flicked nervously to Xander. "What does he mean, Dani?" Xander questioned uneasily.

"Hasn't she told you, boy? Demigods are dying already. She can hear it, you know. Look over there. Maybe you'll even recognize some of them." Charon pointed across the room to a small group of teenage spirits, watching intently from a corner.

They were campers. People Xander had passed by every day now floated before him, faded and dead. "Andrew?" he breathed, noting his cabin leader and half-brother near the front.

"Hey, Xander," the spirit whispered back, drained of enthusiasm. "Went scouting. Didn't go so well."

Xander turned, his eyes desperately trying to search Dani for answers, only to witness her leaning over Charon's podium, gripping the man by his expensive jacket.

"You know, the last group of living heroes trying to gain an entrance from me paid. They paid _quite_ well," the ferryman chortled.

"Do I really look like I'm willing to bribe you? You will let us in _now._" the daughter of Hades roared.

Charon shook his head. "Maybe I'll simply inform your father of what you're planning to do. Would you like that?" he threatened silkily.

It took an instant for Dani to pounce on the man, press her knife against his neck, and pin him to the floor. "I am NOT playing around, Charon! Xander, Rose, Willard, get in the elevator!" she yelled. For a brief moment, nobody moved. It wasn't until she turned her head toward Xander, Rose, and Willard that they saw the glint of death in her eyes and headed hurriedly toward the elevator doors.

"Wait! Xander! Guys! Don't leave us!" The dead campers began to whimper, reaching out toward the three. "Take us with you! Please! Rose! Willard! Xander! Don't leave us here! Please! PLEASE! WAIT!" They were growing vicious, following the three into the elevator, clawing at them with their chilled, mist-like hands. Despite efforts to push them away, the dead floated closer.

"I'm dead, Xander," Andrew said softly, "I'm dead because you're failing. You're failing! Xander! Take me with you! You owe me! I'm dead, Xander! Please! Please! I'm dead because of your failure; the least you can do is take me with you! Please!" His soulless eyes peered at Xander as he begged and pleaded desperately.

Before Xander even had time to say anything, Dani stepped into the elevator. Her presence sent the spirits flying out as though it repelled them. Furiously, she slammed the only button in the elevator with her fist. The doors closed as the box began to descend.

"They can't ever go peacefully," she grumbled.

Xander closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He didn't have time to collapse now. There were still living half-bloods who needed him to keep it together. Unbidden, his mother's words flashed through his mind.

"_Xander, everyone you know will die in four days. Until then, they trust you with their lives. Maybe they shouldn't."_

The guilt riddled holes in him.

A small hand grabbed his hand and squeezed it. He looked down at the pretty redhead and squeezed her hand back. No words were said, but it was the comfort he had needed.

The elevator stopped its descent, morphed into the ferryboat, and carried them across the River Styx. From the black water to the shadowed walls and distant ceiling, everything was lit dimly or not at all as though Hades were trying to hide horrible nothings from their view. For the longest time, the only noises were that of the water parting and the discarded hopes of the dead that splashed against the sides of the boat.

"All the things that go bump in the night," Willard mused in a grave voice. The past two days on the road had been hard on the drunkard; Xander only allowed him to have a fraction of his normal supply, so gone were the nonsensical outbursts and confused slurs. He was in a mostly sober mind and decidedly unhappy about it.

"Show respect," Rose murmured, laying a hand over his to hush him. He pinched the bridge of his nose but refrained from further comment.

The boat docked onto the shore with a thud and the four teammates piled out slowly. As they trudged up the small, bare hill, Xander could see the Walls of Erebus coming into view. The view was not unlike the Berlin Wall, if it had been built into a cliff. Hundreds of robed people who waited in lines down below were herded by skeletal guards and a massive three-headed Rottweiler on their way to the Judgment Pavilion. Xander took a good look around. Where he was and what he was doing had now truly hit him.

"You okay? You're freaking me out," Dani mumbled, coming up behind him. "I mean, you look like you're trying to figure out which line is the best so you can take it."

Xander smirked and shrugged. "Might as well prepare while we're here," he answered dryly.

"Morbid," she replied nonchalantly. She slid down the slope ahead of them. He couldn't help but notice, even in this pressured situation, how incredibly beautiful Dani was. The way she talked, looked, moved…He was reminded in flashes of his earlier escapades in which he tried to compliment her and ended up comparing her hair to- was it a skateboard? Gods, he couldn't live with that. She had to know he hadn't meant that. She had to know he thought her hair was pretty like- like- like the night sky! It was as pretty as a shooting star streaking the night sky! Inwardly, he grimaced. _Maybe I oughta leave the similes alone._

He still had to talk to her. It was an irresistible compulsion. He caught up and walked next to her, trying to keep her quick pace. "Dani? Um…It's…Er…" He could kick himself for the bumbling idiocy his motor functions produced.

"Spit it out, Cowboy." Her tone was harsher than he'd expected. Still, he had to brave her cynicism.

"Your hair. I, uh, wanted ya to know that it _is_ pretty."

The speed at which she turned her head to him was astonishing. Even more astonishing was how deadly she seemed. "Xander, we are in the Underworld. An army is destroying people. Do you really think this is the time to make a move?"

"Well… no… um…"

"Whatever, Cowboy," she retorted, quickening her pace to get away from him.

"Look… I just," Xander fumbled, his words knotting up once again. _I'm such an idiot._ He placed his hand over his face, hoping to keep it there for remainder of his life in order to hide his shame.

"Wait," Dani's voice rang out softly, and Xander removed his hand to see her. "Thanks. That _was_ kind of sweet," she mumbled, pushing her hair out of her face with a faint grin.

"Uh… no problem," he breathed, his chest swelling in happiness. Had he actually said something halfway decent to Dani? It seemed he had, and it felt spectacular.

**Yeah, we broke the fourth wall. Hehe… . **

** ~Monica and Rachel**


	26. Chapter Twenty-Five

**Chapter 25**

"My gods. We're goin' past THAT?"

"Yep." Dani's answer was short and confident, but her reluctance to move closer to the humongous beast showed otherwise. Three vicious canine heads growled at the dead passing around its body. Each dog looked more bloodthirsty than the last.

"Is that, er, safe?" Xander decided that he could no longer consider himself a dog lover.

"Gods, no," the daughter of Hades responded lightly. "None of this is." She took a few cautious steps forward. The six eyes of Cerberus fixed upon her. "Just go when he's distracted and leave everything else to me."

"Are you sure that you do not require help?" Rose asked in her perpetually quiet voice.

"I'll be alright."

Xander swallowed hard. Watching the girl he had _liked_ since childhood get mauled and eaten by her own father's guard dog wasn't something he really wanted to experience. He tried to convince himself that she knew what she was doing, but each time, more pessimistic variables entered his head. "Dani… be careful," he mumbled.

The girl grinned solemnly at him and took one last step forward. "I'll do my best."

Cerberus leapt toward her. Its three mouths gnashed towards the suspiciously alive girl in front of it. An amplified, unanimous bark resonated through the chamber. Instead of fighting it, though, Dani set down her knives and held out a hand.

"Dani! What are you doing?" Xander shouted. He unsheathed his sword, ready to stab the rabid creature himself.

The tri-headed monster prepared to kill as it had been trained before an uncharacteristic softness came over each face. There was recognition in his eyes.

"Good dog," Dani laughed. She petted the beast as though it were an overgrown puppy. "It's been too long. Guys, you can come on over now."

Willard was at Dani's side in a whirl of black and orange. He poked one head's nose twice. It blinked and sneezed. He said seriously, "You have a big head." The head looked to its brothers and back to Willard. It whined. "Big dogs die young. Be small, okay?" The dog he was talking to pinned him to the ground and licked him with its huge tongue. Xander and Rose watched the exchange from a few paces away, thoroughly confused. Dani shook her head, chuckling, and scratched a different dog's ears. _Gods, she's beautiful._

The ground shook beneath them. "What the-" Xander cocked his head to listen. "Um, Dani? Is that normal?" She opened her mouth to reply.

_**CRACK!**_

"That's not a _good_ sound…" Willard said ominously.

A long line grew across the cavern floor as the earth rumbled. Rose grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the widening crack. He covered his head to protect it from any pieces of falling rubble.

Eventually, the ground stilled. He stood up and took in the destruction around them. Debris from the high ceilings surrounded them. Miraculously, neither he nor Rose had been injured. They were covered in dust, but a more pressing problem than cleanliness was called to Xander's attention. There was a wide gash in the floor. Cerberus stood on the other side, wagging his tail. "Dani? Willard?"

The less-than-drunk drunkard stood first. "I need a drink," he complained.

"Shut up," came a muffled growl. Dani rose and brushed herself off. She surveyed the situation. "No crossing this thing. It extends way too far. You guys are going to have to go the long way around."

"The, uh, long way?" Xander repeated nervously. He had a sick feeling that he knew what she was referring to, even though he desperately hoped he wasn't right.

"Through the Fields of Punishment."

He was right.

"You can make your way through until you get past the Judgment Pavilion. We'll meet up in Asphodel. After this mess, there shouldn't be many guards around there to give you trouble. You'll be fine." She almost sounded like she believed what she was saying.

Xander peered over the edge of the crevice that extended down deep in the Earth. After thinking it over, he realized there wasn't a way to cross over that would be both fast and safe. A jolly walk through the Fields of Punishment was their only option. He glanced quickly at Rose and shrugged. "I reckon that's what we hafta do, then."

Dani grabbed Willard's arm and began to walk away from the break in the ground. "See you on the other side," she called over her shoulder.

The son of Athena nodded and turned. He had gotten no more than five feet away before he heard Dani's voice shouting back at him.

"Hey, Cowboy, it's your turn to be careful!"

He smirked. Maybe the worry that laced her words was only a delusion. He found that even if it was, he didn't mind. "I'll do my best."

The Fields of Punishment was the most horrific place he had ever laid eyes on. It didn't matter which way you turned your head or if you squinted your eyes shut; you could still smell the trash, hear the screams, and feel the evil that pervaded the very air.

"I'm gonna be sick," Xander groaned as he and Rose hurried past a pen containing a man whose legs were slowly being devoured by what appeared to be mutated pigeons.

Rose hesitated and then took his hand. He squeezed hers gratefully. Any reminder of life in this terrible region of the Underworld was more than welcome.

They passed many other such tortures before the Judgment Pavilion came into sight. Xander breathed a deep sigh of relief.

Rose screamed.

A man, bloody and battered, was clinging to her arm with an iron grip. The girl kicked him, punched him, slapped him, and screamed all through it. Xander tried to help, but then the man smiled at him. He had three teeth that Xander could see. His eyes were replaced by empty sockets. The lids were sewed open.

He found himself unable to touch the mutilated monster. Athena's son was rooted to the spot. Finally, Rose quieted. Her chest heaved and her sobs were heavy. Xander wanted to comfort her, but he didn't know how.

"Please, please, please just let me go. Please let me go. I got away. Let me go," she begged the man.

He chuckled throatily. "My daughter. My spiteful daughter." Every word was a hiss. He twisted her arm and brought her to her knees. She gasped softly. "You left me all alone, little one. You twisted me into this husk of a human. I am cursed because of_ you_, insolent child!" He spit in her face.

Xander glared at him, sickened. This was Rose's father?

"Artemis, Hecate, Hades, mercy…" She cried, head bowed.

"Yes, call for your gods. They are useless. They abandoned you as your mother abandoned me." His venomous tone softened and he gently tilted her chin upward. Tears streamed freely from her wide blue eyes. He murmured silkily, "You are worthless. Do you remember, child? None shall love you, for you are the spawn of a cursed man. Ah, but you had forgotten. Selfish child." He backhanded her cheek.

Blood flew from her mouth and her head jerked to the side. He released her arm and she dropped to the ground. He waited a moment and yanked her up by her braid. "My lovely daughter, why do you destroy me? Passion is in your veins. Is it hate, darling, or is love your true weakness? It all comes from the heart." Something glinted in Rose's eyes. He cackled. "The story of the dead, and you are the author. You are an assassin, a hopeless-"

"No."

"Yes, and now she decides to show courage. Your passion cannot do me further injury! I am invincible!"

"No, father," she spat. "You are dead. Hecate left your madness, not the name you gave me."

The mutilated man cupped her face and splayed his other hand over her heart. "'If only that were true,' you think. You think that because you know, even though you refuse to accept this truth. You know that my blessing has ruined you. Dare you speak my love aloud?"

Pain flitted across her features. She straightened her shoulders. "Love and hate are the same in the world of war. Death cares not for the distinction, only for the souls that remain. The name I now bear is not any creation of yours; it is what I will become." Her cold tone matched her piercing eyes.

Xander was completely out of his element. Son of the goddess of wisdom or no, this conversation was nonsense to him. He knew it had to be important from their intense manners, but all that mattered to him was that his friend was safe. "Rose! Get away from him!"

Something shifted in the girl's expression. Her father, on the other hand, looked greatly amused. "The thorns are suited, but the petals wither." He grinned as though he had struck a fatal blow.

The redhead tore herself from his grasp and leapt to her feet. "I am alive in a dead man's world. There is no place for you in this heart, even in suffering."

"And yet, my daughter, it is because of you that I am in this accursed land."

The petite girl clenched her fists. "I am no daughter of yours." She stalked over to Xander and took his hand once more. He couldn't help but notice the blood that now stained her pale skin where the scarred man had touched her. He smiled at her reassuringly. Her face was blank.

They ran.

Xander heard the wrathful creature cry out, "You are what I named you, O Destroyer of Men!"

~O~O~O~

Rachel: Xander, you kind of suck at that whole 'meeting the parents' portion of a relationship.

Rose: On the contrary. Anyone would run from my father. Many did.

Dani: Sounds like you guys had a good time at Thanksgiving dinner.

Monica: Rose. I'm doing this for your own good…And mine.

Xander: Er, Monica, why're ya pointin' a gun at Rose?

Monica: Didn't you _listen?_

Rachel: STABBY!

Dani: Oh great, now they both have weapons.

Rose: I…I…I didn't mean for this to happen! Not any of it!

Monica: That doesn't make your end any less bloody, daughter of Hecate. Now lie down and die…before the worst comes to pass.

Rachel: STABBYYYY!

Xander: I know they retain original character rights, but is this really okay…?


	27. Chapter Twenty-Six

**Chapter 26**

When they were a safe distance away and had slowed to a walk, a hoard of questions spilled out before Xander could stop them. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you? Who was he? What's goin' on? I'm lost, Rose." He ended weakly and shook his head, trying to compose himself. "Sorry. It's just… that was so… well… weird. I… I don't understand."

In the flickering light, her eyes looked almost gray. "You are not meant to understand everything in this world, son of Athena," she murmured as if to herself. Then she spoke for his ears. "The monster you saw was my father. He was driven mad with love for my mother, Hecate, and considered me the cause of his suffering. In spite, he named me Dejanira." She shuddered. "It means 'destroyer of men' in my native tongue."

Xander squeezed her hand reassuringly. "I'm sorry," he told her, gently cleaning some of the blood from her face. "It ain't true, what he said, though. You aren't like that." That much Xander knew. Rose didn't have the ability to drive someone so insane. She was far too sweet for that. If that man even thought that she was the cause of his suffering for a minute, he was even crazier than he appeared. "He didn't deserve you as a daughter."

Rose blushed and gazed steadily at the path ahead. She looked pained despite his words- or maybe it was because of them. "That is too kind. You know little of me, Xander Drake. Crofter's is not the only blood on my hands."

He shook his head and smirked. "Rose, I don't know much 'bout ya, 'cause ya won't tell me." Xander understood her wanting to keep secrets- her father didn't seem like someone you'd bring up often- but if her secrets were keeping her from seeing who she was, that was a problem. He stepped to the side, entering Rose's sight once more. "What I do know, though, is that you are not a killer. _You're not like that_. Crofter was gonna kill me that day and you saved me. That's who ya are. His death was an accident, and I'm guessin' that's what happened with the other people ya think ya killed."

Rose met his gaze with an unreadable expression. He guessed shock, but that wasn't quite it. "Thank you," she said softly. A small smile tugged at her lips. "Thank you."

"Uh... you're welcome," he replied just as quietly. Xander patted her on the back and grinned, then jerked his head toward the Judgment Pavilion. "Ready to go?" She nodded and they set off at a jog.

Dani and Willard waited for them. Hades' daughter looked like she had gone half mad and would kill the drunk next to her any given moment. The drunk in question whistled innocently, hands clasped behind his back.

"Oh, gods, what did he do?" Xander asked, taking in Dani's fuming expression.

"Provoked the Furies, started a riot, caused three people to choose rebirth in order to escape him, and went on a manhunt to find Jack Daniels," Dani growled. "What happened to you?" she asked, flipping her hand in the direction of Rose.

The ginger replied quietly, "Just a memory." Dani seemed annoyed at the odd answer, but Willard looked at the girl sympathetically and put a hand on her shoulder. Xander wondered if their strange understanding was mutual.

"You're less now," he said sadly. Rose pushed her bangs out of her eyes.

"I will be more. Someday," she replied.

He grinned and bobbed his head. "Sooner than later!" Rose smiled gratefully.

Watching felt intrusive, so Xander turned to Dani. She arched an eyebrow, having seen the nonsensical scene as well. "Memories, huh?"

"Yeah, pretty disturbin' ones," he answered. The mutilated man's sewn lids and black eye sockets were still vivid images in his mind.

"Doesn't sound like you enjoyed the Fields of Punishment," Dani laughed.

"No, it was very educational," Xander decided with a wry grin. "I learned exactly where I _don't_ want to end up."

Dani crossed her arms. "You won't end up there. I see you as an 'Isles of Bliss' man. Try for the heroic journey thing three times."

"Ya think I'm gonna try doin' this three times?" he asked with a snicker, gesturing at their bleak surroundings.

She rolled her dark eyes and shrugged. "Fine. Maybe not. But you're about to do it once." She pointed up a hill where the black and bronze Palace of Hades loomed.

Xander had never wished to be somebody else more.

As they walked through the Fields of Asphodel, Willard wove through the ranks of cloaked spirits. At some point, he returned wearing a dark green toga that was close in shade to his eyes, and his singed black blazer was tied around his head. He also wore mismatched polka dotted socks with sandals.

"…Dani?" Xander asked, disturbed by the new outfit.

"Yeah?"

"Willard met Jack Daniels, didn't he?"

Dani grimaced. "I really don't want to talk about it."

"TOGA, TOGA, TOGA!" Willard shouted and pumped his fists, rejuvenated by a recently ingested round of shots. Xander smacked his palm to his face.

Dani guided them through the dank hallways of Hades' palace, saying little. She knocked out guards at every corner and grew more tired. Each wrong turn made her visibly more irritated. "He changed the layout again," she grumbled when they walked down the same hallway three times. "It's a security measure," she explained.

"What's he tryin' to keep out?" Xander asked as they passed by a tapestry made up of wailing souls.

"You," Dani answered. She took a look over at Xander and lightened her expression, "I mean the living, not _you_ specifically."

"How reassurin'."

After what seemed to be hours of traveling in the eerie lighting, they reached the throne room's doors. Each stood twenty feet tall and was engraved with intricate bronze designs. The four half-bloods stopped in their tracks.

"So, here it is," Dani mumbled weakly.

None of them made a move to go any further.

"Yep," Xander agreed after the pause.

Willard adjusted his blazer so that it settled respectably on his shoulders. His whole getup was just too embarrassing. He turned to Dani and grinned slyly. "Do you think your dad will like me?" Without waiting for a response, he quickstepped to the doors and threw them open. "Honey, I'm hoooo-ooome!"

"We're screwed," were the last confidence-boosting words Dani had for the group before she rushed in and grabbed Willard by the back of his toga. Xander and Rose followed her in, defeated. They couldn't look forward to their prospects from that point on.

The room was lit only by torches that were modeled to look like severed hands. Confederate soldiers and Greek warriors stood guard, at least twenty-five on each side of the massive thrones. The empty one was made from flowers and sunshine. The other was made up of what Xander hoped weren't human bones, and a giant figure sat pin straight on the pedestal.

Xander had never known how much Dani resembled her father. They possessed the same dark hair, pale skin, and even that bored expression. The biggest difference, though, was that Hades' eyes made Dani's look as sweet as a puppy's in comparison. The god radiated so much power that Xander could feel his will drain away as he went closer to the throne.

Hades brought his hands up to his chin and leaned over in his throne as if to examine them. His expression was eerily serene. "When I heard that the Underworld security had been breached, I had been expecting people with more…common sense." The snake-like eyes locked onto Willard and his toga. "Yet it appears only fools stand before me now. Do explain to me why you are here before I cease to be amused by your lack of conduct and decide to strike you down."

Willard twirled his hand as he bowed low. Xander dubbed the following conversation 'Return of the British Accent,' except that this version was fast and smooth. It was how Xander had always imagined Willard trying to pick up a girl at a bar, and he shuddered at the applications of that thought in this situation. Luckily for his sanity, it didn't take long to realize that the drunkard was attempting to 'persuade' the god of death with his special 'gift.'

"Good sir. Kind sir. Tall, dark, and handsome sir. You have only respectable citizens before you, you should know, because all citizens have to be respectable on some level to be a citizen of anyplace respectable. Your dear darling daughter, this tiny ancient ginger, and some kind of Southern chap have all joined me, myself, and I on a quest against those lovely anti-Darwinists attacking living organisms of your kin." He pointed an accusatory finger waveringly in the god's general direction. "We have been led to believe that you, Lord Death, have concocted-"

"Silence!" The lord of the dead barked, his eyes blazing angrily. "Son of Dionysus, are you really so terribly arrogant as to think you can charm me into thinking better of you?"

Willard's giggled reply, "I made him say 'charm me!'" was ignored.

"You invade my home, disrupt my subjects, and accuse me of crimes that are unrelated to me- why, I believe there are spots in the Fields of Punishment for each of you." A sick grin twisted onto the god's face and sent cold chills up Xander's spine.

"Lord Hades, sir, we mean ya no disrespect," Xander began, taking over from Willard, and bowing his head. "We're on a quest to defend Camp Half Blood from an army, and we have reason to believe that ya may… er… know somethin' 'bout it."

The god of death switched his line of sight to Xander. A feeling of impending doom and hopelessness took root in the Southerner's mind. An unsettling chuckle filled the huge room as Hades began spoke. "Alexander Drake, what an unfortunate set of cards the Fates have dealt you. It would bring me such happiness to end your life, yet it brings me even more pleasure to watch you suffer. Tell me, how did it feel to see the spirits of those you once knew?"

"Dad, stop it," Dani snapped.

"I can assure you that you will see many more."

"Father!" Dani yelled, breaking the mounting tension with her glare. "Hear us out."

With some distinct reluctance Hades leaned back once more in his throne. "Fine. I will hear you out," he spat, "but merely because it is entertaining to hear how far you've come only to fail."

Dani bristled and raised a closed fist confrontationally, but calmed some when Rose put a small hand on her arm. "It is a game," she murmured.

The petite child raised her voice so it would reach the exceedingly tall figure on the dais. "Echidna was a lure." She paused, thoughtful. "As are you, I must suspect. Our trail of false clues stops here. In twelve hours, if that, our race will be dead. Lord Hades, your silence on this matter is tantamount to the aiding of a genocide. Consider that and please answer honestly, with evidence: who would have created this army?"

Hades leaned his head back with a cruel smile on his lips. "Cheeky, aren't we? Do you expect me to respond to such insolence? I will not help you until you can show me the proper respect."

Xander felt his fists clench. Perhaps it was stress, or a lifetime of being respectful to people who didn't deserve it, but at that moment he snapped. "No."

"What was that?" the lord of the dead hissed, his eyes jumping back to Xander.

"I said no," he repeated, growing louder despite how nervous he was on the inside. "We aren't gonna show ya respect 'til ya deserve it. If ya don't have the conscience to do what's right here, not only can I not respect ya, but in a few hours every half-blood will be dead. Is that what ya want?"

Hades sat completely motionless for what seemed like millennia, the stillness making the room grow cold. Then all of a sudden his face contorted into a malicious smile, the god's wicked eyes glowing ferociously. "A few hours, hm?" He turned to Dani, whose confidence seemed to have been yanked out from under her. "He thinks he still has a few hours."

"Dad… don't." Her voice had the sound of an attempted threat, so corrupted with sadness that it turned into a plea.

"You think you still have _time_, son of Athena? Ha! You don't even have seconds."

It happened too quickly. As Hades' hand slammed down, a giant black shadow fell from his grasp and engulfed Xander before he could hold a defensive stance. For a brief moment, a darkness that seeped away all his warmth consumed the demigod. The god's unnerving laughter and his daughter's furious shouts infiltrated the calm black infinity.

As soon as it came upon him, it vanished.

He wanted it back.

_Blood splattered across the side of his jaw. In front of him, an older camper fought for his life against two lizard-like Metalliks, but they had him cornered. "Hang on!" Xander shouted and sprung into action. He dodged the beast's tongue, slashed its armor twice, and finally found himself in a position to stab the sword into its throat. He smirked triumphantly. _

_But the blade didn't hurt the monster. It roared, unaware of the harmless lump of flesh in front of it, and leaped over Xander to land on the tiring camper. The other monster joined it. Xander whirled around and bit back a scream as he smelled the melted flesh. He tore his eyes away and surveyed the carnage around him. The cries of the dying finally reached his ears. His beloved camp was on fire, and the people he had once known were burning with it._

Oh, gods.

_There, a few yards away, stood Henry. A panther-like Metallik had him backed up to the forest. He had to get there. He had to save Henry. The metal feline batted at the little boy with its huge claws, hissing. Athena's younger son raised his spear bravely, but Xander could see the fear in his eyes._

_Time ran in milliseconds now. The big cat crouched. Ten steps to Henry. It raised itself off the ground. Seven steps. It rose as if on strings and arched through the air. Four steps. It stretched its paws out to its intended prey. One step. "HENRY!"_

The scene dissolved into Hades' cruel smile. "Did you have a nice nap?"

~O~O~O~

Xander: You guys _killed_ my little brother!

Monica: Now, now, Xander, no need to get so riled up-

Rachel: Yeah, we only did it for the sake of Freytag's Pyramid of Dramatic Suspense!

Xander: He was _eight!_

Monica: Oh, really? I could have sworn he was seven.

Xander: _That's not any better!_

Rachel: No way guys, he was six!

Dani: …You two are sick. Our fate is in the hands of two psychopaths.

Willard: OPEN REBELLION!

Rachel: You know it doesn't just have to be small children that we brutally assassinate…

Willard: …RETREAT!


	28. Chapter Twenty-Seven

**Chapter 27**

"Xander? Xander, look at me. Are you alright?"

"I'm…fine…"

"Are you hurt?"

"I'm…fine…"

"Xander, you're not blinking."

"What…I…but," The message took a minute to process in his mind. _Blink. Blink. Close your eyes and blink._ When he did so, he regretted it. The blood, the fire, the death- all of the horror and guilt was engraved into his eyelids. With a shudder, his eyes flew open again, only to have the images follow him to the conscious world. They had a right to. The pain and suffering wrought upon Camp Half-Blood was his fault. People were dead because of him. He could still hear their terrible screams, the last sounds that would ever escape them. They were dying. All of them. Henry- sweet, adorable, young Henry- was dying. And it was his fault. His fault. _Kill me now. Please. Please kill me now. I can't take it. Please. Please._

"Xander! He's hyperventilating!"

It was sick. So sick. He was retching, trying to find some way to expel the horrific images from his head. He wanted them out. Somebody needed to take the feeling away. He was a murderer. All their blood was on his hands. So red…

"XANDER!"

That snapped him out. He wasn't at camp. Not anymore. Had he even been there before? What was he looking at now? It wasn't death, it wasn't suffering. No. It was beauty. He knew her. Dani. How long would it be until his actions killed her too? "Dani?" he breathed, not even sure if she could hear him. He was so cold. So cold. It felt like someone had reached inside him and pulled out his heart. Now it was ice. He couldn't stop shaking.

She pulled her eyes away from him and shot them up towards her father. "How _dare_ you!" she yelled.

"_How dare I_?" the god repeated disbelievingly. "I am your father! You will show me respect, Danaë! You will not cavort about with an imbecilic son of Athena! Your affections are wasted on him!"

Her face reddened, though whether it was because of embarrassment or fury was unclear. For a few seconds, the sheer rage emitting from the fifteen-year-old girl rivaled her father's, and she used that anger to explode. "You're kidding me, right? That earthquake was you, wasn't it? Is this all some sick 'protect your daughter' thing to you? People are DYING! Xander was right. You don't deserve an _ounce_ of my respect."

"You would do well to learn when to hold your tongue!" The lord of the dead thundered. His threat echoed around the room.

"Or what?" she laughed back, grabbing the other's arms and turning away. "Gonna strike down your own daughter? That works real well for you Greek gods, doesn't it?"

As the group exited, the shouts from Hades grew louder, but Dani hardly seemed to notice. She simply lead the other three out the door, whispering apologies the entire way.

Willard, who was for once completely silent, supported Xander as he stumbled along. Rose stared straight ahead, eyes glazed over. "Legendary wrath is upon us." She blinked and shook her head frantically. "Dani, we have to go to Olympus. Only a god has this much power."

Dani shrugged, a hollow laugh like her father's escaping her. "Honestly, Rose, what is the point? We don't know who we're fighting anymore, and camp is already being destroyed. By the time we get back to Manhattan, it'll all be over." She sunk down onto one of the boulders overlooking Asphodel and hung her head. "I don't know what we do now."

Rose knelt next to Dani. "You are more than that, Danaë," she murmured gently.

"Indeed you are." The silky voice emanated from the shadows, which slowly morphed into the god of the Underworld. Dani turned her back to him and glowered straight ahead as he spoke. "Your valiance has made me… reconsider. I will tell you what suspicions I have in regards to this war."

The god walked out of the shadows and surveyed the Underworld before him. "Several months ago, my wretch of a brother got into an argument about his many affairs with mortals. Hera threatened to leave him for it. He claimed that demigods have caused him nothing but trouble over the past centuries, and had plans to do something about it. The constant feud between us explains why he would peg me as a suspect in his heinous crimes. You understand what I am saying, of course." Hades said, glancing toward the half-bloods.

Rose nodded and bowed her head slightly. "Thank you."

Dani snorted. "That accusation won't mean a thing if we aren't at Mount Olympus in the next five seconds."

Hades stroked his chin, looking at his daughter as if he had never seen someone so difficult to understand. "Then I suppose you'd better go." With a wave of his hand he cast a dark shadow upon each of the half-bloods. To Xander, it felt like being splashed with cold water- just the wakeup he needed. The world spun rapidly before the darkness faded and was replaced by the shining bright white lights of Olympus.

"Nicest thing he's ever done for me," Dani grumbled.

Willard sat up and blinked. "Dani."

The black-clad girl looked his way. "Yeah?"

"Your dad sucks."

"As if I didn't know- hang on, did you just make sense?"

"I'm sober. Hades _sobered_ me." With that shocking, venomous announcement, Willard began to curse colorfully. He only paused to say, "What in Tartarus am I _wearing_?" before he continued swearing.

"Willard!" Xander cut in, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "This isn't the time. Hades did a lot of…questionable things," he shuddered at the few images that managed to escape repression and float to the surface of his mind, "but we have bigger problems now. People are dyin' and we need a plan to bring down the king of gods."

Rose smoothed her eyebrow, that tell-tale sign of vexation. "There is something about this that bothers me."

Dani muttered bitterly, "What, the mass murder bit or the part where we have to take down King Lightning?"

The Huntress shook her head. "The trail. Zeus knew it would lead to Hades- he planned that. He had to know that Hades would blame him and that we would come here…It was too easy."

A gear in the back of Xander's head began to turn. "You're right. This whole thing has been too easy."

Dani scoffed as she looked concernedly at Xander. "Look, I'm not sure exactly what my dad did to you, but multiple scrapes with death is not and has never been a definition of 'easy,' Cowboy."

"I know that," he answered dryly as he paced around the corridor. "I meant the trail. It's been simple from the beginnin'. The Metalliks at Cambridge practically told me Echidna's coordinates, and then Echidna led us to Hades without much of a fight. Zeus would never slip up that much."

"So what are you saying?" the dark haired girl asked sharply.

"I'm sayin' that…I think we're wrong…again."

"We don't have time to be wrong again," Dani responded flatly.

"Ya think I don't know that?" Xander replied anxiously. His hands fidgeted at his sides as he thought.

Willard quoted, bored, "'Remember that there is nothing stable in human affairs.'"

Rose gasped and explained to the other two, "Gods are not so different from humans. Since the tracks lead to a dead end, we need to think…randomly."

"Randomly," Xander repeated blankly. But what was random and what was planned? How could they determine the head of such a detailed scheme from a few chance encounters?

Chance encounters.

How much chance was involved, really?

Monsters hunted the closest demigods, but…What if one in particular had been strategically placed to intercept them? What if Lamia had been following their movements? It was unlikely, but nothing could make sense if he wanted to solve this quandary.

"We should consider motivation," Rose softly suggested.

"Okay…Ares?" Dani offered up.

"It's possible, but he prefers war, not slaughter. He'd at least give us a chance."

"Apollo?"

"Not violent enough."

"Aphrodite?"

"Not exactly the bloodthirsty type." Xander paused. "We're not asking the right questions. We need to know who would want to frame Zeus."

Willard ran a hand through his hair. "'The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies, but also to hate his friends.'" At Xander's confused expression he elaborated slowly and distinctly as though talking to a child. "This riddle is defined by the line between love and hate. It isn't a winding trail. It's a contradiction. You are the man of knowledge, Xander. You have to think like a god. To do that, you have to stop caring about us."

Dani glared at Willard. "Why couldn't you have been useful _earlier_?"

The boy shrugged. "'When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you.' I don't like to think, so instead I drink. It's an easier demon to handle." He paused. "That son-of-a-Titan ruined my sense of humor, too. Think, drink- why can't it be funny?" he sulked against a wall.

Xander hung his head and focused intently on the floor tiles as he wondered. _Think like a god. Think like a madman. Think like a murderer. Think randomly. It's all random. That's how ya get ahead. Who's obscure enough to pull this off? Who could slip under the radar, create utter chaos, and let someone else take the fall for 'em so easily? Who would be hard to blame? They hafta be smart, angry…vengeful. Maybe they possess hidden strength beneath a calm, unassumin' demeanor. It's someone ya don't think of, not one of the usual power-mongers. It's gotta be someone who'll kill to get their way. Someone like… _

"No way," he breathed when the answer popped into his head. He had to be wrong this time. It was too unbelievable. Yet, once the answer arrived, it stayed and rooted itself more deeply in his mind as more and more evidence came to light. He was right. He was right, and he could feel it. The warmth of the assurance pulsed though him. Xander took off through the halls of Zeus's palace and called back to his friends, "I've got it! I know who it is!"

Everyone followed closely behind Xander as he sprinted frantically down the corridors.

"Xander, what the heck is going on?"

When he stopped abruptly, the other three demigods nearly slammed into him.

"A mass murderer has to have some type of god complex, right?" his words came out hurriedly as he triple checked his guesses.

"Gee, Cowboy, I couldn't imagine a god with a god complex!" Dani scoffed. She crossed her arms over her chest and glowered at the son of Athena.

Xander ignored her comment and continued to speak. "Where does that kind of person go in the last stages of an apparently successful plan?" he asked, darting his eyes between his three friends.

Willard widened his eyes in realization. "'In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.' They might not be as brilliant as we had assumed."

Rose studied the drunkard curiously and smiled brightly when she understood. "The gods truly are like us- predictable. They would go somewhere on high ground to gloat!"

"We're already on Mount Olympus," Dani responded exasperatedly.

"But that's nothin' new to a god," Xander spoke in tone a teacher might use. "They would need a symbol of their victory, somethin' that exults 'em."

"The throne room!" Rose exclaimed.

"Exactly!" Xander clapped, staring at Rose excitedly. "Where is it?" he asked anxiously.

Rose blinked and pointed down a hallway. "This way feels right."

Xander grabbed the girls' wrists and rushed in the direction.

"Wait, Xander! You still haven't told us who it is!" Dani shouted.

He ignored her until they go to the double doors of the gods' council chamber. Then he turned to Willard. "Bring Zeus here, okay? We need him to end this."

Willard put both hands on Xander's shoulders and met his gaze. "'Be careful when you fight with monsters, lest you become one,'" he said grimly.

The Southerner nodded. "I've always been a fan of Nietzsche."

The drunkard turned to Dani. "Protect that idiot, alright?"

Dani grinned. "He'll get home safe, between us." She elbowed the redhead beside her, who blushed gratefully.

Rose's friend towered over her as he put a hand on her head. "'No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.'"

Her eyes welled with tears. "How did you…"

He took a step back, grinning wolfishly. "Go kick some godly ass!"

Xander beamed back at him. "Let's go!" Willard turned down a corridor with a wave and disappeared.

They threw open the doors.

~O~O~O~

Rose: I like Willard when he is sober.

Dani: I'm psychologically incapable of comprehending anyone's ability to like Willard in any form.

Willard: That's just because you don't like anyone, sweet cheeks.

Xander: Ain't that the truth.

Dani: I like you.

Xander: …Really?

Dani: Yeah. Sure. About as much as Monica and Rachel do.

Xander: Monica? Rachel? Do you two like me?

Monica: ...Uh…yeah…sure…Heh. Heheheh. .'

Rachel: Stabby.


	29. Chapter Twenty-Eight

**Chapter 28**

"It's over now."

Hera languished on Zeus's own throne- the highest in the room. "So you figured it out- the true culprit was Professor Plum with the candlestick."

"I was knew we were looking for 'the homicidal maniac' with 'an army of metal contraptions,'" Dani responded, "but somehow I never thought it would be _you_."

"And wasn't that the point?" Her cold brown eyes flicked to the boy. "It truly is a surprise to see you here, Xander Drake."

"Surprise? I admit I might be a bit late, but the fact that I'm here ain't much of a shock," he told her calmly, stepping forward. "Call off the army, Hera."

The beautiful goddess laughed harshly. "Do you know why you were chosen for this quest, demigod? _I_ suggested you." Xander must have looked as confused as he felt, because she crooned, "Oh, poor child, you must have thought you were special! You thought you could be a hero! No, it took a few too many hours to convince them that you were the one. You were never meant to succeed," she hissed.

Sure, he had wondered why he had been chosen for the quest hundreds of times over the course of the week, but actually knowing it had all been part of Hera's plan? That hurt. _She's baitin' me. Don't give in. _He attempted to move on. "Doesn't matter. I don't mind provin' people wrong. Now, again: call off the army or I will make ya." He pulled his sword a few inches out of the sheath as a warning.

Hera rolled her eyes and stood. She was in her giant form, which made the whole situation that much more impossible. "I am a goddess; you are a foolish little boy. How do you expect to win this fight?" She moved gracefully. The white dress moved like oil on water. The effect was more intimidating than the immortal's height.

Swallowing his all too present fears, Xander answered, grateful that, for once, he actually sounded confident. "I won't have to fight ya in order to win if you surrender now, Lady Hera."

"Surrender?" she scoffed. Her voice softened, like a mother speaking to naughty children. "When I'm so close to victory? No, I don't believe I'll do that."

Rose murmured, "There can be no victory without loss." Hera switched her imperious gaze to the small redhead.

"A daughter of Hecate, I see. How…rare. Terribly rare. I don't believe my kin has had a child in at least five centuries." She noted the girl's bow and quiver of arrows. "A Hunter, then. But your weapons don't glow, hm? In exile, are we? I believe Artemis mentioned you. The little girl that fell in love. The one that doesn't belong." Hera clicked her tongue. "It isn't polite to stay when you aren't welcome, darling. Perhaps a swift death will solve this problem."

"That's it, let me end this," Dani spat, reaching behind to unsheathe her knives, a dangerously aggravated expression on her face.

"Don't," Xander hissed back to her.

"That's right, daughter of Hades. Never begin something you can't finish." The goddess's tone melted from teasing to venomous. "You are the worthless _spawn_ of my misguided brother. That working girl you call a mother tricked him into loving her. You are too powerful, Danaë Kyle. You should not exist."

"How dare you say that about my m-"

"Dani," Xander whispered, laying a hand on her arm, "this ain't the time to get reckless."

"Then when is?" she growled from behind gritted teeth.

"I don't know," he answered honestly before facing the goddess. "What _is _the plan, Hera? What, exactly, is your endgame?"

"My, my. The genius doesn't even know my purpose? And you call accusing me a point of deduction? Athena should be ashamed. I may as well explain. Your race will not last much longer.

"Demigods have always been a thorn in my side. Most of you are illegitimate, and perfectly happy marriages are infected by your existence. You fester and multiply. I will not stand for it! _You do not belong in my family!_"The angry screech echoed in the huge room.

"Now I get it. You have this ideal of perfection, and half-bloods mess that up for you."

Hera's chilly smile made him shiver. "Correct. You will be erased from this world, now and forever."

Xander blinked. "Well. Alright," he mumbled nervously, trying to regain his confidence. "I have to ask, though, how do ya expect to have a perfect family when you taint it with blood? Do ya really think mass murder can solve all your issues? If you're actually delusional enough to think it can, lemme tell ya right now that you're wrong."

"Dead wrong," Dani threw in helpfully.

"Children, your naïveté is beginning to annoy me. No member of my family is a stranger to murder. This may anger them for a while, but I can make them understand." Hera sighed as though she were bored. "Now, if you are so eager to fight, please." She shrunk to their size and gestured to herself. "Attack."

"No. Don't," Xander instructed as he stood, resolute, before the goddess. "It's what she wants- don't give it to her."

The woman in white shrugged. "Then I suppose I've won without a fight. I wonder who's down there, hm? Your cabin mates…All the friends you've made…Oh, and let's not forget that sweet little brother of yours." She paused thoughtfully. A malicious glint lit her eyes. "Henry, wasn't it?"

Xander felt his nails dig into his palm as he clenched his fist. He could still see the scared look on his half-brother's face- an image he was sure would stay with him for a long time. "Yes, ma'am," he answered quietly, finding it suddenly much harder to look the psychotic goddess in the face. _Don't give in. Don't give in. Don't give her what she wants._

An arrow sliced through the air and cut Hera's shoulder. The goddess of home and marriage stared at her shoulder in shock as golden ichor oozed from the small wound. "I am tired of mind games," Rose said softly, holding her bow steady with another arrow nocked to the string. "Fight us."

"My pleasure," the goddess said silkily as she unsheathed an ornate golden dagger from her hip. She jabbed at Rose skillfully. With an effortless movement, the goddess sliced the ginger's shoulder in the exact same location she had been wounded. "Now you see the consequences of your actions," she chided.

Dani aimed her twin blades at the goddess's head and launched at Hera. "What was that you said about me, Hera?" the young girl growled as their daggers clashed. Each female was out for blood. "That I'm too powerful? Was that it?" The daughter of Hades shot her arm out to slice the immortal's throat, only to have the goddess block her and then whirl into a counterattack. It all happened within the blink of an eye.

"Any child of my brother is far too powerful- on earth. Olympus is immortal. There are no corpses for you here, Necromancer." Her feral grin widened as Dani struggled beneath her foot.

"Let her go!" Xander shouted, panicked.

Rose put a hand on his arm and whispered, "Keep your head." She fired at Hera with practiced speed, but none hit their mark. The goddess merely raised her hand and flicked the arrows away. Xander used the opportunity to step closer to his target.

Dani delivered a sharp elbow jab to the woman's ankle and rolled away. Hera didn't seem the slightest bit bothered, however. Instead, she merely smiled sweetly. "However, it has occurred to me that a few corpses strewn about here or there would bring an interesting mood to this room. Why don't we start with yours, dear?" Her eyes flicked from Dani to the arrows she had stopped that floated in midair. A sole arrow gracefully spun to point in the brunette girl's direction. Hera snapped and the arrow shot forward. It was angled straight for Dani's chest.

_Clink._

The arrow met the flat of Xander's sword as though it were a baseball. It bounced back and fell to the ground. He let out the breath he hadn't even realized he was holding in his rush to draw his sword, somewhat amazed at how fast his reflexes had been. A cheeky grin spread across his face. With a weapon in his hand, he almost felt confident enough to fight the insanity that shone feverishly in Hera's eyes.

Almost.

The crazed expression the goddess now wore was made all the more disturbing by the fact that she still looked extremely motherly. It was difficult to reconcile the two characteristics.

"Tell me, Xander Drake; will you go to the Fields of Punishment for this most grievous failure, or shall I get a little…creative?" Hera's suggestion reminded Xander of Lamia, the age-old queen she'd cursed so horribly. The Fields were by no means appealing, but they almost seemed a kinder fate than a concoction of the familial goddess's.

"I just saved Hades' daughter," Xander explained, keeping his voice level as he dodged a swipe from Hera's dagger. "D'ya really think someone as just as the god of the Underworld would have me tortured for eternity after that? Seems like a pretty hollow threat." Actually, it wasn't a hollow threat at all; Xander knew that. He was scared of Hera, but he wasn't going to admit that to her. She lashed out with a swift attack that grazed his leg. _She's gettin' faster._

The goddess smoothed her dress unnecessarily. "All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy, indeed," she goaded. "Fight, son of Athena. You have no spirit!" When Xander didn't move, she murmured, "It's a tragedy, really. Henry trusted you. He insisted you would save them when I came to call. Poor, fragile little Henry. How is it that such a tiny boy fought with more strength than you? He's tried so hard, but I'm afraid he's just no match for my Metalliks."

_Henry._ Suddenly, his found himself propelled toward the powerful goddess. He slashed, dove, circled, lunged, kicked, sliced, and stabbed, driven by a burning desire to cut deep into this woman's sick heart.

Blade slid between bone and ligament. Xander gazed at the wound.

Red blossomed around the dagger protruding from his chest.

~O~O~O~

Monica: Were your realized dreams everything you thought they'd be, Rachel?

Rachel: STABBY!

Xander: You've been waiting to kill me this whole time?

Rachel: Since chapter two.

Rose: You…You…You killed Xander?

Dani: Rose, don't cry. Don't give them the satisfaction.

Monica: No, Rose, sob your fragile little heart out! Pain is healthy!

Xander: …Can I cry?

Dani: No!


	30. Chapter Twenty-Nine

**Chapter 29**

Time stopped, but not for long enough.

He wanted to scream. He could feel the life bleeding out of him. He _needed _to scream. Yet he knew that the twisted, corrupt face looking down on him waited for that exact sound, and he had no intention of giving her what she wanted. He gritted his teeth and remained silent.

Hera withdrew the dagger agonizingly slowly. He stood still for a moment, dizzy, and then fell back. Far away, he felt the smack of his head hitting the immaculate tiled floors. Rose ran to him, crying helplessly. He reached out and grabbed her hand. The goddess's sadistic laughter rang in his ears as she left the room. Dani started to follow. Amazing Dani. Dani, Dani, Dani. She had to hear him. "Dani, Dani, Dani…Dani?" It surprised him when the name rolled off his tongue so clearly. Or maybe it was strange that they left at all.

The dark-eyed demigod knelt beside him. Maybe if he just focused on those eyes, it would all be alright. Maybe if he held onto her hand…But it was slipping away. "Don't…go…" His words felt wrong. They weren't the right shape. What word was the right shape? It had to describe her. It had to be her.

"Beautiful."

Dani choked. She squeezed his hand but turned her head to the side, away from him. Those eyes looked everywhere but at him. She cleared her throat and tried to level her voice, but it shook. "You… you're going to be okay." She was lying. He knew she was lying, but it felt nice, just to hear her say it. He wanted her to tell him he was going to be okay, forever. Forever. He wanted to be able to believe her. But more than that, he wanted to look into her eyes and have her tell him the truth.

"Don't… I…" He realized how much he wanted to say, how many things he had never said before. And now it was too late. Now he was out of time.

He chose carefully. She had to know. They had to know. Just a handful of syllables. He met Rose's eyes, then Dani's. "Thank you," he managed.

He was so tired. He started to forget what he felt he should remember until even the nature of a name was too difficult to comprehend. He could only focus on a dream he might have had; a lovely pair of deep, dark eyes…

~O~O~O~

Dani: I feel a little queasy.

Xander: It was a sentimental moment!

Dani: I want to punch an especially cheerful elf.

Rose: Am I allowed to cry now, Dani?

Dani: Why not? There's nothing left to fight for.

Willard: OH SNAP.

Monica: There's more!

Rachel: How will this motley trio carry on without their fearful- ahem- fear_less _leader?

Xander: I'm still here…

Willard: SHHHH. They'll kill you again if you keep talking!

Xander: Okay, okay, just- just keep your hands off my face- WILLARD!


	31. Chapter Thirty

**Chapter 30**

"Xander? Xander, Xander, wake up! Oh, gods, please wake up." The useless pleas tore themselves from her involuntarily. His gray eyes were hollow and his jaw was slack. It was as though everything that made him _Xander_ had been ripped from him and replaced by a black hole that threatened to suck her in, too.

He was gone.

_No. _Rose would not accept it. Not again. Not this boy who had meant so much, could have been so much. Sobs wracked her slender frame, because she knew now. Her father had been right, back in the Fields of Punishment. The truth had always been in front of her and she'd refused to see it until it was too late.

His blood was on her hands, and she would never be able to scrub it off.

The daughter of Hades stood, face blank. "I'm going to kill her," she said firmly.

Rose grabbed the taller girl's wrist. "He would not have wanted that."

She pulled free. "Who are _you_ to say what he would have wanted?!" The words seemed to explode from inside the fifteen-year-old, and suddenly Rose saw the truth. Dani had only hinted at it before, but now it was all too clear. A great many things were too clear.

"No more." The redhead's tears streamed silently down her face.

Dani stopped midstride and whirled back around to face Rose. "We came here on a mission. We have to do this or he'll have died for nothing. I intend to finish his work. If you don't, stay here and sulk, but a few sniffles won't bring him back."

As Hades' daughter's rant progressed, dark haze filled the room until they were in a world of shadow.

"Xander did not deserve to die, Dani. It will never happen again." Rose picked up Hera's discarded dagger with shaking hands and held it to her own heart. "I will not kill any more." The sharp tip marked her collarbone. Her hands steadied as a sense of calm overcame her. _This is my fate._

"Rose! What are you doing? Rose, no!"

Just as Rose began to close her eyes, a figure of light stepped into her vision. "…Mother?"

Hecate flickered between her three forms- a blonde girl with chilly blue eyes, a pale woman with soft features, and a delicate lady with fiery red hair. All were clad in a knee-length white dress and simple brown hunting boots.

"Dejanira, my daughter." Rose winced. Hecate held out her hand and murmured, "Rose." Reluctantly, the huntress handed over the golden blade.

"He is dead," she whispered brokenly. "I killed him."

"Are you crazy?" Dani practically shouted. "_Hera_ killed him! What in Hades is going on here?"

She shook her head, helpless. "Why, Mother? Why? I never meant to, and now everything is red…so red…" Rose felt herself slipping away from them. She couldn't stay calm anymore. The blood covered her. She couldn't scrub it off. Even her hair, even that was drenched in it. She curled her knees to her chin. "Father, Achilles, James, Carter, Bartholomew…" She listed them under her breath, every single man who had suffered because of her from the beginning, until she came to her most recent victim. "…Kyle, Crofter, Xander."

Her godly parent was piteous, but Dani was somewhere between confused and angry. Before Hades' daughter could say a word, Hecate held a finger to her lips.

"Passion, my child. You have run from it all your life, but avoiding men has never been the answer. Whether you hated or loved them, even for a second, they would die. That is what your father named you. That is your curse."

Rose stilled and raised her eyes to her mother. "I am a monster."

Hecate met her gaze sadly. "Oh, my child."

"Let me die."

"You wish to atone for deeds that were never your doing?"

"I wish to make amends." Rose looked to the lifeless boy at her side. "I should never have..." She put a hand to her throat, unable to say it out loud.

Hecate gently placed a hand on her daughter's head. "You cannot control your heart, Rose."

"No. No, but I can stop it."

Dani finally broke out of her shock. "What the- curse? You two aren't making any sense!"

Rose pushed herself to her feet and went to the darkly clad girl. "It is clear now. I loved him, so he is dead." _There._ The truth was there for anyone to see, but she had refused to until now. "I am cursed, Dani."

The girl's slap was hardly a surprise, but it still stung. "You mean he died because of _you?_ Don't be stupid, Rose! He was stabbed-"

"Through the heart. My father died of heartbreak. I shot Crofter through his heart. Kyle…Kyle took a blow to the heart." She could still remember all of their faces. Her demons could never be defeated, because they were only glimpses of memory. "And now they will all be avenged."

The slap was unexpected this time. "This is idiotic!"

Hecate grasped Dani's shoulder lightly. "It is the truth, daughter of Hades. For three thousand years, she has carried this burden. Allow her to escape it."

Dani growled, "No! What kind of parent are you?" To the other girl she exclaimed, "Killing yourself won't bring him back, Rose!"

The soft-spoken woman stepped away from both girls. "What if it could?"

Rose turned to her mother. "How?"

"I am the goddess of Choice. Dejanira, you are a destroyer of men. You may live and face that fate or…you may become man's defender."

She didn't blink. "Let me save him."

The immortal being radiated power and gestured toward the limp boy on the floor. Rose rushed to Xander's side and smoothed the shaggy hair from his forehead. He had died with his eyes open, and he hadn't been looking at her. She raised her gaze to Dani's. "Take care of him." Her friend nodded.

"'_No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.'"_

Xander was not meant for her. She was not meant for this world. But now, at this moment, she was selfish. Rose leaned down and touched her lips to his. Instantly, she felt herself begin to drain away. Slowly, light returned to those gorgeous eyes. She gazed down at him with half closed lids, searching for the life there. Waiting for the rejection.

His hand snaked around her waist and he drew her closer. Right then, for those briefest of moments, he was hers. This arrogant, stupid, nervous, considerate, kind boy had chosen her for this minute, and that was all that mattered as her life faded from her.

When they broke apart, he set her down gently. "Rose? Rose, what's wrong?"

Her heart fluttered at the sound of his voice. "Damn, I love you." She sighed contentedly and closed her eyes.

_Artemis…He was worth it._

~O~O~O~

Monica: FINALLY.

Rachel: …Xander's back…

Xander: There's no need to cry about it!

Monica: I feel euphoric.

Dani: Psychopaths, the both of you.

Rachel: We prefer 'eccentric romanticists'.

Monica: It's like Romeo and Juliet, except the love and death bits are both totally one-sided.

Xander: I died!

Rachel: But you didn't _stay_ dead.

Monica: Rose is dead! Rose is dead!

Rachel: Couldn't we have killed them both?

Xander and Dani: …Stabby.


	32. Chapter Thirty-One

**Chapter 31**

His world had completely stopped. He couldn't remember anything but an empty darkness, as though some span of time had been cut out of his memory. But now there was light again, and the world moved so quickly. Had it always been this bright, or had he simply never noticed before?

"Rose?" he whispered frantically, searching her softly smiling face for any sign of life. She couldn't be gone. She couldn't be. He was the one who was dead.

_I am dead…right?_

No. He was breathing. Air filled his lungs again, and his heart beat steadily. He was alive. He was alive, but Rose lay on the floor. Blood stained her hands and the hem of her white skirt. His blood. She had died...for him. That kiss had breathed his life back into him at the expense of her own. Now, he could only stare at her timelessly beautiful corpse.

The boy turned his attention to one of the still living presences in the room- a woman whose figure shimmered between three different forms. Each of them possessed qualities that reminded him of Rose. "Hecate." Xander gazed numbly at the woman, unable to say any more. Athena's son knew that, for each question he had, there was an answer he didn't want to believe.

_In night, love triumphs and the cursed one dies._

He trembled. "She was the cursed one in the prophecy, then."

Hecate nodded. Tears streamed silently down the goddess's face. "Her father was a wise shaman until insanity took hold. One of his many abuses was to give her a name she could not help but live up to. Still, at the last, she broke free." Her lips turned upward proudly.

Xander inhaled deeply and forced himself to look away from Rose's body before he drowned in grief. Instead, he found himself seeking Rose in the goddess's eyes. The words he wished he could have told her poured out. "I-I am so sorry. I won't let this be for nothin'. I won't let ya down. I- I swear I won't let ya down." He paused and then added a final thought. "Thank you."

Hecate understood. "She believed in you, Xander Drake. Win this fight." The goddess disappeared into the haze as it faded around them.

Dani's squeezed him in a tight embrace. She was calm and said nothing in favor of letting her actions speak for her. She held the pieces of him together and kept him rooted to her world. In her embrace, he knew he was alive; there was no way that much blood could heat his cheeks if he were dead.

When they parted, she stared at him with the same chocolate eyes he remembered seeing before he left. They were even more beautiful then he'd seen them then. "Don't... don't do that again."

Xander grinned grimly. "Die, ya mean?"

"Yeah." She exhaled in a rush through her mouth and glanced at the large bloodstain that marked a nonexistent wound.

"I don't plan on doin' that again anytime soon," he told her dryly. Xander found himself pressing his fingers to his pulse, as though he were checking to be sure it was real.

"Good," she whispered. Dani swallowed as she glanced down at Rose. Her eyes closed for a second longer than a blink. She knelt and brushed a fiery lock from the small girl's face; her hands remained steady. Her head snapped up; her jaw was clenched tightly. "I want to kill her."

He didn't need to ask who. "Then... why don't we?" he asked. An idea was gradually taking shape.

Hades' daughter raised an eyebrow reproachfully. "Because she's immortal. We _can't_ kill her no matter how much we want to."

A broad grin spread across Xander's face. "I disagree. I think we can." Sadism was turning out to be strangely enjoyable.

The roles were reversed. No longer did Xander stare, mystified, at Dani; instead, she looked at him as though she had never seen anyone quite like him. Very slowly she began to nod her head. "Okay," she agreed, placing her faith in him.

With a final, pained look at Rose's form- it seemed to be half its size without her spirit- Xander stood and reclaimed his sword. She had given him a second chance, and he refused to waste it. This time, he would win.

_I promise._

~O~O~O~

Dani: I'm really going to miss her tea.

Xander: It seems like everyone I care about is dyin'…

Monica: If you're referring to Henry, he's perfectly fine.

Rachel: Yeah, we might as well tell you now. He won't pop up again.

Henry: Aren't you gonna tell 'em _how_ I didn't die?!

Monica: To be honest, we weren't watching.

Henry: But it was awesome! I took my spear and-

Rachel: Good job, buddy! Now get out. We have a story to finish!


	33. Chapter Thirty-Two

**Chapter 32**

"So what's the plan?" Dani inquired.

Xander opened his mouth to explain when Willard sauntered through the double doors. He immediately raised his hands in a surrender. "Still sober. Painfully so. Remind me what I did to your dad again, Da-"

He seemed to realize, midsentence, that one of their friends was missing and another was covered in blood. He took in the room and he ran a hand through his spiky bed head. "Gods. Rose…" Neither half-blood met his gaze. "A life transaction, huh?"

Xander looked up sharply. "If ya wanna put it clinically, I reckon so."

"How did you know that?" Dani asked suspiciously.

Willard exhaled. "Deduction. Where's a drink when you need one?" he muttered bitterly. He went to his dead comrade, pulled two golden drachmas out of his blazer pocket, and placed them carefully on her eyes. "'Upon death, coins on your eyes for the boatman,'" he quoted. "May he take you to a better Hell than this one."

When he'd regained his feet, he said, "I found Hermes, so Zeus will be here in a little while." Xander nodded. "So, kid, how are we going to get her?"

Athena's son laid out his scheme.

"Genius," Dani congratulated.

"Let's get to work."

Two sharp raps echoed down the empty hallway. There was a minute of silence. Finally, the doors to Hera and Zeus's master bedroom were swung open by the goddess of marriage.

"Did ya miss me?" Xander leaned against the doorframe casually. The flicker of total disbelief that passed over Hera's face was almost too perfect to watch. He couldn't help the laughter that escaped him.

"I killed you," she spat venomously.

"Obviously not," he responded smoothly. The goddess tried to slap him, but he caught her wrist before she could touch him. Rage radiated from her, but Xander was oddly unafraid. "Wanna try again?"

Hera pulled her arm to her chest, practically hissing. Suddenly, her entire demeanor shifted. "You may still be alive, but I have to wonder about that docile little huntress of yours," she said silkily. "Come in, Xander Drake, and tell me all the glorious details."

Something inside him snapped.

He ducked under Hera's sweeping arm and entered the lavish room. Dani followed. The goddess picked up a new dagger from her bedside table, but Xander paid her no mind. Athena's son confidently jumped onto her bed and took two hop-steps before leaping to grasp the edge of the wooden crossbeam. He flipped onto the top of the edge and drew himself up. "I don't wanna fight a girl, Hera," he said, smirking. "That's all you'll be when Zeus gets wind of what you're doin', after all."

The goddess of marriage studied her perfectly manicured nails, aloof. "Oh, really? Tell me, how does that work?"

"Don't get hasty. How 'bout we exchange our plans, question for question?"

She pretended to think about it. "I suppose there isn't any harm in that."

"How did you create the Metalliks?" he asked. It was probably the scientist in him that was so curious, but he also needed to know to make sure his plan would work.

Hera barely concealed her delight. "I simply channeled pieces of my spirit into specially made Celestial Bronze orbs. The bronze melded with those shards to make a sort of creature. They do my bidding whenever I will it, and a few of the more intelligent types can even use a little creativity."

"Can they-"

"Uh-uh-uh. We have a deal, remember?"

Xander sighed. "Does that count as your question?"

She ignored him. "That little huntress must have exchanged her soul for yours. How?"

The boy shrugged as he swung his legs. He widened his eyes innocently. "How should I know?" he answered simply. "I was dead."

The immortal set her blazing eyes upon him. She seemed to struggle to keep her voice level. "Don't play coy with me, son of Athena, or I might decide to kill you again sooner."

"Oh, well, in _that _case," Xander grumbled to himself. "I reckon Hecate's magic brought my spirit back and then transferred Rose's life force to me." _She's free from her curse now._ "So I came here just for you, sweet cheeks. Happy to see me?"

Hera snorted and narrowed her eyes. She continually flipped her dagger around her hands. "My blade will send you to Hades, Xander Drake."

With a confident air, Xander leaned over until his eyes met Hera's. "Tell me, Lady Hera…" he began in a curious tone. "What exactly were ya plannin' to tell your husband? Ya know, when he found out ya murdered all of his kids- especially since ya promised not to hurt any more of 'em after that little…incident with Hercules?" Xander rested his chin in his hands and waited expectantly for the goddess's response.

"Why would I have to tell him anything but the truth? What I am doing is justified. He has no right to cavort with mortal women when he's married to me! Do I have any half-blooded children? No. Would you like to know why, child? It is because I am a patient, caring, enduring, honest, and _loving_ wife!" Her voice grew so shrill that Xander worried her head would explode. Finally, she calmed enough to speak in a register that wouldn't make dogs whimper in pain. "Zeus and the others will come around. They will see things my way in the end."

"Right, because Zeus is so understanding and level-headed." Hades' daughter muttered sarcastically from the dark corner she was occupying. "Yeah, you obviously know your husband really well, Miss Loving Life."

"She's got a point," Xander agreed. With hopes to further irritate the goddess, he readjusted himself on the crossbeam and viewed the scene upside-down. Somehow, Hera looked even more frustrated from an inverted position. "Maybe they will eventually see your way," he said nonchalantly. "But by then it'll be too late for you."

"You are fighting for a lost cause, Xander Drake. My _family_ will not allow your-"

"I come with a message from Zeus, O goddess of goddesses." Willard's confident smirk suddenly became the center of everyone's focus.

The woman gave Dionysus's son an unforgiving once-over. When he didn't speak for several silent moments, she urged coldly, "Then relieve yourself of its burden, child."

"Let's not rush. Hera, Queen of the gods, have you forgotten your duties?"

She turned up her nose at the poorly dressed boy. "I have not."

"Then, pray tell, what are they?" He sauntered confidently into the room. His step was surefooted and his demeanor couldn't help but remind one of a wolf on the hunt. _Is this really Willard? _It was a side to their traveling companion that Xander had never seen before and hoped to any uncorrupt gods he wouldn't ever have to see again.

Even Hera seemed a little unnerved at the drunk-turned-predator, but she quickly covered the glimpse of unease. "I am the deity of family and marriage. It is my calling to protect these sacred things."

"And in what dictionary, Lady, is 'protection' synonymous with 'purify'?"

She blinked. "I- what?"

"Your beliefs are not so different from a particular half-blood. He wanted to cleanse his people of an imperfect race. Is that your wish?" His words were calm and lilting. Hera nodded once, twice, three times.

"They are ruining everything I have worked so hard for- your entire breed is ripping my family apart!"

Willard didn't bat an eye as he said, "Hera, you are indeed a modern day Hitler. Shall we address you as Fuhrer? "

Xander's jaw dropped, but he snapped back to passivity before the goddess saw. Their friendly drunkard was turning out to be quite the twisted individual. _No wonder he drinks._

"I- you- Hitler was a demigod! I am nothing like that filth!" she sputtered as she took several steps backwards.

Willard arched an eyebrow. "No? Yet, you seek to murder an entire race for no other reason than their heritage. You show no remorse in your actions. Now, of course, you must start to understand what you are doing to this family is far worse than the conception and birth of a few half-human beings. _You_, Lady Hera, are tearing your cause apart at the seams." The goddess's skin had faded to the white of her dress. "And now to deliver my message. When I alerted Zeus to your activities, he demanded a divorce."

Her eyes widened and she worked her mouth as though to speak, but her words remained caught in her throat.

"Madam, the gods you consider your family have decided to remove you from Olympus. You have failed in your duties." She sank to her knees. "And, apparently, you forgot the consequences of such actions as you have taken."

The goddess's eyes flashed. "I am immortal! I was born and will always remain thus!"

"No, you will not. You lost that right."

She began to sob. "No! I will change the laws! Nothing can defeat me! I will have perfection!"

Willard shook his head. "It's too late, Hera. Your errors are already changing you." The glow faded steadily from Hera's skin and eyes until she looked almost gray in comparison.

Xander jumped down from the cross beam and rested in a crouch before the goddess. He leaned forward so his lips were almost against her ear. His words were barely audible, even to Hera. "Ya brought this on yourself. I'm not even sorry."

Quick as viper she lashed out at Xander. Her actions were desperate and furious, and an unforeseen elbow managed to smash into his jaw. However, he pinned the woman to the marbled floor with relative ease. Athena's son allowed his knee to collide with her chin in the momentum of the tumble. When he looked down at her, she seemed dazed. Delicately, Hera touched pale fingers to her lips and then raised them to her line of sight. Each fingertip was scarlet.

"Ya know what that means, doncha?" Xander said amiably to shake her from her thoughts. He swiveled his head and spat his own blood at the pristine tile. Then he returned his attention back to the mortal woman. He pulled his sword from its sheath and set the sharp edge parallel to her throat. "Don't tell me you're scared." He whispered as though he were telling her a secret. "Murder is just a means to an end, remember? Or is it different," he pressed the blade gently against her throat, just enough to make it bleed, "now that you can die?"

Hera regained her composure. "Filthy brat!" She brought her knee into his stomach and sent him rolling, then leapt up and pointed her golden dagger at him. Red ran in rivulets from the cut in her neck, like some sort of morbid necklace. Xander laughed harshly. "You find this amusing? You, son of Athena, shall suffer the pain of this scar tenfold!"

Dani growled and took a step forward, but Xander held a hand out as a silent stop sign. This was his fight. This woman had smashed his world into pieces in one day. His brothers and sisters. Henry. Rose. The camp. For that, he would break her.

He made brief eye contact with Willard. A small, cruel light had appeared in the other boy's eyes and the drunkard nodded his approval. _He trusts me to win this._ Xander grinned back wolfishly and arched an eyebrow at Hera. "Come on, then. Make me suffer." He fell into a fighting stance and leveled his sword. His breath evened. All the training and battles he'd survived had brought him to this fight. This goddess turned mortal would be the death of him or his redemption, if he could ever be so lucky. At the very least, he would have the satisfaction of revenge.

That was the name of the game, after all.

Metal clanged. Streaks of bronze were all that could be seen as the two swung their blades. Blood spattered the ground as sharp edges cut skin, but neither mortal wavered. Hera's movements were becoming more predictable to Xander with each passing moment; he could counter her attacks almost instinctively. Their attacks and blocks became a sort of dance, and he was leading it. Adrenaline pulsed through his veins, but he kept himself under control. Xander didn't need invincibility- there was new life in him that made him stronger than ever before.

With a final thrust of the sword, the former goddess lost her footing and tumbled backward into a wall. Her weapon skidded across the floor in the opposite direction. She breathed heavily and stared up into Xander's stormy eyes as he positioned the tip of his blade just over her heart. Was she really trying to plead to him? Was she actually going to try and beg for mercy with those teary dark eyes? The same eyes that had just moments ago been consumed by hatred, murderous intent, and revealed a complete…

Monster.

"_Be careful when ye fight with monsters, lest ye become one."_

What was he doing? He couldn't kill Hera. Not when she seemed so fragile and frightened. Whatever she had done, he couldn't sink so low. It wasn't right. _I won't be like her. I won't._ But losing wasn't an option either.

Her eyes were squeezed shut and her fists were clenched tightly at her sides, as though the blade poised to pierce her flesh wouldn't hurt so much if she couldn't see it. Xander sighed and eased his grip on his sword. He cleared his throat hesitantly. "Um… Hera?"

"At least have… the decency… to kill me… quickly," the former immortal panted.

"If ya want me to kill ya, I will," Xander explained, his voice calm, "but… I'm willin' to letcha live. For a price."

Silence choked the room as Hera slowly opened her eyes. She blinked several times. Her eyebrow twitched upward and she exhaled in utter confusion, "What?"

"Swear," the boy demanded, poking her with the tip of his sword. "Swear on the River Styx that you'll call off the army and never do anything like this again."

Her glare was no less chilling in mortal form. The pause between his offer and her decision was drawn out a little too long, but she finally hissed, "I will never build an army to obliterate the entirety of the half-blood race again. The war is over. This I swear upon the River Styx." A strange wind blew through the room. It blew warmly over Xander, but Hera looked frozen as it swirled around her. The breath of Styx was gone as soon as it had come.

The deal was made. They had tricked a goddess.

~O~O~O~

Rachel: Some people really hate kids, huh?

Monica: You mean people like us?

Rachel: Yeah…we did leave our loyal readers hanging for almost a year, didn't we?

Monica: Gee, I wonder whose fault that was…

Rachel: Don't make me bring Rose back! I'll do it! You know I will!

Monica: I take it back!

Xander: You guys suck.

Rachel: At least we don't have crappy accents.

Monica: Pansy.


	34. Chapter Thirty-Three

**Chapter 33**

Dani choked on her laughter, Willard pulled a celebratory drink from his coat- Zeus knew where he'd gotten it- and his own Cheshire grin felt plastered to his face permanently. Hera's gaze flicked between them in confusion. "Just because my army is no longer functioning, you think you can toast your good fortunes? Your friends are still dead!"

They were hardly sobered. "I think we can work out a deal with my dad," Dani smirked.

"Should we tell her?" Xander asked mischievously.

Willard ran a hand through his coppery hair and took a long swig of the fine wine. "Does 'drink and _then_ be merry' mean nothing to you people?"Dionysus' son joked.

Both of his comrades rolled their eyes.

Dani picked up the former goddess' dagger. "I don't think we should let you around sharp objects for a few centuries!" She tapped the broad side with a fingernail, sheathed it, and tied it to her belt loop. Xander raised his eyebrows at her. She shrugged nonchalantly. "I can appreciate a good souvenir."

Hera's jaw dropped further with each comment. "You- you- What- I don't even-"

Willard, having materialized a second bottle of mysterious origins, walked purposefully toward the shocked maniac and put a finger to her lips. "Shhhhhh. Repeat after me: Thinking. Is. Haaaaard." He nodded and stood to his full height, all six plus feet of it. It still baffled Xander that the demigod could be the butt of every joke almost every day and then become a completely different person by subtracting one variable.

Despite her weakened condition, Hera still managed to find the strength to push Willard's hand harshly away from her face. "Explain yourselves. Explain yourselves now."

"Yes. Please do," a new voice boomed from behind Xander. The very tone emanated power, and without even turning around Xander was aware of who had entered the room.

"Lord Zeus," he answered, turning and bowing his head in respect. Perhaps ordinarily Xander would have been more worried in the god's presence, but after his accomplishment, the boy felt as though nothing could shake him; not Hera, not Zeus, not any of the other immortals who were rushing up behind the god of the sky to stare into the bedroom in shock and awe.

Murmurs of confusion began to build among everyone until Zeus raised up his hand to stop it. "What happened here?" he demanded loudly. His eyes weren't on Xander, however; instead they were focused beyond him, locked firmly on the bleeding woman on the floor. "Are you alri- Hera! You- you're mortal," the god's voice lowered dangerously with that realization, small cracks of lightning barely visible in his eyes.

Xander expected Zeus's appearance to trigger a psychological breakdown that would send his wife barking and frothing at the mouth, but her reaction was far from violent. Tears streamed down her face and she flung herself into Zeus's arms. "Oh, my love, my sweet husband! They tried to murder me!" She collapsed into a hysterical sobbing fit. The god's expression sent chills up Xander's spine, but he set his jaw and held his chin high.

His voice was eerily soft. _Is every god bipolar? _"Son of Athena, Son of Dionysus, Daughter of Hades. Explain yourselves."

Willard took one look at the forming crowd and leaned his head back to gulp the contents of the bottle. Dani had the good sense to keep her mouth shut even as she stared into the god's eyes defiantly. That left it up to Xander to explain.

He glanced around the room; his eyes lingered on each individual, and he felt a certain sense of confidence fill him. It occurred to him how much he had been through, how much he had lost and gained, and as though an unnatural force consumed him, every uncomfortable adolescent insecurity that he possessed washed away and left him only with the strength to speak. "Zeus, sir…that'd be correct." Xander could feel the tension in the room spike, but for the first time in his life, he had no intention of ever returning to his scared, little world.

He stepped forward and pointed at the now mortal woman, his mind set in his new ways. "The former goddess Hera has lied, schemed, and murdered. She's not only been neglectin' her duties, but she's also disgraced Olympus and yourself through her treachery. The genocide goin' on beneath your nose was brought about by your wife, and what you see here is how that was put to an end. Brave people've sacrificed their lives to bring down the psychopath you married, and now she's no different than us. So, frankly, I suggest you do somethin' 'bout it." Xander swallowed and looked up at Zeus, his eyes void of fear. "I suggest you do somethin' 'bout it…_sir._" He amended, attempting to be civil.

The king of gods visibly relaxed under Xander's certain gaze. He looked to his wife, who had long ago turned her face from him, and closed his eyes for a brief moment before becoming a flurry of action. "Ares. Take her to Hades. She is to be stripped of her titles and judged accordingly for her crimes." The god of war nodded solemnly and took his queen's arm.

As she reached the threshold, she turned; her beautiful face contorted madly. She hissed, "A curse upon you, son of Athena! May your soul wallow in bitter loneliness like the swine it belongs to. Let you never cherish the pleasure of a woman's sweet caress, nor experience the passion of a lover intertwined with you in the dark. Alexander Drake, I curse you with the immeasurable torment of remaining unfulfilled; as long as the sun sets in the west and the moon rises in the night you will be plagued by your own eternal virginity!"

"Aww…SHIT!"

~O~O~O~

Willard: Dude.

Xander: Shut up.

Willard: /_Dude./_

Xander: I said shut up!

Willard: …Dude! You're a virgin!

Monica: Willard, it's hardly polite to roll on the floor laughing at someone's very real, very eternal frustration.

Xander: THEN WHY ARE /_YOU/_?

Rachel: Just think of all the women who will go without your…charm.

Dani: What a shame. I guess we'll all have to go to Willard for entertainment.

Willard: I am pretty pleasurable company.

Xander: *bashes head against wall*


	35. Chapter Thirty-Four

**Chapter 34**

Xander blinked. "…D-D-Dani?" he flailed as he spun to face her. The girl of his dreams met his eyes with her own beautiful, deep, lovely, unflappable ones and winked. Red crept up his neck and cheeks, burning the tips of his ears. _Did she really just say that? …Huuuuuh?_

He felt a heavy hand clasp his shoulder. "Gotta love a tease, am I right?" He stretched his hand out, anticipating a manly bro-five that would never actualize. Instead, Xander fought his most primal instinct- which involved collapsing and inching under the huge four-poster royal bed in front of the major gods and never seeing the light of day again- and coughed his way to a clear mind. _Come on, Xander, keep it together for a few more minutes._

A new voice rose above the din of whispers. "You said lives were sacrificed. Why is my Huntress not with you?" Artemis stood before him, stately, yet there were cracks in her composure.

Unhelpful warmth returned the blush to Xander's cheeks as he remembered Rose's lips against his. Unable to respond, he stared close-lipped at his sneakers. Luckily, Dani's coldest voice of disapproval- a tone Xander resolved never to elicit from her himself- made itself heard. "As I recall, Rose was kicked out of your little virginal army." _Hey, maybe I can join._

Artemis had the grace to bow her head. "Please…How did she find the boatman?"

It was Willard who spoke. "By finding love." A shiver ran down Xander's spine, leaving him full of shame and regret as, for the first time since Rose had died in his arms, he allowed himself to understand that she was really, truly gone…and that it was his fault.

The warrior goddess jerked her chin up sharply, searching the older teen's eyes. "You…?" Willard inclined his head toward Xander. Artemis took in the sight of the ungainly country boy who seemed barely able to hold back his tears and softened ever so slightly. "If she died for her comrades, then her death was not in vain. Daughter of Hades, I would have you summon her spirit."

The dark-haired girl glanced at Xander questioningly. He nodded. She took a breath and called out, "Hey, Dad!" Olympus rumbled beneath their feet. The air shimmered before Dani, gradually taking the shape of a small, familiar redhead.

"Rose." Xander stood, frozen, as the girl smiled at him and wordlessly stepped to the goddess of the hunt.

She kneeled. "Artemis."

"You would show me fealty after being dismissed from my order?" Rose did not deign to respond. Genuine fondness flitted across Artemis' features. She stretched out a hand and set it atop Rose's head. "In that case, dear one, I hereby declare you a Huntress of my order. Do you swear to follow me and show your sisters every loyalty?"

Amazement was written on Rose's face. "I do so swear."

"Then rise, Lieutenant."

The spirit took on a silver shine and she stood, once more a fully-fledged warrior maiden. She beamed, and for once the sparkle reached her eyes.

Willard cleared his throat. Rose spun around and leaped into his bear hug, able to manifest as a physical being for a few moments before letting go. He kissed the top of her head. "Watch over us, little sister." She nodded; tears of joy flooded her old, old eyes.

Dani inclined her head and stoically allowed, "Thank you." The younger girl rocked back on her heels, grinning. The understanding between them was beyond Xander's comprehension, so he didn't bother trying to figure it out.

Before he knew it, the slight Huntress had grasped his hand. "Xander…You were worth it." He nodded, dumbfounded.

As she turned away, he drew her back. "Is this…Is this goodbye?" She didn't reply, but then, she didn't have to. A twinge of sadness tugged some string inside him. He pulled her close and held her for a moment. "Goodbye."

Tears streamed down her face when she backed away. Then, in front of Xander's eyes, the spirit of the girl who'd loved him faded into innumerable specks of light and floated upward. He ran to the window and looked up into the darkening sky. He watched in silence as new stars appeared, glimmering, forming the constellation of an arrow.

~O~O~O~

Willard: I can't believe you made me say "By finding love."

Rachel: I'm puking a rainbow.

Monica: I know, I know. We'll just say Willard gets sappy when he's buzzed, alright?

Rose: I thought it was rather sweet.

Dani: Does she even go here?

Xander: Dani…Ya like Mean Girls?

Willard: That's not the only thing she likes.

Xander: …

Dani: *winks*


	36. Chapter Thirty-Five

**Chapter 35**

Xander and his two surviving friends chewed third-rate cashews out of absurdly small packages as their very own private jet- it was loaned by Zeus, of course; they would never bother trying to steal something that big when they couldn't fly it anyway.

Willard had been taking advantage of the watered wine the king of gods had outfitted the craft with and was now sufficiently drunk enough to both appreciate the sheer improbability of Hera's heartless curse and use the opportunity to make life hell for his younger pal.

"Xander, man, did I ever tell you about that time this horny bridesmaid dragged me into a closet at this wedding I crashed?" Dani guffawed. "She was a cougar, bro. _A cougar._ If ya catch my drift." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "You're gonna have to be my wingman someday, X-Man. The X-Wingman!"

Dani jumped in. "X-Wingman is appropriate."

Willard's eyes widened in mock-horror and he slurred an apology. "Dude, dude, dude, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot that you were…." He leaned in and whispered loudly in a falsely confidential sense. "…a virgin."

Dani added cheerfully, "For life!"

Xander buried his head in his hands to hide the blush tinting his cheeks. "I'm fourteen! How many people lose it at _fourteen_?"

Willard took a cocky swig from his bottle. "Cougars, man."

Alarmed, the country bumpkin looked at the older boy. "That's so illegal I can't even-"

Dani interrupted him with a loud sigh. "Alexander, darling, have I ever told you how enchanting you look in the moonlight?"

The blonde floundered. "Uh- Um- Er- Wha-"

"I mean honestly, that hair…How do you get it to be so soft?" She was running her hands through his hair and he was floored. _This isn't real. This isn't real. I'm in the Matrix. Dani is touching me. My hair. She's…complimenting me? Oh sweet Hades. Oh shit. It's probably bad to swear to Hades when it's his daughter, even if it is only a thought- oh gods, this isn't real._

"You know, there's just something about being so high up in the air…it's ravishing, isn't it, dear? Simply…ravishing." Dani's fingers trailed down his face and neck, her delicacy sending chills throughout every nerve in his body. She then grabbed onto his upper arm and squeezed it, her eyebrow raising provocatively. "Why, _Alexander!_ Have you been working out? I'm not so sure I'll be able to resist your alluring charms for long…"

At this point, there was nothing Xander could say or do to stop all hell from breaking loose inside his own head. He fell to utilizing man's last resort; he grabbed the bottle straight from Willard's hand, to the protests of an abruptly disgruntled child of Dionysus, and gulped as much of the disgusting stuff as he could bear.

"Wow, Xander. That's pretty manly. Dare I say…hot?" Dani jabbed, smiling playfully.

"Oh, 'course," Xander answered dryly, looking tiredly at the girl beside him, "nothin's sexier than the eternally celibate. I'll be pretty damn attractive while I waste away my sexual prime, eh?"

"Oi, sharing is caring," Willard stated as he snatched his drinking buddy back. "But if you two want to share saliva, I'd care to excuse myself." He stood and sauntered to the back of the plane, where a young flight attendant smiled felicitously in the face of his heroic appeal.

Xander shook his head and reclined the seat back a few inches. "Share saliva? I don't believe he could make that sound any less appealin'."

"Oh, I don't know," Dani responded casually, looking at the son of Athena out of the corner of her eye, "I think it sounds pretty damn appealing. _Sexy,_ even-"

"Dani," Xander sighed exasperatedly, shutting his eyes.

"My gods, is it getting hot in here-"

"Dani."

"Maybe _I'm_ just getting hot-"

"Dani. Please."

"How will I ever control myself around your sexual magnetism, Alex-"

"Dani. Please. Stop," Xander begged, finally achieving a level of desperate emptiness that caused the teasing to cease.

A gravelly shout carried from the back of the plane, where Willard had pulled the flight attendant onto his lap and was tickling her mercilessly. "Come on, Dani, give the kid a break!" Xander's knuckles whitened in disgust. Some friends, messing with him this way. Some dream girl, pawing at him for kicks when she had to know…

The daughter of Hades subsided, turning her head to face Xander head on, her face devoid of any teasing. "Okay. I'll stop," she told him honestly. "But there's something you really should know…Hera was mortal, Xander."

Xander blinked, not quite catching her meaning.

"She was _mortal. _Powerless."

"Ya mean…There's not really a curse?"

Dani nodded affirmatively. "You'll still be a virgin for life, but it's not Hera's fault," she teased.

The boy laughed, relieved of his worries and fears of being alone forever, and eventually calmed down enough to look at the girl he realized he might actually be able to love. "Thank you," he said solemnly. A moment of awkward silence passed between them before Dani took the opportunity to speak.

"So…uh…are we dating now?"

Xander sat up, confusion evident not only in his face, but in the words that he attempted to splutter out, "Uh…what…we're…dating…what…huh?"

"Well, I just figured," Dani continued, trying to sidestep the baffled emotions radiating off of the boy beside her. "I mean…well, someone did die for you, solely so you could date me, so I kind of figured you'd want to do that."

He blinked, his very ears deceiving him and warping his ordinarily miserable, pathetic life into one with rays of sunlight. She wanted to date? Him? She wanted to date him? So consumed with the unbelievable truth before him, Xander forgot to speak, and it wasn't until Dani had leaned in slightly to make sure he was alright that he remembered what his mouth was supposed to do.

And it wasn't talking.

~O~O~O~

Monica: Plot twist-

Rachel: He licked her cheek!

Xander: I did not!

Dani: Well…that's not _quite_ the spot he licked…

Xander: Did I get any complaints?

Dani: Only from the sexy police.

Monica: …Did that just happen?

Willard: Cougars, dude. _Cougars._


	37. Epilogue

Epilogue

"What the heck are you doing, Cowboy?" Dani asked teasingly as she gave Xander a hard shove on the chest. "Quit doing that. We're alone."

"Yeah," he responded, trying to erase the concerns from his mind, "I'm sorry. I'll stop." He reached out and pulled his girlfriend close to him, apologetically burying his face against her shoulder. He could feel her touch trying to lull him back into security, but at the next creak of the walls, Xander was sitting up erect yet again, his head trained towards the door.

"Xander!"

"I'm sorry!"

"No one is coming home for at least an hour. We. Are. _Alone._" Dani moved in closer towards him and smiled, the small action causing his heart to melt. "So, could we, I don't know, try and take advantage of this time?" Xander glanced down at the bed they were sitting on, realizing quickly that Dani's hand was no longer on the comforter, but sliding gradually up his thigh. She looked him over with a provocative glance, smirking dangerously.

"Take advantage of this time, huh?" Xander replied casually, trying to remain composed as he was drawn closer to the beautiful young woman before him. "Whatever do you mean by that?" he asked, intentionally trying to keep up the ruse of naivety.

Dani rolled her eyes and moved closer as well, her face close enough to Xander's that he could feel her breath. "Five years later and you're still this dumb? What the heck are they teaching you at that fancy university of yours?" She moved quickly, stealing a kiss before he could reply.

"Applied engineering," Xander answered innocently, blushing at the contact as he placed his hands around her waists. "It's actually very fascinatin', Dani. Last week before the semester ended we-"

"Shut up, Xander." Her mouth closed over his and thoughts of college, parents, and mythological monsters vanished completely from his mind. All that mattered was getting to be with the girl he loved, and he simply couldn't move fast enough for the opportunity, nor slow enough to make it last.

He could feel the daughter of Hades' hands pulling at his shirt, and with a jolt of excitement, he proceeded to do the same. It had been months since he had last seen his girlfriend at camp, and it seemed to him that the separation was finally going to pay off. Although he tried to contain his eagerness, the moment that their shirts were lying together on one end of the bed was a moment of great triumph for him.

"Xander," Dani breathed, pulling back into the pillows slightly.

"Dani," he breathed back, following as his body pressed against her, unwilling to let go.

"Xander, Xander stop." The suddenly serious tone in her voice shut off all passion and brought the son of Athena to a halt. He stared at her with wide, concerned eyes, his heart plummeting into his stomach for fear that he had done any number of things wrong.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault. What'd I do wrong?" he pleaded fearfully.

Dani shook her head and propped herself up on one elbow. "Nothing, nothing," she murmured reassuringly, sliding a bra strap back up her shoulder. "I just…I don't know. It's weird."

Xander's eyebrows lowered curiously. "What is? Are ya okay?" he asked softly.

"Yeah, I am, definitely," she answered truthfully, nodding her head. "Just…well…just all of a sudden…I just felt…"

Xander motioned with his hands for her to continue, anxiously wanting to know what was plaguing her. "Ya felt…?"

Dani shut her eyes and sighed reluctantly, her words spilling out quickly and blandly: "I felt like I just didn't want to have sex with you."

She opened her eyes to view her boyfriend's face which had grown suddenly pale and wide-eyed. "Ya…ya what?" he choked out, his hands twitching nervously with dread from an almost repressed memory suddenly coming back to light, at a terribly inconvenient moment, he would add.

"No, that's not it exactly," Dani backtracked, searching for more accurate words. "I suppose it wasn't that I didn't _want_ to," she decided, her hand gently caressing Xander's cheek as she spoke, "more like…more like I _couldn't._ Like some supernatural force was keeping me from wanting to sleep with you, do you get it?"

Xander blinked, his face blank and emotionless. "Yeah," he responded dispassionately, "I get it."

Promptly, Xander threw himself down and buried his head against one of Dani's pillows, screaming in frustration.

~O~O~O~

Willard: HEY GUYS!

Xander: Dude! Knock first!

Willard: Knock knock! Who's there? AN AWESOME-TASTICAL IDEA.

Dani: Yes, Willard, you can crash here instead of the dumpster outside. I only kicked you out the once.

Xander: And that was only because you- *cough*- _didn't knock._

Willard: No! You guys- LET'S CELEBRATE PANTSGIVING.

Xander: …Annually?

Willard: Every day!

Xander: Oh, sure, we'll just spend every day getting high and naked.

Dani: I'm in.

Xander: …As am I.


End file.
